“I know.”
The rough pad of his thumb was nearly as distracting as his bare chest. I needed to stop seeing him like this, to stop thinking about him. I was broken. I wasn’t good enough for him, I wasn’t good enough for anyone.
Maybe I was meant to be with Max, he always said that I needed to be taught how to behave. At least I stayed in line with him. At least I had tried to stay in line.
“You want to talk about it?”
“Not really,” I looked away.
“It’s just me Kay.”
If I told him what I dreamed about, what actually happened that day, then he wouldn’t look at me the same.
I’ve told so many lies that sometimes I couldn’t tell the difference between the truth and the lies that I told. How was I supposed to tell someone that you were so far gone that nothing would be able to bring you back from the brink.
“I see him,” I hadn’t meant to say that but it came out anyway.
“Max?” his hand stilled, I moved my eyes back to his watching as they flashed in anger.
“Yes.”
“When have you seen him?” he gritted out.
I looked down at my arm concentrating on his hand.
“Every time I close my eyes.” I followed the path that his veins made all the way up his arm and to his neck.
Silence weighed heavy in the room shifting in the bed I cleared my throat.
“But you-”
I shouldn’t have said anything. The one time I try and tell the truth and he doesn’t believe me.
“Just forget it.” I lay down and pulled the covers up to my neck.
“I thought you were sleeping. You did when-”
I rolled over and squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn’t look at him anymore.
“That’s why you slept with Eli? Have you been getting any sleep?”
I stayed silent, maybe if I was quiet long enough he’d think I’d fallen back to sleep.
He was quiet for so long that I almost did fall asleep. My eyes were like sandpaper and I didn’t think I could keep them open much longer, with Ty in the room I could relax.
Even though he had me on edge for completely different reasons, the image of his bare chest was scorched into my brain. But knowing that he was in the room with me made me feel protected as if Max couldn’t get to me if he was here.
The bed shifted and my eyes sprung open, he was about to leave. Looked like I wouldn’t be getting anymore sleep tonight.
“Mind if I stay?” he said and lay down next to me.
I turned my head raising my brows. He was laid on his back above the covers, hands behind his head.
I swallowed shaking my head.
“Good,” he smiled, closing my eyes. “Now go to sleep.” His mouth was still kicked up in a grin, my own lips spread to match his.
I rolled over and closed my eyes. The only person I dreamed of this time was Ty and his bare chest.