Whiskey and Country

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s not. But I’ll make it up to you.” She winked, and my entire body ignited at her promise. “Will you show me that list, or is it too personal? I don’t want to intrude. I’m just curious. If I’m overstepping, please tell me. Your friend must have been wise to send you here. To me.”

My stomach knotted.

I breathed in to calm my rumbling uneasiness away.

After all, Derek’s list wasn’t some secret. Tucker had seen it. Yeah, he’d even snapped a picture for good measure.

I tugged at Dahlia’s hand. “Let’s settle Jack, and I’ll show you.”

“It doesn’t have to be today.” She shrugged. “Next week is fine. Or some other time. You don’t even have to if you’re not ready.”

At that moment, something unfurled inside me. I had no idea what it was, except the certitude this woman belonged in my life for as long as she would have me. Everything that was her made me want to do better. Be better. Aim higher.

“Let’s do it now. I hate secrets. Not that this is some world-shattering one, but I’m ready to share it with you. Because it’s important to me. And you’re important to me too.”

Jack lay in his small sofa bed, dressed in the monster pajamas Dahlia brought over, with a blanket in one fist and a sippy cup in the other, Buddy curled up next to him. As they watched bear cartoons with an annoying theme song, I led Dahlia upstairs.

My heart threatened to jump out of my chest at any second.

Now I would be sharing a past that only a few people knew about. It was scary opening up. Showing my vulnerability. It felt like a big step in our relationship. But one that needed to be dealt with. Dahlia’s sensitivity would heal the final rift in me. I had no more doubts.

We sat side by side on my bed after I fished the list from a drawer.

Dahlia unfolded it with care, and I observed her expressions as I shared an important part of my life with her for the very first time.

She read what Derek had written out loud.

“Derek’s I wish I had experienced in my life List + Nick’s Bucket List. Ohmygod, this is so sweet.” She sucked in a breath. “Okay, let’s see. One. Go to a hockey game with Nick and the guys.” Then she read the comment I added below. “It was a great night, bro. Hope you saw the ribbon with your name on it after each goal. I’ll forever remember that day.” She turned to face me. “Wow.” After blinking, she continued. “Two. Make one new…no, three new best friends. I thought I already had all the friends I needed in Tuck and Jace. But I was wrong. There are three new best friends in my life I never saw coming until they stole my heart after we met.”

Her lips bent as she read my words.

“Jack is a little boy. I’m sure you two would have hit it off in no time. He’s sweet and adorable. And smart. Like his mother. He’s always happy. Every time he’s around, I can’t help but smile. And it’s amazing to be able to smile again. His innocence reminds me of yours. He has a way to appeal to my heart. Buddy is my neighbor’s dog. You never specified if the friends had to be humans, so I take it upon myself to say it can apply to any living species. He came to me the moment I parked my truck and has been by my side since. There’s something between us. It’s strong, and I can’t really explain it. But I consider him my friend too. And there’s Dahlia—”

I continued, knowing every line by heart. “I don’t know where to start, bro. I feel like I’ve known her all my life, which is silly since I met her not too long ago. There’s a connection between us. Something powerful. She fits right into my life, her heart next to mine. Her smile makes my knees weak. You know like that song you enjoyed so much. I wish you could have met her because I’m sure you would have fallen under her charm right away.”

My gaze met Dahlia’s, the blush covering her cheeks unmistakable. My heart rate kicked up at the way she stared at me.

“Nick,” was all she said, her hand over her heart. She straightened her spine, and her lips found my cheek, filling me with new sensations, before continuing. “Three. Kiss a girl until my heart beats fast.”

Once again, I spoke up. “It happened. Go to point two. She kissed me back. And I thought my heart would explode. It had never felt this way before. Never. She’s special. I’m telling you. And she wanted to kiss me again. But I stopped it. Like a fool. What’s wrong with me? I yearn for more, bro. It’s too soon to know, right?”

Her voice, a breathless murmur, aimed for my heart when she said, “You’re not a fool. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met. You’re smart, funny, caring, handsome, definitely not a fool.”

She rested her head on my shoulder and kept reading.

“Four. Go camping and sleep under the stars. Five. Watch the sunrise every morning. I do that most mornings, talking to you as if you’re listening to me. I hope you are, or if someone hears me, they’ll think I’m going nuts. It’s our moment, you and I. Buddy always comes to me right after. As if he senses I might need him in these moments. Yeah, Buddy is definitely one of my best friends now.”

Dahlia smiled, her eyes glossy.

“Nick, this is beautiful. Six. Dip my toes in the ocean, even if jellyfishes are gross.” A snicker left her mouth. And one left mine too. “Seven. Go to a Carter Hills concert because duh, he’s the best. Ohmygod, Cart would be so proud. Derek was a true fan?”

I nodded. “Yep. He could listen to his music every day, all the time, on repeat.”

“I love it.” A frown was etched on her face when she read my next confession. “Ok, this one is tricky. See, for a reason I still can’t wrap my head around, I met Carter Hills. No kidding. I have no idea how this journey brought me to the rock star, but it did. Anyway, our first encounter was a bit tense. But he seems like a nice guy. And he is Dahlia and Jack’s family. He cares about them so much. Their love has no boundaries. No beginning and no end. It’s beautiful. I’m the guy getting in the middle of it. I understand his reservation. I really do. And I hope one day we’ll be okay. For Dahlia and Jack’s sake. Because they mean a lot to me too. Oh, and by the way, Tucker gifted me two tickets for his show in Nashville in the fall. You’ll see him at the concert after all.”

Dahlia turned to face me. “Nick, about Carter—”

“It’s okay. We only met twice, and I love that he cares enough about you, that he’s willing to scare anyone who’s not good enough for you away. The thing is, I’m not scared easily, so he’ll have to try harder if he wants me out of your life.”

Dahlia moved onto my lap and grabbed my hands in hers. “Carter barks but doesn’t bite. Believe me. And I’m big enough to choose who I bring into my life. And my heart. He doesn’t have a say in it.” Her lips widened into a smile. One that tipped my heart. “But I’m really happy you’re ready to fight for me. It’s important to me. For what it’s worth, I’d fight for you too. Any time of the day. Or night.”

She kissed me, her lips light over mine. Then continued reading the list.

“Eight. Do something deemed impossible. Oh, I like that. Nine. Build something with my own hands that I’ll keep forever or gift someone. Ten. Nick, go on an adventure; now you must pick one. Wow, this kid was smart. I already love him.”

She read the words I added next. “I did it. I packed my stuff and followed your advice. I don’t know where this trip will take me, but it feels right. I’ll keep you updated.”

She paused, contentment painting her face.

“Update. I’m in Green Mountain, bro. It was Tuck’s idea. You know how he is. He even got me a job. And I’m fixing an old house. It’s beautiful here. People are nice. They smile all the time. You would fit right in. I met someone this afternoon. Got lost and entered her shop. She stole my breath away. We spent the entire afternoon together, chatting and laughing. She agreed to be my friend. We’re having a date next week. Wish me luck.”

Dahlia’s arms fastened around my neck. “Nick, you didn’t need luck. Because I was starstruck too.”

I leaned in until our mouths were a hair’s breadth apart. “You, Dahlia Ellis, the country star, was starstruck by a guy like me?”

She nodded. “Nick Peterson, you’re not just a guy. You’re the guy I wanna spend all my time with. The one I never seem to get enough of. It means something.”

Bringing her attention back to the list, she read the other points. “Make someone smile my newfound mission.”

I jumped in, gazing into the eyes of the woman still perched on my lap, as I read aloud the words that came from my heart. “Dahlia smiles all the time. Big gestures, little ones, she finds beauty in everything. Today I gifted her a donut. And she bit into it as if I gave her the world. I’m telling you, this girl is different. She’s the best thing that has happened to me since I left the city. As if all my life, I was destined to meet her. To fall for her. I wish for her smile all the time. And want to be responsible for every curve of her lips. Because her smiles make me smile too.”

My voice faded out as silence enveloped us, my heart beating fast in my ribcage.

“What’s the last one on Derek’s list? You left it blank,” Dahlia whispered, tremors in her hands, and a river flowing down her face now.

I shrugged, fighting my own emotions. “I have no idea. He didn’t finish it. I added a few and still do as I go. The last one has to be something meaningful. I haven’t found what it is just yet.”

Dahlia folded the sheet and handed it back to me.

“This is beautiful. And sad, Nick.” She sucked in a shaky breath. “I’m amazed by you. You have such a huge heart. Derek sounds like someone great.”

“He was.”

Her moss-green eyes bore into my soul. They soothed me and shot me with doses of something close to love. Something that made me long to never leave her sight. And her side.

Our mouths collided, speaking everything we didn’t say out loud.

“Point twenty, you’re the reason I smile so much. And about points two and three,” she said, whispering against my lips, “I agree too. Now kiss me again because I love it when my heart beats fast.”

And just like that, Dahlia added another point to the list. One that mattered. A lot.

Derek’s Bucket List – 22. Nick: Share parts of my life with the person who means the most