Etching Our Way (Broken Tracks 1)

“Oh, Ed? He’s Tristan’s driver.” I roll my eyes. “He used to drive us around when…”

She nods knowing what I was going to say before walking out of the living room. “We have to get going, I’ll be waiting in the car.”

“Huh?” What does she mean?

“Get your shoes on, we’ve got babies to cuddle.”

She didn’t give me the option to say no this time and now I’m here, I don’t know why I haven’t ever come before. How do moms know exactly what you need, when you need it? I guess it’s instinct, but this right here has both warmed my soul and broken my heart at the same time. It’s put perspective on things.

I look down at the tiny baby boy in my arms. His pink-colored skin looks like silk to the touch and his lips pucker as I run a finger over his cheek, finding my thoughts to be true. This tiny human is perfect, yet someone chose to destroy his first moments and a chance at life.

I feel the tremors shake his body; he’s addicted to heroin and going through the motions of withdrawal. It’s not fair that this little life should have to pay for his birth mother’s bad choices, but that’s the reality of it.

Mom smiles over at me, a sad look in her eyes. “It’s bittersweet, isn’t it?”

I nod, my eyes misting over with unshed tears. “It’s not fair. How are irresponsible people given the chance to become parents, when there’s women and men out there that are so desperate, but can’t?” My gaze travels over his tiny features. “Look at him. How is it possible that someone could be so reckless?”

“Generally, the addicts don’t bond with the baby or click that it is a real life they’re growing inside of them. Their addiction is too far gone to realize the damage that they’re doing,” a nurse interjects.

“Damage?” I ask, my face screwing up.

She nods, a sad expression on her face. “Apart from having to wean them off the substance they’re addicted to and dealing with the shakes, tremors, and need to have the particular substance, most are born prematurely or with defects, and they’re the problems that we can initially find out. The lasting effects will come later in life, if they survive.”

The information she’s reeled off makes me feel like she’s torn my heart out, and I feel the tears spring ever closer to the surface, threatening to fall. “If they survive?”

“The first few weeks are vital, but they’re the ones that aren’t allowed out with special people like you, they need constant care. These little guys…” She points around her to all the incubators “Aren’t out of the danger zone yet, but they’re getting there.”

A sudden need to protect the baby in my arms washes over me and I pull him into my body, trying to make him feel safe.

“Try not to get too attached. I know that it’s hard, but it helps hand them back at the end of the day.” The nurse must’ve noticed my body language.

I smile at her as I sit in the armchair beside the one Mom is sitting in. “I don’t know how you haven’t got a house full of babies by now. I want to take them all home.”

She chuckles. “It gets easier, I felt the same when I first sta

rted out.”

I hesitate before asking, “Do you think I should make this a regular thing?”

“It’s helped patch up my broken heart since your father passed, so I know this will heal your soul, Harmony. What you do at that studio is amazing, but this, this will help dull the pain you hold in your heart. I promise.”

I nod at her and lean back, laying the five pound, six ounce baby across my chest, my arms wrapped around him, determined to stop anything from ever hurting him again.

My office door pushes open, banging off the wall and echoing around the room. I whip my head up at the intrusion, a frown marring my face when I see who it is.

“Nate,” I growl, not wanting him in my office. I haven’t seen him since Izzie’s dance recital.

“Tris.” He walks inside, heading for the whiskey that sits in the crystal decanter on the table next to the leather sofa. “It feels like it’s been forever.”

“It’s been a couple of weeks,” I answer him, gritting my teeth and watching him through narrowed eyes.

Nate and I have been friends since we started college, in fact, he was the first one to spot Harmony all of those years ago before she dropped paint all over me. There was only three of us back then: Nate, Natalia, and me. That is until Harmony joined our group.

He’s changed a lot since the college days: his once long and wild brown hair is now cut short at the sides and a little longer on the top, not a strand out of place, and his suit is tailored to perfection compared to the skinny jeans he used to wear.

He was once the guy on campus who was into anything and everything, wanting to take things to the extreme: rock climbing, surfing; but not like your average person. He always wanted to climb the steepest rock faces and ride the biggest waves. Now he’s a shark in the courtroom and on permanent retainer for both me personally and the company. Although I’m thinking of changing that; the less I have to do with him now, the better.

I watch as he pours us both a glass of the amber liquid before heading over to the sofas and holding one out to me.