“It was nothing. It’ll never happen again,” I say, waving my hand in the air and watching as baby carries a watermelon.
Jess had said that the best hangover cure was a tub of ice-cream and a movie afternoon so dirty dancing came out and we snuggled on the couch sharing a blanket.
“Say what? How do you know that? He could be head over heels for you!”
Snorting, I roll my eyes at her. “Yeah, not likely. He still sees me as that broken girl from two years ago.”
Grabbing the remote, Jess presses pause and turns dramatically to me. “Girl... if you knew how absolutely stunning you are.” Shaking her head, she clicks her tongue at me. “He’d be crazy not to want you.”
I chew on my bottom lip, contemplating what she said. Could he like me?
I know that I like him, the butterflies that take flight when I think about him or when I’m near him tell me that. But would it even work?
“I can see you over thinking... Stop.” She points at me and lifts up off the couch, wandering over to the table that sits in the corner with my cell on charge.
Picking it up, she hands it to me and raises a brow. “Message him.”
“What?” I squeak and pull my blanket tighter around me.
“You need to go on a date with him. You’ll never know what could happen if you don’t at least try it. Just this once.”
“No.” Shaking my head, I lift up off the couch and stare at my cell like it’s an alien. “I can’t do it... I won’t.”
I hear her huffing at me as I walk out of the room and back to my bedroom.
Rejection scares me. I’ve gone through it so many times that I know I won’t be able to handle it again. Especially not from him.
He’s was my anchor at a time that I needed someone the most and I would always be grateful for that but I can’t help wonder if it’s even a good idea to be doing anything like this.
Maybe we should just go our separate ways? Just be friends.
He’ll always be a reminder of that time in my life when I was a shell of a girl and I’m starting to think it’s better for everyone if I just leave it alone and try to forget about him.
Flopping down onto my bed, I bury my head into the pillow. Jess is right, I am over thinking everything.
If something is meant to happen between us, then it will... eventually. I don’t need to go out on a limb and ask him out.
Besides, I have a feeling that he wouldn’t want me to make the first move anyway. That’s how most men work right?
I’m clueless, I have no idea what I should or shouldn’t do.
Scribbling down what the lecturer, Thomas, is saying on Monday morning has become a skill that I’m mastering. He always talks so quickly that most people have taken to recording the whole thing on their cells. To me, that’s twice the work and I’m not going to do that to myself.
Slamming my notebook closed, I look up as people start to file out of the room and I stay behind, needing to talk to Thomas about our assignment.
It doesn’t go unnoticed that this is another thing I wouldn’t have done two months ago. See? I’m getting better.
“Can I talk to you about the assignment?” I ask as I come down the stairs to the podium that he stands by. His dirty blond hair is slicked back again today and although his dark blue eyes hold kindness, there’s still something about him; the way he looks at me sometimes creeps me out. I can’t put my finger on it and he hasn’t done anything to me so I let it go, not wanting to think too much about it.
“Sure... walk and talk?” he asks, grabbing his messenger bag and flashing his wide smile at me.
“Erm... yeah, okay,” I say just above a whisper, clutching onto the strap of my own bag.
We walk out of the room and through the front doors as I ask him what I need to include in the assignment. He fills me in on what he expects and what sort of things I need to research, finishing just as we get to the bottom of the steps.
Turning to face him, I offer him a slight smile as a thank you and I’m about to say bye when his hand reaches out and touches my arm.
I swallow at the look in his eyes as he stares at me, his mouth pulling up on one side as he steps closer.