I didn’t regret it.
Sometimes, the stars aligned and fate set in. But fate was a funny thing that worked in twisted ways. I just hoped this ended well because the thought of her getting hurt—emotionally or physically—had me wanting to rip apart anyone who’d ever tried.
I pulled back, grinning down at her. “I’ll make some breakfast, and then we can talk.” She nodded in reply, so I jumped out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweats. We could pussyfoot around everything that was going on, but I’d never been that kind of man. I was straight to the point, preferring to get the awkwardness out of the way.
I brewed some coffee and got some eggs on the stove. Just as I was plating it all up with some toast, her footsteps padded through the apartment and stopped just inside the living room.
My gaze met hers, and I wasn’t sure what she was thinking. I could see she was nervous from the way she clutched her hands in front of her and worried her bottom lip. She stepped forward, a small smile on her face. I wanted to tell her something, anything, but the words were stuck in my throat as she sat down, pulling my T-shirt over her legs to cover her more.
“So…” I started when my plate was empty and my coffee half drank. “We should talk.”
Her audible breath flowed through me, and the slump of her shoulders had a frown forming. “Yeah.” She moved the eggs around on her plate and glanced at me. “We probably shouldn’t have done that last night, huh?” The sadness in her voice had me moving out of my seat and crouching next to her.
“Lola.” My palm cupped her knee, her soft skin hitting every nerve ending in my body. She was vulnerable, in a position I shouldn’t have taken advantage of, but fuck if I could walk away now. The right thing to do would be to tell her she was right, to abandon what we did, and just do my fuckin' job. But even as I thought it, I knew I couldn’t. There was no way I could turn my back on her, especially after last night. “We probably shouldn’t have.”
Her eyes glazed over, and it just about tore me apart. I’d watched her take Hut’s bullshit, witnessed people at parties sneer at her or try to be her best friend, but I’d never seen her look utterly heartbroken.
“I know, it’s my fa—”
I gripped her knee harder and shook my head. “No, let me finish.” She dropped her fork on the plate, the clang echoing around us. “I said we probably shouldn’t have, but fuck if I can be around you and not touch you again.” I pulled in a deep breath, trying to get control of my words in case I spat out a load of random shit. “I don’t regret what we did last night.”
“You don’t?” Her smile started out small and became bigger when I shook my head. “But what about Hut?”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her we had bigger problems than him, but I couldn’t voice them—not yet anyway. “What about him?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
“He’ll kill you,” she whispered. “He won’t let us…” She cringed, but I could guess the words that would have come after. She was doubting herself. Me. Us. I couldn’t blame her.
“Look.” I spread my fingers over her knee, the tips stroking her thigh. “I know there’s probably a long list of why we shouldn’t do this. I’m sixteen years older than you for starters.” She pursed her lips, but I could tell it was to hold in her grin. “But fuck, darlin', I can’t walk away. I want to see where this thing goes.” I held my breath and expelled it. “What about you?”
She moved her arm and placed her hand on my face, her fingers rubbing through the scruff that was lined there. “I’ve never had this feeling before.”
“What feeling?” I croaked out. She was bringing me to my knees, and there wasn’t a thing I wanted to do to stop it.
“Like I can’t breathe without you.” Her chest lifted, and she stuttered out a breath. “I don’t understand what is happening between us, but maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe, for once in my life, I should listen to my heart and not my head.”
“What’s your head telling you?” I asked, trailing my fingers higher on her thigh and dipping them under the edge of my boxer briefs she wore.
“To walk away. You’re going to destroy my plans.” She looked over my shoulder and stared. “Plans I’ve had for years.” I tilted my head, wondering what she was saying, but I didn’t have to wait long. She met my stare again, her hand dropping from my face. “I’ve been trying to get out. Shit, I shouldn’t be telling you this.” She stood so quick that I almost lost my balance. “You’re one of his guys.” She threw her hands up in the air and paced the length of the living room as I stood. “Forget I said anything,” she stammered. “Just...forget it.”
I stepped toward her, not giving her the space she wanted, and cupped her face. My fingers wove into her hair, but I wouldn’t let her look away. “No.” I shook my head. “You don’t do that, not with me.” I waited until she looked at me. “If we do this—figure out what is happening between us—then you don’t have to hide from me. I may be in Hut’s crew, but you come first.”
“I don’t believe you. I can’t let myself break apart.” She closed her eyes, her voice lowering. “And you have the power to do that, Brody. You can tear me apart more than anyone else.” She
opened her eyes and tried to step back, but I followed, not willing to let her go. “Why did you have to come here? Why do you have to be...you? Shit!”
“I won’t apologize for being here, darlin'.” I shrugged and stepped closer, bringing our bodies flush. “And I won’t apologize for feeling the way I do. You’re not the only one thinking these things, trust me. I shouldn’t be touching you, I really shouldn’t, but nothing is gonna stop me.”
She leaned her forehead against my chest, her breath fanning along my skin. “I need to get out of that house.” I didn’t say anything. Instead, I let her work through her thoughts. “I’ve been trying for so long.” She pulled back, laying her palms on my chest, one covering my thumping heart at being so close to her. “I go to college and work all the hours I can. I'm...I’m saving up to get out of there.”
“Why?” One word, one lonely word, but I knew it wouldn’t be easy for her to answer. At least, I didn’t think it would be.
“Because he’s a dick.” Her lips quirked. “For real, he’s not the same Emerson I met when my dad moved us in. He’s changed. He’s angrier, and frankly, he’s starting to scare the shit out of me. And don’t even get me started on his business.” She raised her brow, silently telling me what I knew she was thinking. The drugs. The violence. The parties.
“So you want out of the house?” I asked carefully.
“I don’t just want it.” Her stare met mine. “I need it. If I don’t get out now, I’ll still be there in ten years.”
“I can help,” I told her, knowing I’d do anything to get her away from Hut and his crew, no matter what it’ll do for the investigation.