Whiskey and Country

* * *

Excitement jitters traveled through me, so much that I skipped booking a motel room and parked my truck along the wooden boardwalk running the length of the beach. With a baseball cap over my head and dressed in washed-out jeans and a long-sleeved white T-shirt, I ran a hand over my face, chasing the sleepiness that had taken over my mind and body in the last hour. I had one goal: dip my toes into the ocean. There was no other reason I drove here. The warm spring breeze swept across my face. Adjusting my shades over my eyes, I tilted my head back, taking a moment to admire the azure sky and enjoying the sunrays grazing my skin.

Why didn’t I come to the beach more often?

I wasn’t here for more than a couple of minutes, and already I felt more at ease than I’d been in a long time.

I forgot how good the hot sand felt between my toes as I removed my shoes and rolled my jeans up to my knees. How I loved to look at the horizon and imagine life had no beginning. And no end. No limits. With my fists on my hips, I inhaled the salty air, burning the memory to my senses.

My exhaustion left me as if the Atlantic breeze had a mysterious rejuvenating power while I walked along the shore, the waves washing my feet every few seconds. A sense of peace invaded me. And for the first time, I realized how tense my back had been. Dead weights I’d been carrying around for far too long vanished.

“Thank you, Derek,” I said, kissing my fingers and giving my friend up there a sign. “I’m happy to be here. How you sensed it, I’ll never know. But you were right.”

Emotions I’d pushed down in the last month swirled inside me, and I blinked them away.

With my legs folded and my arms wrapped around them, I rested my chin on my knees, throwing broken pieces of shell into the waves. All the while keeping an eye on the two fishing rods I’d set up by the water, my ass buried in the now-cold sand.

I’d been sitting here for hours, waiting for a fish to nibble the bait I changed every ten minutes or so.

On my right, a girl, about seven or eight years old, ran my way, curiosity bubbling in her eyes. Dressed in pink shorts and a mint green T-shirt with her blonde hair sweeping her shoulders in a ponytail, all frizzy from the ocean air, she stopped in front of me. Crossing her arms over her chest, she studied me with one arched brow, her cheeks reddened by a day spent under the sun.

“What’s your name?” she asked, whistling her words, her two front upper teeth missing.

“Nick,” I said, mirroring her smile. “What’s yours?”

“Kelly. What are you doing?”

I shrugged. “Fishing.”

She stepped closer. “Alone?”

“Yeah. Why not?”

“Because you have two rods. Are you waiting for someone?”

I rolled my shoulders back, fighting the new tension trying to settle in.

“No.” My friend is not really here. I can’t see him. I can’t talk to him. But imagining we’re doing this together makes me feel better, so I brought two rods. In my head, I sounded like a lunatic, so I kept my thoughts to myself.

“Can I sit with you?”

“Sure. Where are your parents?”

The girl pointed to a woman dressed in a long white floral dress, her brown hair dancing in the ocean air. Even from a distance, I could tell she was pretty.

“My mom is arguing with my dad. Over some child support. They divorced last year. Now that Dad has a new wife and a new baby, he doesn’t visit anymore.”

Kelly looked in the distance.

“Are you from outside the town? I’ve never seen you before, and we come here a lot. Like a lotttt.”

“I’m from Chicago. It’s up north. I’m just passing through town. For a vacation.”

“You will love it here. I tell ya. Did you know that my great-great-great-grandpa helped to build this town a long time ago?”

I shook my head as a smile bent my lips. “No, I didn’t. That’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah. They named a street after him.”

I let out a heartfelt chuckle. “Wow, that’s even cooler. You’re a lucky girl.”

“Have you caught any fish?”

I lowered my shoulders. “Nah. No luck so far today.”

Kelly’s mom neared us, her attention fully on her daughter, a scowl painting her face. “Baby, you can’t leave my sight and run to strangers. We’ve talked about it a million times.”

The woman pivoted and eyed me.

“Ohmygod. I’m sorry if my daughter has been bothering you. She’s not supposed to venture away on her own. And talk to people she doesn’t know.”

I was right. The woman was beautiful. Big caramel eyes, high cheekbones. But she bore sadness in her eyes. And wariness.

“Actually, your daughter is sweet. She’s the first person I’ve spoken to since I got here earlier today.”

The woman glared at me, friendliness banked low on her features.

I offered her a hint of a smile.

“I’m sorry, Mama,” Kelly chimed in, breaking the awkward silence that had settled between us.

Softness soothed her mother’s frown.

“I know, baby.” She switched her attention back to me and shook her head. “She has a tendency to forget personal boundaries,” she said with a sigh. “I’m scared one day she’ll get herself into trouble. She trusts everybody she meets.”

“I knew a child like this. The world would be a better place with more kids like them. Contagiously happy. And fearless.”

The woman’s shoulders dropped, and she returned my smile.

“I don’t know about that. With Kelly, I feel like I should get another pair of eyes sometimes. She’s always in exploration mode.”

We both watched the little girl as she played with seashells.

“I know what you mean,” I said.

“You have kids?” the woman asked, toying with the flip-flop on her left foot, a light flush coloring her cheeks. I had no idea if the sun put it there or she was shy.

I gave her a headshake. “No. Not yet.”

A wall seemed to lower around her.

“Sorry about that,” she said, motioning to her little girl. She gave me a slow once-over. “She disturbed your fishing time. Kelly has to stop doing this. Last week, she gave our phone number to a man, and he’s been texting me, thinking I was interested.” The shade on her face darkened. “Embarrassing.” She extended her hand. “I’m Amanda, by the way.”

“Nick.”

She smiled, and the curve brightened her face. “We took enough of your time. We should go. Come on, Kelly,” she said, inviting her daughter to follow her.

The girl scooted closer to me. “I don’t wanna go.”

Amanda kneeled in front of her, lowering her voice. “We have to. It’s already dinner time. We’ve been here all afternoon. It’s time to go.”

“Do you wanna come?” the girl asked me.

I failed to hide my amusement. Before I could say something, Amanda jumped in.

“Personal boundaries, Kelly.” She lifted her eyes and offered me an apologetic half-smile. “Again, I’m sorry.”

I rose to my feet. “I’ll get going too. I gotta book a motel room anyway before it’s too late and there’s no vacancy.”

I reeled the fishing lines in.

“Can I help?” Kelly asked.

I handed her the second rod. “Sure. Here, place your hands like this.” She executed herself. “Yes. Like that. Now reel in. Wow, you’re a natural.”

She did as I instructed, focused on her task.

“Where are you staying?” Amanda asked while I removed the hooks.

“No idea. Haven’t decided yet. Any place you recommend?”

Kelly jumped to her feet and turned to face her mother. “Mama, you should let him stay in the garage apartment.”

Surprise passed through the woman’s eyes. She seemed to consider the suggestion for a beat.

“You know what? It’s actually not a bad idea. It’s not a five-star penthouse, but it’s located on a dead-end street, and it’s fully furnished. For how long will you be in town?”

“A week. Maybe two. Not sure yet.”

Amanda clapped her hands. “Well, if you want it, it’s yours.”

“Huh, I don’t want to intrude.”

“I’m the one offering. The rent is cheap and honestly, I could really use the money. I have to fix the roof, and those things are pretty expensive.”

“Say yes, say yes,” Kelly chimed, bouncing around, flapping her arms at her sides.

“You sure?” Both mother and daughter bobbed their heads with enthusiasm.

Should I worry? They didn’t know me. How could they be so trusting with a stranger and invite me to stay over? People in small towns had to be less fearful than those living in big cities. No woman in Chicago—even less a single mom—would invite a man they’d just met to stay in their garage apartment.

I brought my focus to them. Grins lit up their happy faces. And I lost the fight.

“Okay then. And I’ll look at the roof while I’m there. I’m a carpenter, so it’s no big deal,” I said with a one-shoulder shrug.

“No. You’re a guest. Just enjoy your time in Medora Beach,” Amanda said. “Now let’s go. I’m starving. We’re going to eat at Barry’s.” She gestured toward the boardwalk with her thumb. “If you’re hungry, you can join us. If you’re free.” The pink flush on her cheeks turned crimson. “This is so embarrassing. You must think I’m asking you out. Ohmygod, I’m not good at this. This is not a date. Rather, a friendly dinner. Okay, that doesn’t sound better. You must think I’m lame. I’m making a fool of myself. For god’s sake, I—”

I placed a hand over hers.

“I’d love to. If you’re okay with it.” I lifted my hands in surrender. “It’s not a date. If you prefer eating alone with your daughter, I won’t object. Don’t feel obligated to invite me.”

Amanda cupped her mouth with both hands. “I was rambling, wasn’t I?”

I nodded, not hiding my grin.

“You must think I’m such a weirdo. I’m not used to asking men out. But you probably can tell—” She exhaled, firming her back, and extended her hand. “Let’s start over. I’m Amanda. This is my daughter, Kelly. We’re having dinner at Barry’s. If you want to join us, you’re more than welcome. There, I said it.”

I shook her hand, her palm warm and soft as it slid into mine.

“Well, Amanda, I’m Nick. I’m from Chicago. And I don’t know anybody in this town. I came here to see the ocean, and I’m famished. I’d love to eat with you guys.”

Without another word, Kelly gripped my index finger and led me away.

“Are you here on a vacation?” Amanda asked, once Barry, the owner, brought us our food.

“Not really.” I closed my eyes for half a second to settle my emotion each time memories of Derek or why I was on this trip resurfaced. “One of my friends died almost two months ago. He made a list of things he wished he could have done before passing. Some sort of bucket list. I guess I’m trying to fulfill it for him. While making it mine in a way.” I glanced down and winced. “It sounds weird when I say it like that.”

Amanda leaned back in her chair and brought the wineglass to her lips. “No. It sounds quite the opposite. That’s very sweet of you. Your friend must have been someone wonderful if you’re doing this to honor him.”

I sipped my beer, my heart rate picking up. Once it decreased, I cleared my throat. “Yeah. He was. I hope I’ll find out a lot about myself in the process. What I want, where I’m heading to. In every aspect of my life. I’ve never lived one day at a time before. It’s my first try. Gets me a little antsy.”

Amanda’s warm laughter bounced against the walls of the small restaurant. “Being a parent kind of does that to you. Every day is a brand-new adventure you’re never prepared for. Keeps you on your toes.”

She flashed me a smile, but the fog in her irises betrayed her fake sense of calm. Wrinkles around her eyes deepened, and her lips tightened. I recognized the signs. Something, or someone, had hardened her. I wondered what it was.

Our conversation had turned heavy. As if she sensed it, Kelly barged in and entertained us for the next hour.

After dinner, I followed Amanda to her house. Once she put a sleepy Kelly to bed, she showed me around the garage apartment. In the semi-darkness, under a golden light, the only source of lighting, we shared a moment. Amanda flashed me a coy smile, standing a foot from me.

Right there, I could have kissed her. I bet she wouldn’t have objected. But never would I be able to take advantage of this woman, not even for a night. Even though comfort and company were what we both seemed to crave. Or need. I could tell she’d been through a lot. The last thing Amanda deserved was a one-night stand with a guy who wouldn’t stick around or promise her anything. A guy who would disappear in a week or two, chasing a dream he didn’t have a clue what it entitled to yet.

When she leaned in, my lips connected with her cheek instead. I breathed in her lavender perfume.

“Good night,” I whispered into her ear, my cheek brushing hers. “Thank you for tonight. And thanks for letting me crash here.”

Amanda nodded and stepped back, and I walked her to her front door.

“Are you gonna be okay?” I asked.

She nodded again. “Thanks for reminding me there are good men out there, Nick. I forgot for a while.”

I bowed my head.

“Night,” I said before she closed the door behind her. I stood on the front porch, watching the house as lights switched on, one by one, on the second floor. With my thumbs hooked to my pockets, I strode back to the garage apartment that would be mine for as long as I was in town.

After a well-deserved shower, I turned my phone back on.

I had three missed calls and five text messages.

Three of them from my friends.

Tucker: Did you think about Uncle Mike’s offer?

Jace: What are you wearing?

Jace: Can’t wait to undress you later. Did you try the red thong I sent you?

A loud chuckle tumbled out of my mouth. This was hilarious. Who knew Jace and Pam had a kinky side? They seemed so missionary together.

My thumbs typed fast.

Me: The thong is too tight at the front. Not sure you picked the right size. Love the lace, though. Red looks fabulous with my skin tone. You won’t have to undress me. I’m already halfway there myself.

I could imagine my friend’s face in my head. Unlike Tuck, Jace had never been the one to brag about his sexual conquests in the past.

I slapped my thigh in hilarity as the three bouncing dots appeared in the corner of the screen.

And waited.

They disappeared. And never returned.

With a long sigh and a headshake, I turned the light off, my lips curling upward.

Did Pam intercept our exchange? I hoped not. She would castrate her husband. No doubt.

In the dark apartment, I fell face first on the comfy bed and yawned, exhausted, but hopeful.

Derek’s Bucket List –6. Dip my toes into the ocean, even if jellyfishes are gross

Derek’s Bucket List – 10.Nick: Go on an adventure (now you must pick one)