Best Kept Secret (Rochester Trilogy 3)

She crawls over me and hooks her nails into my abs. Drags them down. Refuses to touch me. I can’t stop the grunt that comes out of me. I want her hands on my cock. I want her to ride me. I want her payback more.

Jane drags a fingertip around the base of my cock, still not touching me. She does it again. I deserve this. Her eyes on my face are the hottest thing and the most violating. Goose bumps run up the length of my body. Slowly, so slowly I’m probably going to have a heart attack, she lowers her head. The ends of her hair brush against my skin first, and then—

Her lips.

She takes them away as soon as they meet the stretched-tight head of my cock. “You have to wait,” she says. Her voice is nothing like I would say it. If it weren’t for the glint in her eyes, I would think she felt sorry for me. Empathetic to the last.

“I’ll wait.”

Jane leans back in and licks around my tip. Her tongue is so soft it makes my toes curl. She watches me with luminous eyes, tracking every tensing muscle and involuntary sound. I make another one when she takes some of me into her mouth. More when she licks along the underside of me, along a sensitive vein.

She drags it out.

“This?” she keeps asking. “This?” And her tongue does terrible things to me. It makes me into a mindless fool. It makes me into nothing but a bundle of nerves and pent-up desire. Jane takes me into her mouth as deep as she can, testing the different ways she can hold her tongue against me. My God, I thought she was gone forever. I thought I would never see her again. I deserve this torture.

She wraps her hands around me and works at it. Muscles fire, one after the other. Jane takes her mouth away and peers up at me, scolding. “You have to wait,” she says again. “I told you to wait.”

“Fuck.”

Just when it can’t get worse, she reaches for my hand again. This time, I give it to her. She puts it in her hair, her other hand still wrapped around me. “Hmm,” she says, the tip still in her mouth. That sound goes all the way to my spine. To my heart. Jane lifts her mouth away. “That’s what you like.”

Yes. I might not try to be an asshole every waking moment, but touching her like this—touching her like I might fuck her mouth, and tell her how to do it—it makes me harder. That shouldn’t be possible. It happens anyway. Jane puts her hand over mine and pleasure darkens the edges of my vision. She’s still in control of this. I never knew it could be so hot. I never knew I’d like it so damn much this way.

Jane gives a little over to me, letting me push her down onto me again and again in the steady rhythm I want. She takes me deep, the head of me meeting the back of her throat. And then she swallows.

I almost come up off the bed, it feels so good. Jane gives me a last, long lick and I realize what she’s doing the second before it happens.

She sits back on her heels and looks down at me. My heart races. My free hand is braced against the wall like the wall can help me. I’ve never been this hard in my life. And Jane just watches. She looks at me, caught here by her. I asked her for this. I got what I wanted. I can’t breathe. My brain is frantic for anything she can give me. My thoughts latch on to how perfect she looks, naked and tousled and here.

I don’t know what I was thinking before, trying to push her away. I guess I wanted proof that she wouldn’t leave. Goddamn it, she came back here with Emily. That’s proof enough.

Jane shifts her weight, her eyes moving along a path from my cock to my eyes. Does she know what she looks like right now? A miracle. She catches me looking and inches her knees apart so I can see between her legs. It’s mostly shadow and glistening flesh. She might be punishing me, but she’s waiting, too. Her lips part like she might say something, but then she shakes her head. Nothing.

“Jane.”

She cocks her head to the side and her hair brushing her shoulder almost makes me come on my own stomach.

“It hurts,” I admit. It really does. It hurts to be this hard. Hurts more than I can explain. The hurt rises through my abs to my chest. I’m one long chain of need for Jane Mendoza.

Jane nods, silent. Waiting.

Enough, I want to say. Enough. I learned my lesson. I fucking get it. I’ll never let you walk out of here again. I’ll drag you into this mess with me even if it’s not right for you. A perfect woman deserves a perfect life, not Beau Rochester, not damaged goods. But it’s not enough. I’ll spend every day from now until the end hurting just like this if that’s what it takes to keep her with me.