I take a deep breath, my brows pulling down into a frown. The squeak of his chair has my breath stuttering and then I hear his footsteps ge
t closer, but I don’t move, I wait, uncertain what is really happening here. Hell, I don’t even know what’s going on in my own mind right now.
“Stay with me,” he whispers.
His hand rubs up my back and over my shoulder then down my good arm and to the hand that rests on the doorknob.
“Are you sure?” I whisper back, afraid to talk too loud.
“Yeah.” He moves even closer, his front to my back and wraps his arms around me, burying his face into my neck and kissing the space between where it meets my shoulder.
I close my eyes, leaning back against him and basking in the feel of being wrapped in him. I’ve only ever felt safe while I’m in his arms. No one else has ever made me feel like this and it’s why I stay, even if it means I only get a part of him and not all of him, because having that small part is better than nothing.
“Okay,” I say, turning in his arms.
He smiles and it changes his whole face. That smile has become my whole world over the last few years.
I lift up onto my tiptoes and press my lips against his softly. He pulls me closer, deepening the kiss and running his tongue over my lips before I open my mouth, giving him access to all of me. He swipes his tongue against mine and grips my waist harder, but it ends all too soon and he’s pulling away, grabbing his keys off his desk and pulling me through the door before I know what’s happening.
We walk through the precinct and past the woman at the desk who wouldn’t let me in earlier, I don’t miss the sneer on her face as we walk by hand in hand, but I don’t let it bother me. He helps me into his SUV, jogs around to his side and jumps in, reversing out of the lot and taking my hand in his as he drives.
I can’t help but watch him as he maneuvers the car. There’s something so sexy about the way that he grips the wheel with one hand as he leans his elbow against the door, his other hand gripping mine. The way his legs move as he presses on the pedals, his thighs tensing and untensing.
My teeth bite into my bottom lip at the thoughts running through my head. It’s been awhile since we had sex and I’m definitely needing it again. I’m not some sex fiend, but holy mother of God, he’s sex personified and he doesn’t even try to be sexy. It’s just how he is.
The streetlights illuminate his face as we drive past them, giving him a look of darkness, of terror that I’ve never seen before. Something has happened today, something that has affected him and my mouth opens to ask him what’s wrong but closes again, my mind catching up and thinking better of it.
Working for Ty at MAC Security means that I’ve seen a lot of evil. I’ve witnessed people get tortured, shot, hurt, raped. I’ve seen so much, but I know that what we try to do at MAC is good; we try to catch the bad guys that the cops can’t because the case is inactive, or they can’t get the evidence they need to get a conviction. It doesn’t mean they can’t get it, just that they can’t get it in the right way, the legal way.
The itch to get back to work is there, I want to get back to helping people, to getting people off the streets that no-one else can. I just need my arm to fully heal so I can get back to doing what I do best, so that I can stop taking the pills.
I’m good at what I do, I know that.
I was brought up to be arm candy, to be someone’s wife, to help someone achieve their political goals, but I never wanted to be that. I wanted to be my own person. I wanted to help people, I wanted to be somebody. I became that, but since I’ve been shot I can feel it slowly dwindling away. I’m becoming somebody else, someone who I said I’d never be, but I can’t see a way out.
“You hungry?”
I blink at Charlie, my brain taking a while to register what he just said. “Yeah, I could eat.”
“Good.” He winks, pulling into Wendy’s and jumping out of the car.
I watch as he walks inside, my eyes not moving from him.
The roar of an engine gains my attention and my head whips around, seeing the tail end of a car and my pulse skyrockets. That was Jonny I’m almost sure of it, I wouldn’t forget his car, it’s one of a kind.
With everything else going on I completely forgot about Jonny, he knows who I am now and what I was doing when I was undercover. Even though he was a job, I spent a lot of time with him and he made sure I was protected. He became a friend and I can’t help the guilt that claws its way up my throat at not being honest with him about everything.
“Ahh!” I screech as the door opens and my hand flies to my chest.
“It’s just me, Kitty Kat.”
“Sorry,” I breathe out. “Was stuck inside my own head.”
He chuckles at me and hands me the food, the warmth warming my legs to the point where it feels like it’s burning them. I place it down onto the floor and lean back as Charlie pulls out of the lot. I’m on edge and the bottle of pills in my pocket is the only thing that’s making me feel any kind of relief.
“You okay?” Charlie asks when he stops at a red light.
“My arm is hurting, I need to take my painkillers.”