He bends at the waist and kisses me on the cheek. “Merry Christmas, Lia. I know this isn’t what you were expecting to wake up to, but you said you weren’t leaving the house. Not that people couldn’t come here.”
Gritting my teeth, I push my chair back, creating some distance between us. “I can’t believe you did this.”
Twirling around, I go back toward the bedroom, shaking my head and hating how he’s twisted my words. I told him I didn’t want to celebrate this year, that I didn’t want to leave the house, and he’s taken that and turned it on its head completely. Getting a tree and decorating the house was enough celebrating for me.
His footsteps sound behind me as I go into the bedroom, moving to the closet as I yank clothes out.
“You’re mad.” It’s not a question.
“Hell yeah, I’m mad!” I shout, not willing to look at him as I gather the things I need to change into, placing them on my lap. “You twisted what I said, Nate. I get you pushing me to leave the house instead of wallowing, but this is a step too far.”
Wheeling past him, I’m halted as he puts his hands on the handles, stopping me from entering the bathroom.
“I wanted us to have Christmas surrounded by everyone we love.” He pauses when the doorbell rings and my eyes widen.
“Who else is coming?” I ask. When he doesn’t answer, I huff out a breath. “There’s a reason I didn’t want to do this today.” I swallow against the lump forming in my throat, lowering my voice. “This isn’t Christmas.”
He kneels in front of me and tips my head so I’m looking at him. “I’m sorry. I thought you’d be happy when you saw everyone.”
Shaking my head, I swipe at my face. “It’s not about the people. It’s what Christmas is.” Closing my eyes, I try not to think of the memories of every Christmas I can remember, but it’s no use. “It’s baking cookies and cooking Christmas dinner, setting the table and putting the angel on the top of the tree. It’s watching a movie in the afternoon, so stuffed you feel like you can’t move; your legs curled up underneath you.” I pause, opening my eyes back up. “It’s kneeling in front of the tree and handing everyone’s presents out… it’s… it’s being able to use my legs.”
His gaze bats between my eyes. “You don’t need your legs to do any of that stuff. If you want to help me and Mom cook, then come and do that. You want to bake? Go right ahead. You need to get out of your head and stop thinking your life is over.”
“It’s not the same,” I murmur. “It’s just… not the same.”
I can’t stop the tear from leaking out onto my cheek and he wipes it away before gathering me in his arms. “It won’t be the same, but it’s our kind of Christmas.” He pauses a beat. “When have I ever done anything the same as everyone else?”
I slowly nod, pulling away as he cups each side of my face. “Okay,” I whisper. “Okay.” Swallowing, I try to gather myself. “Let’s do our kind of Christmas.”
Standing up, he plants a soft kiss on my lips before stepping back. “That’s my girl. I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re ready to come out.”
I watch him walk out, staring at the door for a beat before moving into the bathroom, hearing the doorbell go again and then Izzie’s excited voice as she shouts, “Merry Christmas!”
My heart beats wildly in my chest at the sound of her voice. I haven’t seen neither her nor Clay since the day I walked into Tris’s house and Phoebe was there.
Moving closer to the shower, I switch it on, wheeling my chair to the shower seat and heaving myself onto it after placing my clothes onto the small unit next to it.
I make quick work of the shower, drying myself off and getting dressed. What used to take me ten minutes now takes more like thirty because of all the extra things I have to do.
Finally wheeling myself over to the vanity Nate has had lowered, I dry my hair before looking in the mirror.
My face has filled back out since coming home from the hospital, and the lost look that was reflected in my eyes is now gone.
Knocking on the door has my head whipping around, and Harmony shouts, “Hey, Amelia! Nate said yo
u were in here, I was wondering if you could show me how to make those cookies the kids like.” Her soft tinkle of laughter sounds through the door and I move toward it, opening it and causing her to stumble. “I can’t ever seem to get them right,” she says, a genuine smile on her face.
“I’d love to show you,” I answer, smiling wide and wheeling beside her back into the main room.
“Amelia!”
My eyes search for the voice, and when I see Izzie running at me, I grin. Her red dress sparkles off the lights that are strung around the living room, a headband with a reindeer head attached to it sitting on her head. My eyes open wide when she comes to a stop a foot away from me, hesitation in her eyes.
“Hey,” I whisper, curling my fingers at her. “Come here.”
Her blue-eyed gaze meets mine before she turns to look at someone. Turning my gaze toward where she’s looking, I spot Tris holding—a baby? “Daddy said I need to be careful,” she whispers, turning back toward me.
I narrow my eyes at Tris before leaning forward. “You better get inside these arms before I have to tickle you,” I warn.