“Huh?” I look over at Charlie, his hand extended toward mine. I move my eyes to his, watching as the light hits the chocolate brown causing the lighter parts to twinkle at me.
“You coming to eat?” he asks, grinning at me.
“Oh, yeah.” I clear my throat and spin around, climbing back down the ropes to join my family.
Stay calm, Kitty. Stay calm. It’ll be okay, you’ve met them before. But not as his girlfriend.
My knee bobs up and down uncontrollably as we drive to Charlie’s ma and dad’s, and I’m sure that I’m gonna throw up any moment now.
“Chill,” Charlie tells me, resting his hand on my thigh, but it does nothing
to stop my nerves from exploding throughout my body.
“I can’t,” I moan, resting my head in my hands.
He’ll never understand what it’s like because he’ll never meet my parents.
The trees go by in a blur as he pulls up to the huge house with a wraparound porch. I’ve been told stories about this place but I’ve never been here and I’ll be the first to admit that it’s intimidating.
His ma stands on the porch, waving frantically as Charlie brings the car to a stop. I wipe my sweaty palms down my thighs and jump down from the SUV at the same time that Charlie does. He walks around to me and wraps his arm around my shoulders.
“Stop panicking,” he whispers in my ear.
“Kitty! I’m so glad you’re here!” His ma runs down the steps and wraps her arms around me.
I stand there, static and not able to move as she squeezes me harder.
“Ma, let her go.”
“Oh, shush!” She waves him away then takes me by the arm and leads me into the house. “So, Kitty. You work for Tyson, right?”
“Yes, ma’am,”
She snorts and says, “None of this ma’am stuff.” Walking me into the living room with Charlie on our tail. “It’s Elena.”
“Right, sorry.” I clear my throat. “Elena.” God, I sound so awkward right now.
“Would you like something to drink?”
“Water please,” I say, my throat dry. I can’t do this, I can’t do this. “Can I use your bathroom?”
“Of course, you can! Down the hall, third door on the left.” She points the way.
“Thanks.”
I give Charlie a quick smile and rush down the hallway, opening the door and locking it behind me, pressing my back against it and trying to catch my breath.
I’ve thought about this day for years now, wishing it would come and now that it’s here, I can’t handle it. It’s too much, it’s too real.
My hand flutters to my pocket and I pull out my bottle, my shaking hands making me drop it on the floor. I gasp and scramble down, my knees smacking on the tiles as I pick it up and pop the top, pouring the last two pills into the palm of my hand.
I stand up on shaky legs, turning the tap on and cupping my hand under the running water so that I can swallow my pills. I wipe my face dry of the water that splashed me in my haste and look up into the mirror, hating the woman staring back at me. I stumble back, my ass landing on the closed toilet seat as I let my head drop into my hands.
Why did I do that? Not only do I now have no pills left but I’ve failed yet again. It’s not even the failing that makes me feel so bad, it’s knowing that I don’t have any pills left. What am I meant to do now?
I have to get out of here. I can’t be here like this.
“Kitty?” I squeal at the sound of Charlie’s voice and the knock at the door. “Let me in.”