Fast Burn (Burned Duet 1)
Page 14
“Are you serious?” I asked, slamming my hands onto my hips and trying to stay calm. It wasn’t often I confronted her about all the shit she was doing, mostly because she always had someone she was getting high with, and I’d learned my lesson a long time ago to not confront her in front of her “guests.” She used them to fight her battles with me, especially if it was a man. I wasn’t afraid of what would happen, but I didn’t have the energy to fight more than just her. So right now, having her alone was a rare occasion, and I was determined not to keep letting this shit slide. This was my home too—a home I paid for.
“Yes!” She threw her hands in the air, then gripped her lank, greasy hair. She still had blond on the tips from when she’d been clean for a short while a few years ago and decided she’d wanted a change. The change hadn’t lasted long—her hair or her being clean. “I put a fuckin’ roof over your head and keep food in your belly—”
“Nope.” I shook my head and took a step toward her. In our small trailer, it meant we were nearly toe-to-toe. “You don’t keep a roof over my head.” I pointed at my chest. “I paid last month's rent, and it’s due again tomorrow.” I raised a brow. “You got that rent money, Mom?” Her silence was enough of an answer. I didn’t even know why I bothered asking because I already knew she didn’t have it.
“And the last time you bought food for this trailer, I was eleven years old.” My breaths sawed in and out of my body, but I had to keep myself under control. I couldn’t let myself lose the issue at hand. “You do not provide for me in any way, shape, or form, so all I ask is that you don’t have a goddamn party in the trailer while I’m at school!”
“You don’t like it, leave!” It wasn’t the first time she’d said it, so I let it go right over my head. There was no way I’d leave, not until I knew I was graduating.
I wasn’t staying for her. I was staying for me. At least, that was what I kept telling myself. Maybe I did stay to make sure she was still alive and not overdosing. Maybe I was putting her first and myself last?
I blew out a breath and took several steps away from her. We’d get nowhere shouting, not when she was coming down from her latest high. “I just want to be able to come home and sleep, Mom.” I was tired, and not only physically, but mentally too. There was only so much I could take, and I was afraid I’d break soon and not be able to come back. Mom used drugs to ebb her pain, and I was conscious of her addictive behavior and how quickly and easily I could become her, which was why I had to stick to my plan. And arguing with her right now wasn’t part of my plan.
“And I want to have my friends over whenever I fuckin’ want!” She dropped herself down onto the sofa and grabbed her small tin she kept her supplies in, and the single move had me needing to escape as soon as I could. I refused to stay here while she got high.
The first time she’d done it in front of me, I’d been ten and hadn’t understood what was happening. That soon changed, and I knew whenever the tin came out to hide away in my bedroom, or as far away from her as I could. The memories of her not being high were almost completely faded now, and all I could remember was her eyes bloodshot and her skin covered in track marks and scabs. I hated it. I hated her for doing it to us. I hated the situation. I hated this goddamn place.
I spun around and marched to my room, grabbed my bag and a change of clothes, and left the trailer, banging the door on my way out. It wasn’t the first time we’d argued, and I had to find somewhere else to stay for the night. Usually, I’d rock up at Knox’s place, knowing the house would be warm and the bed would have sheets on it, but it was Friday—party night—and I didn’t think I had the patience to give Knox the attention I knew I’d have to tonight.
So, his place was out of the question.
My car stuttered to a start, and the red gas light warning me I was seriously close to only running on fumes lit up. I had all my savings in my bag, but they were dwindling faster than they ever had. Rent was due tomorrow, and I couldn’t afford it on my own, not after I paid for the first competition next weekend. I’d sunk so much money into it, and I was starting to wonder if investing in a future so far away when I had so little money was a good idea or not. Either way, I had to get gas and something to eat, so I dug into my backpack, pulled a crumpled twenty out, and drove away from the trailer and out of the trailer park.
I wasn’t really sure where I was heading once I’d put gas in, but after driving for about fifteen minutes, lights from a diner flashed ahead. I’d been through this part of town to get to school a thousand times, and yet I’d never once stepped foot inside the diner.
A board showcasing a two-course special including a drink for 4.99 was the deciding factor, and I swerved into the lot and parked. I shouldered my bag as I pushed out of the car, my stomach rumbling as I walked toward the main doors. The diner was half full of people, and as I opened the front door, a woman shouted, “Find yourself a seat, hon!”
My gaze tracked around the room, and I tried to decide between a booth and a table. In the end, I settled for a table because there was only one of me. The red leather chair squeaked as I sat down, and I grabbed the menu to check out what else they served. The smell of food in the air made my mouth water, and the sound of sizzling coming from the kitchen was inviting.
“Sorry, hon, crazy night tonight.” I stared up at the woman and her flowing red hair. “What can I getcha?”
“I…the special?” I asked, hoping I’d read the sign outside right.
“Awesome.” She smiled brightly at me. “What drink do you want with that?”
“Orange soda?” I asked.
Her eyes twinkled. “You sure about that, hon?”
“I think?”
She laughed. “I’ll get you an orange soda, but if you don’t like it, I’ll swap it out.” She bent down and whispered, “I’m good friends with the owner, Sal. I’m sure he won’t mind.”
My gaze settled on her name tag and the word “Jan.” “Thanks,” I whispered, and she was gone before I knew it, flitting around the diner like a woman on a mission. She stopped to talk to a few people, and her gaze moved back to me several times. I wasn’t sure if she was talking about me or just checking on me, but either way, I didn’t like it.
“Elodie?” someone called, and my head whipped around at the familiar voice.
“Leo?” I frowned and turned in my seat. “What are you doing here?”
Leo pushed his shoulders back, his kind face moving his small smile into a grin. “Aunt Jan told me to come make small talk with the girl who wasn’t sure if she liked orange soda or not.” He held his hands in the air as he stopped at the edge of the table. “Her words, not mine.”
I snorted. “I wasn’t sure what the special was,” I said as way of an explanation. “I only have enough for the special.” I didn’t want to tell him that I’d had to spend fifteen of my twenty dollars on gas to last me the rest of the week. I definitely didn’t want to tell him that I didn’t have rich parents like Knox to fall back on, even though everyone thought I took handouts from him. I never had, and never would.
“Don’t worry about it. Jan sees a loner and likes to make me come over because, apparently, I’m less threatening than she is.” It was then I really looked at him and realized he was wearing a name tag too.
“Wait.” I pushed forward on my seat. “You work here?”
“Yep.” Leo laughed and pushed his hand through his hair, and I was starting to realize he did that when he was nervous. Did I make him nervous? “Two nights a week and Saturday all day.”