“Only I would fall in love with the man sent to protect me. Oh, and of course, my mom and dad’s best friend.” Her hand moved to my shoulder, and I winced from her touch. “Shit. Sorry.” She cleared her throat. “What I’m trying to say is that I’ve been through pain too, and I came out on the other side.” I could never have predicted what she said next. “I killed a man.”
My eyes widened and I couldn’t help but blurt out, “You killed someone?”
“Aha! I knew you were awake.” She laughed but it soon turned to a sad sigh. “I was pregnant with Leo, and let’s just say a whole load of drama was taking place, and in the midst of it was someone who killed the people closest to me.” She paused, and I shivered from the silence.
“Then he came for me. It was kill or be killed, and I chose me and Leo. I chose us. And I didn’t regret it, not even when the man’s dad got ahold of me and slit my throat.” The bed moved again, and her weight drifted, so I knew she’d stood up. “Pain is part of the process of life, Elodie. We all have it, but it’s important to deal with it and not push it aside. Feel everything you’re feeling and don’t be sorry for it, not even for a second.” Her footsteps echoed as she moved back. “I’m here if you need me. I’m only a call away.”
I nodded, hoping she could see me, and as soon as the door closed, I shut my eyes, and drifted off to a dreamland where nothing hurt and all that surrounded me were smiles. It wouldn’t last long before the memories and nightmare would ensue, but even a short while of happiness was better than none.
ASHER
My chains clinked as I shuffled down the hallway behind the row of other inmates from county jail. Each of us had cuffs around our ankles and wrists and were all attached to each other so no one could escape. People walked past us, their gazes anywhere but on us, and it was the first time I felt ashamed to be where I was. But as soon as the feeli
ng took me over, I pushed it aside. In their eyes I may have been a criminal, but in mine I was not. I’d protected someone I cared about, and there was no shame in that. None at all.
“In here,” one of the guards said as he unlocked the gate to an open square cell. We all filed in, and finally our attached chains were undone, but not our cuffs. Our cuffs stayed firmly in place, tight and unyielding. Several of the inmates scattered to find a seat in the cell on the two benches, but it left at least six of us with nowhere to sit.
“Hey! When do we get food!” one of the inmates shouted as the guard locked the gate, and my stomach rumbled in response. I hadn’t eaten since last night. It was Tuesday morning at the crack of dawn, and my body was rebelling against the awful goddamn food and lack of sunlight.
“When it comes,” the guard replied, no help whatsoever. He sneered and sauntered away, and I curled my lip in response.
“Dick,” the inmate spat, then moved to a corner and closed his eyes. There was no way I was letting myself become vulnerable in that way, so I stayed near the gate, waiting for my name to be called. A clock on the wall read 6:02 a.m. and I huffed out a breath. Court didn’t start until nine, so why the hell were we here so damn early? They’d ushered us onto a bus outside the county jail before it had even gotten light, and it had only taken minutes to arrive at the courthouse.
More inmates were brought in and packed into the cell like sardines, mixing our orange jumpsuits with their blue ones, and I felt uneasy about the entire situation. I hadn’t been able to talk to my dad last night because I’d run out of money on my number, and I didn’t want to do a collect call. All I could hope for was that I wasn’t going back to that fuckin’ place today.
“Easton, you’re up,” a guard barked out and opened the gate. Men shifted to the side to let me pass, and then the guard checked my chains were all in order. “You’re good,” he commented, led me out of the cell, and locked it up behind me. I had no idea where I was going, and I hadn’t even seen a lawyer yet. I wasn’t sure how the system worked, but Dad had told me this was just a bail hearing, so I wouldn’t need one. I just hoped he was right, and I wasn’t about to get fucked over.
Several gates were unlocked so we could go through them, then the walls changed. Gone was the dreary beige and in its place crisp white. The air smelled clearer and less…dirty. Finally, I was led through a wooden door and into the courtroom.
A judge sat at the bench, reading out another case, and I glanced around the room, hoping I recognized someone, but I didn’t, not until the very last seat on the farthest back bench. Dad’s gaze met mine and he gave nothing away in his dark eyes. Was he disappointed in me for being in the exact position he’d put people in his entire life? I didn’t regret what I’d done, but it didn’t mean I was proud to be wearing a jumpsuit and chains.
“Asher Easton,” a voice called.
The guard pushed me toward the lone table in front of the judge. People were milling about as officers shuffled inmates in and out of the room. It felt like constant rhythm of judgments being made, and I was just one in a very long line. I was a number to these people, not a person. I just hoped they didn’t judge me on the single act I'd committed, instead of everything I’d done in my life.
But wasn’t that what the man sitting higher than the rest was here for? He was here to make a snap decision on who I was and where I’d be going.
“Mr. Easton,” the judge started. “I have reviewed your case.” I pushed my shoulders back, trying not to let my nerves get the better of me. I had no idea what way this would go and having been held in county jail for three days, I was more than ready to get out of there. “I have a letter of recommendation here.” He held up a piece of paper and raised his brows. “And I am also aware you are a veteran.”
“I am, sir.”
He interlocked his fingers on the bench and leaned forward. “This is your first offense, and as such, I will be ordering your release on recognizance.” He paused, letting it sink in. “You agree to attend all court appearances and not engage in any illegal activity. Failure to adhere to these commands will cause your bail to be revoked and you will have to pay the bail amount of three thousand dollars. Your court date is set for six months from now. Stay out of trouble.”
I turned my head to look at my dad, but his gaze was fixated on the judge, listening intently. This meant I was getting out. I could go home. I could shower without a group of men on the other side of a flimsy curtain. I could see Elodie. My stomach dropped. I had no idea what state she was in, and I was afraid how I would find her. Would she be curled up in a ball, refusing to move? Or would she be pretending none of this happened as she tried to push through it all?
The judge banged his gavel down and I jumped at the sound. But no sooner was another name being called and the guard pulled me away. He led me back the way we came, but I didn’t take my attention off my dad. He turned his head to face me, and the quirk of his lips along with his slight nod told me he had my back. I’d never doubted it for a second, but what I had doubted was if I would get out of here or not. I had six months until I had to go back to court, but in that time, I could see my lawyer, and most importantly, see Elodie. We could deal with this together, if she let us. She was fiercely independent, and I was scared she’d try to be now too. She needed me, but I needed her too. There was no denying that.
The guard led me to a different cell with only a handful of people inside it. I had no idea how much longer I’d be kept here, but now that I knew I was going home, I was antsy, and wanted the time to go by as fast as possible but all it was doing was dragging at a snail’s pace. Then finally—fuckin’ finally—a guard opened up the cell and led us all out. I wasn’t sure where Dad was, and I wasn’t sure how much longer it would be until I was on my way home, but each moment which passed felt longer than the one before it.
I was done with having this orange jumpsuit on. Not only that, but I was goddamn starving. They put us back onto the bus we’d come here on, and once we were back in county jail, we were shoved back into the holding cells.
Several of the other guys spoke and each had a different ruling, but we were all getting out of here today. I bounced my knee up and down, needing it to happen quickly. But it didn’t. Each hour dragged into the next. I’d paced the length of the small cell and not moved my gaze from the area where they were booking people in and letting them out. Every person who was in the cell with me had been called, and now it was nearly 5 p.m. and—
A woman halted in front of the door, pushed the key inside the lock, then turned it to open it. “Asher Easton.” She huffed out a breath as if she was tired of waiting for me, yet it had only been a few seconds. “Come on, let’s go. Chop, chop.”
I wanted to quip something back at her, or even take my time walking out of the cell, but the reality was, I needed out of here as fast as I could. I needed to get to Elodie. I needed to check on her. I needed to be by her side every step of the way.
The woman shuffled over to one of the stations, and I went through the same routine as I’d watched the people before me go through. My name and number were read off, my county jail uniform was handed in, and I was passed the clothes I’d come in with. Spatters of blood were soaked into the fabric, and I wanted nothing more than to wear something different. But I didn’t have a choice, not right then anyway. Finally, I was given a slip to take to a counter on the other side of the main doors to collect the rest of my things. Each step I took was one closer to getting out of here, and when I eventually made it out into the waiting room, darkness funneled in through the floor-to-ceiling windows.