I grabbed my laptop and pushed it into my bag then shouldered it. My nostrils flared as I pulled in a deep breath, preparing myself for the way I was going to have to act around her. I’d made my bed, and now I was going to have to lie in it, whether I liked it or not.
“I’d like that,” Willow’s sickly sweet voice said, and when I turned, she was staring at me like I was her Prince Charming coming to save her. She was delusional, but so was I for doing this. Did I really think I could win at this? I wasn’t sure I would, but I’d try my damn hardest. If I had to pretend just so I could keep what Aria and I had secret, then that was what I’d do, whether I liked it or not.
I waved my hand in front of us, signaling for her to exit first, and then I followed her to her classroom. She put an extra sway into her hips, and any other time, I’d have loved the way her skirt gripped her ass, but that was before…
Before Aria…
Before I’d fallen in love with her.
Shit. Fuck.
I couldn’t think about that, not now. Not while I was trying to push it all aside just to cover our tracks. I needed to hone in on my game face and not let a single crack appear.
Willow collected her things, and together we walked down the hallway and out of the school. My gaze landed on the steps, the same steps Aria would sit on while she waited for her mom or Sal to come and pick her up after school, but she wasn’t there.
My gut churned at remembering the last time she’d sat on the concrete steps. It was the first time I’d seen her scars—fuck, she’d cut today at school and I’d tried to fix her. I was trying to make her better when all she had needed was me to be there. I’d abandoned her after Ford’s warning, and I hadn’t stepped up when she needed me the most. I’d let her down, but more importantly, I was still letting her down. I was failing on all the promises I’d made—words I’d said and thought I’d meant, but I hadn’t followed through.
I tried to steady my breathing as we halted next to Willow’s car and attempted to pull a smile on my face to mask the way I felt as I looked down at her, but I wasn’t sure how successful I was.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked.
She nodded and stepped closer, her hand landing on my chest as she lifted up onto her tiptoes and placed a kiss on my cheek. She hovered longer than necessary, and I closed my eyes. That was a mistake because the first thing I saw was Aria’s face. Her beautiful features with freckles dotted over her nose. I imagined her blush as I stared at her, and the way her eyes would spark when I touched her.
But it wasn’t Aria’s lips pressing against the stubble on my jaw. It was Willow’s, a woman I would have wanted a year ago, but now held nothing to the woman I really wanted—needed.
“Thank you, Cade,” Willow whispered
, and pulled away. I wasn’t sure what she was thanking me for. Maybe for saying I’d take her on a date, or maybe because I’d agreed to take part in her game—as if I had a choice in the matter.
“You’re welcome,” I murmured and stepped back as she got into her car. I didn’t move from the spot I was standing in as she turned the engine on. I stayed glued to the ground as she reversed and exited the parking lot.
Once I knew she was out of sight, I yanked my cell out of my pocket and clicked on my messages. I was typing one out and sending it before I even realized what I was doing.
Cade: We need to talk.
Aria: No, we don’t.
I gritted my teeth at her reply and sauntered across the lot to my car. We couldn’t leave things the way they were. I needed her to know I meant each and every word I’d whispered to her. I needed to make sure she was okay. I just needed her.
Cade: Yes, we do. I’m coming over to your place.
Aria: I’m not there. Just let it be, Cade.
Aria: Just let it go. She’ll never know what really happened. Not from me.
I pulled my car door open and read her messages over and over again. I knew what she was saying, but I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to think about the possibility of her not being in my life. I didn’t want to imagine what my days would look like without her face in them. But I didn’t have a choice. I never had a choice, no matter how much I thought I did.
Cade: Thank you.
Cade: For covering for me.
Aria: Us. I did it for us, Cade.
Us. There’d never be an us again. I knew that. But it didn’t mean I liked it.
Chapter Two
ARIA