The Life - Rebirth (The Life 4)

The twins were suddenly obsessed with going to the island, and I had to pretend not to know why. I’d turned off my computer when all the conversations these days were about Lyon’s sons and how hot they were. Ma and Gianna still had long in-depth conversations as part of Ma’s healing, I guess, and I think Gianna was finally over the past.

Her dad would soon be released early for good behavior, and we’d decided to let him move back into the house. Gianna had no interest in living there again, too many bad memories, but she didn’t want to sell. Connie and Ron stay there for now, and if Gianna has her way, they won’t be leaving anytime soon.

I’d, of course, thanked the couple for their care of my family by taking care of their debt and offering to buy them a permanent home, which they’d refused in favor of traveling the country in their trailer whenever the mood struck. Sal had been back and forth between here and Sicily twice already, and I think he was beginning to lose the sickening pallor from his face.

Even Jr. was starting to come into his own with the help of Lance and I. He was no longer the surly youth I’d met though I think he still has a few demons to fight, but all in all, he and his sister were coming into their own.

Now the big thing everyone is looking forward to is heading to Lyon and Mancini’s Island, where the women were excited to finally meet. All in all, I’d say we have nothing but good times to look forward to. I reached across the table for her hand, intertwining our fingers before raising them to my lips. “I’m so in love with you, Gianna.”

Her beautiful smile lit up her face and sent heat spearing into my chest. “I love you more!”

GIANNA

Sometimes I’m afraid to be as happy as I am. I think it’s a fluke, an anomaly, and that someday something’s going to go wrong, and it’ll all be snatched away from me again. I find myself lying still in bed some mornings, waiting for the fog to clear, so I’m sure it’s not a lingering dream but reality and then somedays like a child, I wanna pinch myself because my life has become too good to be true.

I guess there was never any doubt that I’d forgive Gabriel; how could I not, once I heard his story? And even though I tried to hold onto that anger in the face of that because I thought it was justified, there was some innate part of me that knew it would’ve been wrong.

Wrong to punish him further, to make him suffer even more than he already has. But now I see clearly that my forgiving him has wrought wonders in mine and my children’s lives. In short, I’ve gained more by letting go than I would’ve had I held onto anger and hurt feelings. Gabriel says it means I’ve grown up, I guess.

The first days back, it was hard not to just become putty in his hands again because even though I’d already half made up my mind to forgive him after my conversation with cousin Colt, I still felt that he should pay just a little bit of a penalty for the hardships I’d faced, but even that was hard to pull off in the face of his sincere remorse.

Funnily enough, while I was going through those days of dread and fear when I first left here and after finding out that I was pregnant, I never allowed myself to dwell on what was going on. I held the fear and the darkness at bay as best I could because I knew giving in to self-pity would’ve only made things worst.

But now that it’s all behind me, I tremble at the thought of all that could’ve gone wrong, and looking back; there’s so much that could have. I get even colder when I think of what might’ve happened had my plan worked, and he never found me, us. I only feel a little bit bad that it still gives him nightmares, that he sometimes calls out for me in the night while still fast asleep. Those times I only have to reach out and caress his brow to settle him down again.

Happily, I don’t get to dwell for too long on those daunting thoughts because he’s always there to show me in some way how much he loves, how much he regrets our time apart. It’s to the point where I’m the one who has to beg him to forgive himself sometimes, and maybe that’s what has helped me let go without much fanfare.

I never got to level any of the accusations I once held against him at his head because of his remorse and the way he goes out of his way to make up for what I now know is not entirely his fault. He thinks that I’m unaware of the nights he stays awake watching me as I pretend to sleep.