For 100 Nights (100 2)

His expression stills, then hardens. “That’s funny. I thought I already was inserted into your life.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Then what do you mean?” He pivots to the other side of the mattress and stands to face me, naked and formidable. His hands are fisted loosely at his sides, and I can see from his rigid stance that he is furious. “What the fuck is going on, Avery?”

I stare at him across the wide expanse of his king-size bed. It feels like more than a mile is separating us in this moment, but I don’t dare reach across it. In some sense, the physical distance gives me strength. I’d rather have him angry and shutting me out than see him drawn any deeper into the mess I’ve created.

I’d rather have him hate me now than face his disappointment if he ever learns the worst of my lies.

“I didn’t ask for your help with my mom’s situation, Nick.”

“No, you didn’t.” Clipped words. A tendon pulses in his jaw as he looks at me. “I thought we were well past the point where you’d need to ask me. Am I wrong about that?”

I could push him away with a careless reply. I feel the volatility of this moment and I know I could end things between us right here and now.

Part of me knows I should. Without Nick’s wealth and status in the equation, Rodney’s threat to expose me carries no weight. I’m not afraid of facing the consequences for what I’ve done. In many ways, it would be a relief. What I cannot bear is the thought of Rodney using my sins against Nick and everything he’s built.

“Am I wrong about us, Avery?”

“No.” I slowly shake my head, unable to deny him or what he means to me. “You’re not wrong about us.”

“Then tell me what this is really about.”

I want to. God, how I want to blurt everything out to him and hope, pray, that he’ll understand. He’s forgiven me for lying to him when we first met, but how can I expect him to forgive the rest of the lies that still hang between us? Lies of omission and half-truths. Lies that have protected me for half my life.

He demanded trust and honesty from me—things I promised to give him freely.

Things I have never dared to give anyone before him.

“Tell me what’s really bothering you, Avery.” His voice is steady and calm, but firm with command. He walks around the bed, closing the distance between us. “You’re afraid of something. If it’s not me, then what is it?”

I feel the weight of my promise to him as I hold his penetrating gaze. I owe him my trust. He’s earned it, after all.

But the words stall in my throat.

“You just . . . You caught me off guard, that’s all.” I reach out to him and find his jaw like granite against my fingertips. “I’m sorry I overreacted.”

His eyes study me too closely. He is not a man who is fooled easily, and I’m not naive enough to assume he believes me now.

But he doesn’t push me to deepen my lie.

“I’ll tell Beck to hold off on those calls.” Reaching up for my hand, he draws it from his face. “I have meetings at the office all day. I need to clean up and get out of here.”

He steps away from me without another touch or another word.

I watch him go, feeling the coldness of his withdrawal like a chill that’s opened up in my chest. I want to follow after him, but my feet stay rooted to the floor. Guilt and regret sit like acid on my to

ngue, but they are nothing compared to the bitter taste of my cowardice.

As the sound of the running shower drifts out from the large master bathroom, my phone rings on the nightstand with an incoming call.

I reach for it, half expecting I’ll find Rodney waiting for me on the other end of the line. For one perversely self-destructive moment, I actually hope it’s him, at the same time imagining Nick coming back out of the bathroom to catch me talking with my stepbrother and leave me no choice but to confess everything I’m holding in.

But it’s not Rodney.

“Hi, Matt.”

“Hey.” Matt’s cheery voice jolts me back to the here and now. “So, we still on for Lita’s thing this afternoon?”