Down Fall (Fallen Duet 2)
Page 19
My eyes widened, and my hand immediately fluttered over my stomach. It was him. Brody.
“I know you’re in there.” He banged on the door again.
I flung myself out of bed, running into my living room and staring at the door like it would fly off its hinges any moment. I couldn’t let him in. I couldn’t see him, not right now. It was bad enough that he’d lied to me, but things had changed.
“Please, darlin', let me in. It’s important.” There was a pause and then his voice lowered. “Hut knows you’re gone, he’s trying to look for you. I just…I just need to know you’re safe.”
I didn’t know how I’d taken the few steps to the front door, but I’d drifted there without even knowing it. I willed my hand not to flick the lock and open the door, but it did it anyway. “Brody.” My voice was a mere whisper, but the look in his eyes told me he’d heard me loud and clear.
“Can I come in?”
I didn’t know what to say or what to do, so I stepped back to let him inside. His face was covered in a couple of days’ stubble, and the bags under his eyes told a story of little sleep. But it was the way his dark-brown eyes flashed over my whole body that had me shuddering.
He closed the door, the click loud in the otherwise silent room. “I needed to see you were okay.”
His words set something off inside me, and I dived at him, flinging my arms around his neck and pushing my face into his shoulder. He gripped me so hard I was sure he’d never let me go. I shouldn’t have touched him.
I shouldn’t have let him inside. But I couldn’t stop myself. My brain was a jumble of warring thoughts, but the one clearer than all the rest was that I needed him right now. I needed his arms around me, the security I felt when he was next to me.
My hands drifted to his arms, and I pulled back, my chest hitting his on each breath. His dark eyes met mine, and they promised me things I shouldn’t have wanted from him. They promised to keep me safe. But it was the way they
flicked down to my lips that had my mind made up. I wanted what I wanted, and for once in my life, I was going to take it, consequences be damned.
I dived for his lips.
Nothing else mattered when we were touching, and that was part of the problem. We hadn’t cared about anyone else or the hurt we could cause, and right then, I couldn’t bring myself to care either. When Brody was around, I felt whole, like a full circle with its ends meeting.
Brody’s body shuddered as I ran my tongue over his lips and he pulled away, holding me at arm’s length.
“What—”
“I don’t want this.” The dark brown in his eyes turned almost black as he stared at me, not one flicker of any emotions showcased there. He’d shut me out, blocked me from seeing any truth he’d shown me only a few minutes ago. “I don’t want you.”
My pulse thrummed harder than it ever had before, and my shoulders sagged. Was it possible to break apart piece by piece until I completely evaporated? Because that was what was happening.
“You don’t...” My voice cracked, and I willed it to sound strong. “You don’t want me?” Tears came to the surface of my eyes, and no matter how much I forbid them to come forward, they wouldn’t listen to me. His gaze followed a lone teardrop as it tracked down my cheek, but I didn’t move it. I let it trail all the way down to my chin where it unceremoniously dropped onto my chest.
“No,” his rough voice answered. He let me go and backed away another step, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans, his posture screaming like this was an everyday conversation.
But it wasn’t.
He was shattering everything we’d had over the last couple of months with only a few syllables. How could your world change so much in the space of such little time and few words? I’d been a fool to think he came here for me. He'd come here for himself. He probably wanted to make sure I wouldn’t talk, that I wouldn’t tell anyone exactly who he was.
“But”—I swallowed and stepped forward—“what about what we had?”
A muscle in his jaw jumped as he tensed. “It was the job. You know who I am and what I do. I was there to take Hut down and—”
“I love you.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. I desperately wanted to throw my palm over my mouth and take them back, but they were out there now, ready for the world to hear—ready for Brody to listen to.
His eyes flared as his lips parted. “I love you, too.” He pulled his hands out of his pockets and framed my face. His smooth palms slid over my cheeks, his thumbs rubbing back and forth on the wetness that marred my soft flesh.
This was it. This was where our lives would change forever. It wouldn’t be easy to be together, I knew that more than anything, but when two people loved the way we did, it was only natural to need to be together.
I gazed into his eyes, searching for the promises I hoped he would make. It wouldn’t matter what he said, all I wanted was him. “Brody, I—”
“But it’s not enough.”
The words echoed around us, batting off the walls with the same force a bat hit a baseball before it flew out of the stadium. My breath caught, my pulse slowing down as my heart skipped a beat. It felt the loss before I could register what he meant.