Whiskey and Country

35

DAHLIA

In the middle of my shop, I crumpled to my knees, my legs too weak to support my weight. Nick’s words played on a loop in my head.

“Jack choked.”

“Couldn’t breathe.”

“Turned blue.”

“Called the paramedics.”

“Ambulance.”

“Hospital.”

No one was around. The only employee was busy hanging gowns we just received in the back of the store.

My eyes burned from all the tears I shed.

My throat itched from all the cries I let out.

My heart was bruised from all the times it banged against my ribcage, beating too loud and too fast.

My stomach hurt, tied too tight with bands coiling around it.

The little angel living in my head, the one I could trust, told me Jack was okay.

Jack was breathing.

Breathing.

Breathing.

Breathing.

My brain reset, and some of the fog around me dissipated. And I remembered Nick, still on the line.

On my all fours, I fetched the phone I’d dropped seconds—or was it minutes?—ago and brought it to my ear.

“Nick?” My voice sounded so far away. And weak. So not-me. “Are you still there?”

His voice, all masculine and him but missing his usual self-assurance, grounded me. “Yes. I’m here. Not going anywhere.”

“Thank you.”

“No. You can’t thank me. I almost cost your baby his life.”

“Nick. Stop. He’s fine. He’s alive. It wasn’t your fault.”

Sobs strangled his next few words. “If you decide I should go when you get here, just say it. I’ll understand. I messed up. Big time.”

“No,” I said, my voice distorted on its way out. “You’re one of us. I need you. We both need you. Please don’t go. Don’t leave. I love you.”

How could he blame himself?

How could he not see he’d saved Jack’s precious life?

I wanted to be by his side, by both my men’s sides, to hug them. Kiss them. Love them.

Nick exchanged a couple of words with a man—probably the paramedic—then I heard him tell my son, “The ambulance ride is pretty nice, huh, little guy? We’ll have to go inside the hospital when we get there with the nice man here. You’ll ride on this magic rolling bed, then a doctor will check up on you with this thing he uses to listen to your heart. And your Mama will meet us there. How cool is that?”

Jack’s voice, the reminder that his life was safe, reached my ears next. “Do the wee-oww wee-oww?”

Every crushed part of my heart healed at the sound of his request. Yeah, my baby was fine.

“You want the sirens?” Nick asked. I pictured my son bobbing his head with too much energy, like he always did. The curl of my lips turned upside. “I’m sure Johnny here can get you some wee-oww.”

Seconds later, a high-pitched sound filled the phone for a short moment, followed by Jack’s clear laughter.

This man. I had no idea why life sent him to me, but I’d be grateful for the rest of my life. Someone I treasured. The way he looked at me. And loved me. And how he always made Jack his priority. As if he was his own. How could I not fall in love with him a little more each day? That man.

From the moment Nick and I met, something strong had seared between us. As if we were destined to meet. To love each other. To be together.

“Sorry, Dahlia,” Nick said, bringing my attention back to him. “Are you okay to drive?”

I nodded, then remembered he couldn’t see me. “Yes. Mary is on her way. I’ll be there as soon as she gets here. We have a fitting in thirty minutes.” I sighed, feeling so far away from the ones I loved right now. “Thanks for being with Jack. Please kiss him for me a million times.”

“Wanna talk to him?”

An invisible vice squeezed my heart. I did. Very much. But I knew I shouldn’t. “No. It will just make him miserable and cranky. Hold him. Kiss him. And tell him I’m on my way, okay? Don’t leave his side.” I shut my eyes and swallowed the mountain-big lump down my throat. “I love you guys so much.” Tears spilled from my eyes and streamed in silence down my cheeks. “Thanks for being there for my baby.” The sound of voices and doors opening resonated on the other end of the line. “Oh, you’re already there. I’ll be with ya as soon as I can. Keep me updated, okay?”

“Of course. Drive safe, please.”

“I will.” We hung up, and after I found some of my composure back, I called Carter. I needed him and his strength, and he needed to know. Because no way I’d ever be able to hide anything from him. I knew from where he was he couldn’t do anything, but I wanted to hear his voice to find my balance. And better he learned of this from me than anyone else, even Jack.

“Hey Dah. I was about to call you.”

The sound of his voice tamed the jitters jumping around inside me.

“Hey Cart, I miss you.” My voice broke. Carter knew me like no one else. No way I’d ever be able to fake being okay around him.

“Fuck, Dah. What’s wrong? Is it that guy? He broke your heart, right? I knew he would. Damn it.” The sound of his palm hitting a hard surface startled me.

“No. Carter. Don’t say that about Nick ever again. He’s been nothing but good and selfless around Jack and me.”

“What is it then? You sound upset. And I can tell you’ve been crying.”

“It’s Jack—”

The words died on the tip of my tongue. Even if Jack was okay, I knew Carter wouldn’t be. And it broke my heart just thinking about it. About worrying him.

His tone turned serious. “Dah? What about Jack? What happened?” Panic was lightly veining his words.

I had to tread carefully here. Carter had been having anxiety attacks since Jeff passed away. And everything and anything could trigger them.

I breathed in a big gulp of air and some courage. “Listen to me. Carter, you gotta listen to everything I say. Jack is fine. But something happened. This morning. He choked while eating breakfast. He’s okay now. The paramedics said Nick did all the right things—” I bit my tongue as I spoke the words. I cringed. Why did I include Nick in the conversation?

I swallowed the acid rising at the back of my throat.

“Nick?” Anger filled my friend’s voice. “What about Nick? Where were you? Why was Nick with him? Are you fucking with me, Dah?”

“Stop. It’s not fair. You aren’t here. You know nothing.”

Wrath sliced my words.