“It’s up to you, honey, you can come back to mine or go back to your apartment-”
“Stay at mine,” Corey interrupts.
I chew on my bottom lip and look away, not wanting to tell him that I really just want to be on my own.
When I don’t answer either of them, he steps forward and cups my face in his hands, ignoring my flinch.
“Don’t pull away from me,” he pleads. “We’re in this together. Me and You, remember?”
“But-”
“Nope.” He shakes his head vehemently and even steps closer, his body making me wince. “I’m not letting you pull away. I’ve waited two fuckin’ years for this and I’m not letting you go.”
I stare into his eyes, my breath catching in my throat at what I see reflected back at me and I have no choice but to agree.
If I need to fake it until I make it, then that’s what I’ll do.
I don’t know what I expected when we came home because Ava was so hard to read w
hile she was in the hospital, she was stilted and stuck in her own head.
Once we were back at the apartment, she seemed to settle down; she didn’t hide away like I thought she might. In fact, she was so normal that is was unnerving at times.
Daley told me that I needed to be careful, to watch out for any signs that she was going into another episode but I ignored him, thinking I knew best.
She was getting better; she even went out to the store yesterday.
We were going to be fine, everything was fine.
Rolling over, I stretch my arm out and crack my eyes open as I feel the cold empty space beside me. The bright red numbers on the alarm clock read just after two a.m. and I sit up, trying to work out where Ava is in the apartment.
Hearing the water running, I lift up out of bed and stretch my arms over my head, padding down the hallway to the bathroom.
“Ava?” I ask, knocking on the door lightly.
I wait... and wait... and wait.
When she doesn’t answer, I put my ear to the door.
Her sobs are so guttural that it makes me rub at my chest, almost as if I can feel the physical pain.
Pushing the door open slowly, I look inside the small space for her.
“Corey?” she whispers, her voice so raw and broken that it guts me.
Her knees are up to her chest as she sits in the tub with the spray from the shower washing over her. I can see where she’s rubbed her skin so much that in places it’s broken and bleeding.
“Baby?” I move forward slowly, careful not to spook her.
She shakes her head, another guttural sob coming out as she picks up the sponge and starts to scrub at her skin again. “I can’t get him off me!” she cries out.
Stepping into the tub, I sit down and pull her back against my chest, wrapping my arms around her and covering her hand with mine, rocking us back and forth; trying to soothe her.
“Let me,” I whisper into her ear once she’s calmed down a little, taking the sponge out of her hand and pumping some body wash onto it.
I wash her, gently, careful not to aggravate the broken skin. I lather up the soap as I whisper into her ear that he’s gone, that I’m here and I’m not going nowhere.
“He’s not.” She shakes her head, her sobs subsiding the longer I hold her. “He’ll always be right here.” She taps her head and turns her body to face me. “He took something from me, Corey, something I’m scared I’ll never get back.”