Jacob Have I Loved

“Because they’re not married,” I said. If I weren’t more careful my voice alone would give me away. I cleared my throat and said as steadily as I could, “People who are not married do not live together.”

She laughed. “It’s not as if they’d want to do anything. My gosh, they’re both too old to bother with that.”

I was so hot all over at the suggestion of the Captain doing something that I could hardly breathe.

“Well?” Obviously she wanted some comment from me.

“It doesn’t matter,” I muttered. “It’s how it looks. People don’t think it looks right for people who aren’t married to live together in the same house.”

“Well, if people are going to be that way, they should just get married.”

“What?” I swung my legs over the side of the bed and sat bolt upright.

“Sure,” she said calmly, as though she were explaining a math problem. “What difference would it make? They should just get married and shut everybody up.”

“Suppose he doesn’t want to marry a crazy old woman?”

“He doesn’t have to do anything, silly. They’d just—”

“Will you shut up about doing things? You have got the filthiest mind. All you can think about is doing things.”

“Wheeze. I was talking about not doing anything. It would be a marriage of convenience.”

“That’s not the same.” I’d read more than she had and knew about these things.

“Well, a marriage in name only.” She grinned at me. “Like that better?”

“No. It’s terrible. It’s peculiar. And don’t you even suggest it. It will make him think we’re peculiar, too.”

“It will not. He knows us better than that.”

“If you mention it to him, I’ll kill you.”

She shrugged me off. “You will not. Honestly, Wheeze, what’s got into you?”

“Nothing. It’s just that he might w

ant to marry someone else. How would it be if we made him marry Auntie Braxton and then later on, too late, he finds he’s really in love with someone else?”

“What on earth have you been reading, Wheeze? In the first place, if you don’t count Grandma, who’s really nuts, and Widow Johnson, who still worships the image of her sainted captain, and Call’s grandma, who’s too fat, there is no one else. In the second place, we can’t make him do anything. He’s a grown man.”

“Well, I think it’s filthy even to suggest it.”

She stood up, choosing to ignore my comment. At the door she listened for what might be going on downstairs and then, apparently satisfied that all was quiet, turned to me. “Come on,” she said. “If you want to.”

I jumped off my bed. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m going to get Call.”

“Why?” I knew why.

“The three of us are going to see the Captain.”

“Please stop it, Caroline. It’s none of your business. You hardly even know him.” I was trying to force my voice to remain calm with the result that all the unreleased shrieks were clogging my throat.

“I do know him, Wheeze. And I care about what happens to him.”

“Why? Why do you always try to take over everybody else’s life?” I thought I might strangle on the words.