For 100 Reasons (100 3)

He nods, cupping my face. His glance strays to the vanity counter, where I’ve laid a few pieces of jewelry I plan to wear today. One of those pieces is a diamond encrusted gold-and-platinum watch. One that carries a price tag I could never afford, not even now.

A look of mild surprise—and pleasure—lights the gaze that swings back to me. “You still have the watch I gave you in Paris.”

“I still have it.”

The stunning Cartier watch was on my wrist the day I left Nick’s flat, devastated after learning how he’d orchestrated our meeting in the beginning and perpetuated the lie for the entire time we’d been together. It was the only thing I took from him when I left Paris, and only because I didn’t realize the expensive gift was still clamped around my wrist until I was standing in the security line at the airport on my way back to the States.

“I haven’t worn it since Paris. I couldn’t.”

He nods as if he already knew that. Of course, he knows. He understands me better than anyone.

“You were going to wear it for me today?”

“Yes.”

He picks it up, silent as he contemplates the jewels that glitter on the watch’s face. Then he carefully places it on my wrist the same way he did that morning on the rooftop terrace of his flat.

“I wanted Paris to be our new start,” he says as he fastens the delicate clasp. He slowly shakes his head. “I wasn’t ready then. I wanted to reset the clock, but I wasn’t prepared to be the man you need. I knew I couldn’t be the man you deserve, Avery. I’m not sure I’ll ever be what you deserve.”

“That’s not something you can decide, Nick.” I ease my arm out of his grasp and get up from the chair. “What I deserve is up to me to decide. But I know what I want. There’s only one man I need, and I’m looking at him.”

“Avery.” He utters my name on a quiet breath and draws me into his arms. His kiss is tender but deep, his tongue licking into my mouth even though I can feel the barely restrained hunger that vibrates through his powerful body.

“I love you,” he murmurs against my lips. “Fuck, Avery. Don’t ever leave me again.”

I close my eyes as the harshly whispered demand skates hotly against my cheek.

He asking for a promise I can’t fully give, not when my conscience warns that he and I still have bridges left to cross. I’ve felt it since we spoke at the lake house—a nagging in my gut that as courageously as he shared the bitter details of his past, there are doors he may never allow me to open.

Cradling his firm jaw in my hands, I look into his haunted gaze. “I never want to leave you, Nick. I love you. I need you. I always will.”

On a rough, jagged sound, he hugs me close, burying his head into my breast. For the longest time, he doesn’t move. Then, abruptly, he releases me.

Pivoting without explanation, he leaves me standing in the bathroom alone, confused.

And a little bit wary when he returns a moment later holding something behind his back.

“There’s one more thing I want you to wear for me today.” Brilliant blue eyes hold me in an uncertain stare. “Close your eyes.”

My breath catches because we’ve played this game before. Always with him in control, making the demands. Me in total submission.

I can’t go down this road with him again. Not the way we have in the past. Our talk out at the lake should have made that clear.

But I close my eyes anyway, because I have to know.

Something cool and sleek comes down around my head, settling around my neck and plunging down between my breasts.

Pearls.

I look down at the long strand that glistens in the soft light. It’s not the first time I’ve worn these. Usually when Nick placed them on me, he did it to restrain me. To make me submit to whatever dark pleasures he had in mind for me. Not that I complained. Sex with Nick was never boring, and even at his most dominant, his focus was always on me.

Until the other night.

“I’ve been keeping them for you, Avery. I’ve been waiting for the chance to see you in them again.”

He touches the pearls that dip low into my cleavage, his fingers skimming lightly over the gems before feathering across my skin. I can’t suppress my shiver of awareness, nor the coil of hot need that stirs to life inside me.

“When I gave these to you the first time, it was to show you that you could trust me. But it was a selfish gift. I gave it to you to please myself.” Lifting my chin on the edge of his fingertips, he lifts my eyes to his. “I’m giving them to you now to show you that you can still trust me.”