One little brick falling from the wall.
I love him with my whole soul. And I just don’t want to bear this burden alone. He wants to know. I need him to know.
So I take a deep, slightly muddy inhale, wipe my face clean on his shirtsleeve a little, and muster up the courage to say the thing I have been too scared to say. “From people who were going to trap me into doing things that I didn’t want to do. But that I wouldn’t be able to get out of. Ever.”
It isn’t much, but Dane isn’t stupid. And it’s enough. He gets it. His grip loosens, his eyes become warmer and kinder. “I’ll fucking kill every one of them. Just say the word.”
Oh lord. But violence is not the answer.
So I shake my head. “I’m not telling you this to get you to avenge me. I’m telling you this because I want you to know. And I’m trusting you not to act on it without my permission.”
“I’d never,” he replies, gruff and steady. “Ever.”
“Good. So now you know.” I let out the breath that I feel I’ve been holding for a whole month. My boobs heave under my soaked shirt. I catch his eyes watching them rise and fall. My lady parts tighten instantly.
But he’s not going to be distracted that easily. He refocuses on my face. “And that woman today?”
“That woman who almost stopped us today, she was my quote-unquote foster mother. But really she just collected the welfare from the state for me and for all her girls. And once I turned eighteen, I was to be turned over to Tony. Who ran the girls. Which is just as bad as it sounds.”
“Fuck,” Dane hisses through his teeth.
Suddenly my eyes fill up with burning tears. It’s the first time I’ve been brave enough to put it out there into the world. And it feels so good to have him recognize it for the awful thing it was.
“So that’s your secret,” he says.
“Yes.” Even to my own ears, I sound firm and brave. “That’s my secret. And I’m sorry I kept it from you. Deceived you and Ethel and Morty.”
He traces my face with his eyes, shaking his head a little. “You act like you’re the only one with secrets in this world.”
I search his face for some hint of what he means. Of course I’ve been curious. All that expensive art, all this secrecy. “I’m not supposed to ask questions, remember?”
Fuck, what if he’s married?
“That was then,” he growls. “Before I made you mine.”
Mine. His. This. Us.
I spit a little more dirt out of my mouth, feeling it grinding between my teeth. “It’s your turn to talk, Dane. I don’t want secrets.”
He cages me in, close now, blocking out the weather. Sheltering me from the rain and the wet. “You think I built this life trading bonds? You think I got this way doing legal shit? You think bullet wounds are something every upstanding motherfucker on the trading floor would have?”
I blink up at him. Studying his beautiful eyes. His throat. The glint of his Rolex in the low light. “I don’t know, Dane. I don’t know how any of this works.”
“Well I didn’t, alright. I got here doing shady shit, living a shady life. But when I saw you, I knew I wanted better. I knew I had to have better. But more than that, I had to give you better.”
I swallow hard, feeling my lip start to tremble. “Me too. As soon as I saw you, I didn’t want to hide anything. But I didn’t know what to say.”
He sets his jaw, raises his eyebrows. “We’re not so fucking different after all. Except you’re messy and chaotic and do shit like go running into the fucking mud garden for no goddamned reason.”
I stop myself from smiling and make myself stay serious. “And you’re controlling and possessive and do things like watch me while I masturbate and label all your bins in the garage. Animal.”
He looks down at me, and the barest hint of a smile tightens his cheeks. “You love it. Don’t you fucking lie to me.”
He presses his pelvis into mine, and even through the soaking wet fabric of both of our clothes, I feel him hard and warm.
Involuntarily, my eyes flutter shut. He turns me into hot caramel on an ice cream sundae. “I love it more than everything.”
He growls at me then, then rises up on his knees. He grabs hold of my hip, and in one brutal movement flips me over so that I’m facing the muddy ground, ass in the air, elbows sinking into the muck.
He yanks my leggings down, exposing my butt to the chilly cold air. And then I feel his cock at my opening. Hard and warm. He pushes into me without another word. I groan into the muddy, fertile ground. I grip his hands at my hips.