Now we know what the walls around the city are for, Juliet said to the coven in mindspeak. To keep the people in.
“We understand,” Lily said.
“I should go,” Toshi said. “I’ve already been here too long.”
He took his leave, mouthing the words be careful to all of them before he shut the door behind him.
Lily opened up her mind to her coven. Thoughts? Comments?
I don’t trust him, Rowan said.
I don’t trust you. That hasn’t stopped me from working with you, Lily replied. Fresh hurt chased across his face and she looked away rather than feel the hurt with him. I don’t think we have that many more days to decide. Do we stay or try to go? Her coven didn’t have an answer for her, but Tristan did have another question.
Is Bower City so bad? Everyone shot him a look. I’m not saying it’s ideal, but what place is?
It’s run by the Woven, Caleb said, disgusted.
And it looks to me like it’s run pretty well, actually, Tristan argued.
Except for the tiny fact that the people seem to be incarcerated, Juliet said.
Think of Salem. Think of those walls. Were we any less incarcerated there by the Woven?
Seems like you’ve already made up your mind, Rowan said. But you don’t know what it’s like to smash your willstone.
You survived it. I’m not as weak as you think I am, Ro.
I’ve never thought you were physically weak, Tristan. But you’re choosing this gilded cage the Hive has created for the humans over hardship and freedom. Try and tell me that’s strength.
They could all feel how deeply Rowan’s words hurt Tristan. As if against her will, Lily recalled what Grace had just said over dinner about her coven eventually breaking her heart.
We don’t all have to stay, Tristan said sullenly.
You want to split up, Una said, surprised.
A long pause followed. “I think we should all decide on our own,” Lily said. She looked at Rowan. “Some of us might have personal reasons for wanting to leave the coven.”
Lily left them to discuss her without interfering. She was desperate to get out her kimono and wash the makeup off her face, and desperate for silence, both around her and inside her own head.
The thought of losing this Tristan to Bower City had hurt less than it should. She was almost relieved to not have to see him, to not be constantly reminded that he wasn’t her Tristan, and he never could be. As she realized that, guilt folded over guilt until it was piled high on top of her head. She was at her door when she heard Rowan’s voice behind her.
“Lily.” He stopped several paces from her and kept his hands at his sides where she could see them. He didn’t even try to initiate mindspeak. “Are you thinking of staying?”
“I’m not thinking anything yet,” she replied. “What about you?” Lily hated that his answer meant so much to her.
“I’ll stay if you stay, and I’ll go if you go.”
“Why?” Lily sighed and shook her head. “There’s nothing for you here. Not with me.”
“I can live on nothing,” he said, and for the first time since he’d returned, Lily saw him smile.
Carrick finished his glass of wine and went back to work on the steak. They’d tried to give him some kind of raw fish and seaweed for lunch, and he hadn’t touched it. He was sure in a classy place like this they had fresh fish, but even still. Didn’t they know they could get worms that way? Carrick always cooked his fish through and through, even if he’d just caught it himself.
“Hungry?” Grace Bendingtree asked.
Carrick shrugged. “I’ve been hungrier,” he answered. The tilt of his lips let her know how big an understatement that was. He’d been literally starving to death more than once in his life, but as he considered it, maybe this Governor Bendingtree had no idea what hunger was. It was difficult to tell. She lived high now, but she seemed broken in to him. Her features were worn smooth and her eyes were placid from years of weathering strife. Then again, she looked young, too. Carrick couldn’t quite place it, but he’d bet she had some years on her.
“Would you care for some more wine?” she asked.