Better Than Home: Better Than Good Novella

“You don’t know. You just have to trust yourself…and be brave.”

“Brave,” I repeated.

Aaron squeezed my hand. “Bravery has never been a problem for you, Matt.”

I pointed at my chest comically. “Well, I did kill that spider in the bathroom this morning.”

He cracked the slightest smile before staring into space. “I mean it. You aren’t afraid to take chances. You said yes to New York immediately. You never hesitated or pointed out all the ways it would make life tough for us.”

I winced. “I should have been more realistic, huh?”

“No. That’s not what I’m saying. We can’t control every situation, but we learned a lot. As for having to work harder or be a better gay or bi man in a straight world…I get that. I’m used to questioning my luck and waiting for the other shoe to drop. I did that when I met you. I thought…there’s no way this straight guy is really into me. He’s just curious and confused. He’ll get sick of me and find a pretty girl to marry, buy a house with a picket fence, and have oodles of kids.”

I bumped his elbow. “And here we are.”

“Yes. I’m so grateful…for you, for us,” he whispered, adding, “I’m willing to fight for our happiness. I know you have my back. But sometimes I think you forget that I have yours too. Maybe I don’t look tough, but I assure you, I am mighty. You can lean on me, Matty. I’m not going anywhere.”

I pursed my lips, blinking through a new sheen of tears as I reached for his hands. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

We stared into the darkness for a while, listening to the crickets and the occasional bark of a neighborhood dog. It was symbolic in a way—the two of us hand in hand, ready to take on whatever might come our way…together.

We went inside for dinner, tidied the kitchen, then cuddled on the sofa, binging a British mystery show before finally calling it a night.

Aaron talked around his toothbrush, filling me in with all the small details he’d stored up over the day: The faucet in the guest room was fixed, the bath mat was ordered, the market in town sold the best sushi, and what did I think of his toes?

I brushed my teeth, nodding at the barrage of information and giving him a thumbs-up when he pointed at his feet.

When we climbed under the covers, we reached for each other the way we did every night.

Don’t get any crazy ideas. We didn’t have sex every night. Sometimes we talked or read before turning off the lights. We’d been together for long enough that our routine felt like well-choreographed dance steps. So beautiful in its simple synchrony. I never took him for granted, but I wondered if I ever told him how much I appreciated the small moments. The shape of him lying beside me, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, and the shallow intake of his breath.

Tonight, I needed more. I literally ached to be inside him.

I pulled Aaron close and rolled on top of him, covering his body as I braced my weight on my elbows. He draped one arm over my shoulder while his free hand drifted to my side, resting on my hip…then my ass. He opened himself to me, spreading his legs as he parted his lips, and slid his tongue alongside mine. We rocked against each other…a gentle, almost lazy sway that gained momentum with every thrust and sigh until we were hard as nails and panting in the effort to be one.

After a few minutes of intense humping and hungry, open-mouthed kisses, we wordlessly kicked the duvet aside and peeled off our boxer briefs. I reached for the lube in the nightstand drawer and lifted his right leg, wordlessly pouring the clear liquid onto his fingers before slathering over my dick and scooting closer still.

I was about to take over in a purely utilitarian fashion. If I wanted inside, I had to be sure he was ready for me. I had this part down to a science. One finger, two…a gentle push and slide, maybe a third digit or occasionally, a dildo. Sometimes Aaron took over completely, though. Like now.

He bit his bottom lip as he slipped his lube-slicked middle finger in his hole. I swallowed hard, absently stroking myself as I watched him put on a show for me. He played with his nipples then flattened his palm along the plane of his taut abs and gripped his cock. He shook his head when I tried to take over.

“Not yet,” he whispered, adding a second finger and the tip of a third.

I caressed his inner thighs, jacking my dick while he spread himself open wider still, massaging his taint, precum pooling at his slit. My cock had a heartbeat all its own. It fucking throbbed in my hand as I tracked that lone bead. I licked my lips and swallowed hard, tugging at my shaft feverishly.