“Is this where you’re hiding?” Hawk enters the library, and I glance over my shoulder to see him saunter in wearing a pair of jeans, with a tight fitting white tee. The muscles of his chest and arms bunch and release with every movement, and I can’t deny, he’s beautiful.
He was the last one of the three to accept me. But now he has, we’ve grown so much closer. I’ve learned more about him. Knowing he tried to go to war to forget what my father had done to him made me sad. It felt as if he was forced into a new life, one he didn’t want because of the trauma.
“I needed to think about the future,” I tell him. When I told them I wanted to go study, to try something new, all three were ready to pack up their lives and move with me. But I couldn’t ask them to do that.
Crow made it clear I will never be able to leave The Fallen. I was one of them now. As much as I do love them, I realized I had to find my own way without the fear of what could happen if my father ever found me.
“You know what your future holds,” Hawk says as he settles into an armchair across from me. His legs crossed at the angle, making him look like a lounging tiger, waiting for me to make a move.
“I can’t—”
“If you try to leave us, you know we’ll find you. We will follow you anywhere you go,” he informs me of something I already knew. There’s no doubt in my mind these men have already stalked me, they had already knew everything there was to know about me. I had no idea who they were.
“What if I were to come back after?”
“Do you really want to leave?” he challenges. “Because if you do, we’ll allow it for a short time, but you have to remember there is no way Crow and Falcon will accept it.” He’s right, so I can’t argue with him. They will lose their shit if I were to leave. They’ve both made it clear.
“What about you?” As much as I know Hawk accepts me, and enjoys me in their home, he’s never admitted how he feels about me. He’s never said those three words, the ones I want to hear. That I ache to hear.
When I was younger, I never thought I would want a man to love me. But now, having to who do, Hawk means so much to me, I want him to admit it as well.
His eyes shimmer as he regards me. “You’ve tempted me since the moment you stepped into my life. When you bumped into me that night, I couldn’t deny I craved you. There were no words to describe how deeply I hungered to taste you on my tongue, to feel you on my lips. But I don’t do emotions.”
“I never did for a long time,” I tell him. “But then you, Crow, and Falcon came along.” It’s no longer embarrassing to admit I want them. I don’t feel shame when I think about how they feed my demons, how they satisfy the darkness residing in my soul. “But I need that,” I tell him, keeping the emphasis on the last word.
Hawk regards me for a long, silent moment. When he finally breaks into a gentle smile, he nods. “I understand,” he says as he pushes to his feet, offering his hands for to me to take a hold of and I accept. He pulls me up, and brings me into his arms, as they wrap around me like a cocoon. I nestle into his warmth.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, unsure of why I’m apologizing. He doesn’t need it from me, not anymore. But I can’t help saying because I know he was affected deeply by what happened. Knowing how my father tortured him still niggles at the back of my mind.
“Lucille,” Hawk says as he steps back and cups my face in his hands. His hold on me calming, but his eyes dance with affection. “I didn’t think it would ever be possible, but I do.” He doesn’t say the words, and he chuckles when I roll my eyes. “I love you,” he tells me with a smile, and I can’t help but sink into him again.
“You two are so adorable.” Falcon’s voice comes from behind me, but I don’t release my hold on Hawk. “I kind of feel sick with all the goddamned sweetness in this room right now.” The heat of him at my back sandwiches me between the two firm bodies. “But I know how to make things right.” His voice rumbles against me, the vibration sending pleasure through every part of me. From head to toe, I’m calm, I’m safe.