Witch's Pyre (Worldwalker 3)

“Rowan never meant to abandon the coven. He intended to go with us when we made the crossing. It wasn’t his choice to stay behind.” Tristan took a deep breath. “It was your Tristan’s.”

“What are you talking about?” Lily said, completely blindsided.

“When you woke up after being in the cage, do you remember how he didn’t have a mark on him, but Caleb and I got the stuffing beat out of us when we tried to get your willstones from Rowan?” he asked. Lily nodded numbly. “Well, I cornered your Tristan and made him show me what happened. This is his memory.”

. . . The three of us can hear Rowan making noises in his sleep. Caleb told me he has nightmares sometimes, but this is sad. He sounds like a child, whimpering and pleading. I wonder what he must have gone through as a kid to be like this, and I feel bad for the guy. Almost bad enough to stop this, but not quite.

I hang back and let the other Tristan and Caleb go rushing into Rowan’s tent. Rowan barrels through the two of them quicker than I’d thought. He’s terrifying, even without Lily’s strength in him. Feral. I wince a little as he drops the other me. He starts to charge me and I back off, yelling.

“Whoa, take it easy! It’s me.”

His eyes clear and he seems to snap out of it. He runs his hands through his hair, looking at what he’s unwittingly done to his stone kin.

“Didn’t you tell them?” he asks me.

He already knows I didn’t—if I had, they wouldn’t have tried to jump him—but he can’t accept it yet. It’s hard to accept it when someone’s set you up. He sits down heavily, his eyes skipping around, thinking.

“Why?” he asks.

I sit down next to him. I want to get this right so he understands. He’s got to be the one to leave her or I don’t stand a chance.

“Say I did tell them. Say I give them the whole story—that I was the one who told you in mindspeak to take her willstones away in that split second when Alaric was going to slit her throat. Then I tell them that you were going to break Lily out of her cage tonight while Alaric was away from camp, and we were all going to ride off into the frigging sunset together. What then?”

He looks at me, still not understanding.

“Do you know Lily at all?” I ask. “Because if you did, you’d know she’ll never forgive either of us. If she ever finds out the truth, she’s going to hate both of us for doing this to her, even if it was for her own good.”

“No, she—” he starts to argue.

I cut him off. “Yes, she will. I’ve known Lily since kindergarten, and I’ve never seen her forgive anyone. Do you know I’m her only true friend in our world? That’s because if someone picked on her for her red hair or her rashes or her weird mom, that person was never allowed to play with us again. She held a grudge against pretty much every person in our town. She pushed everyone away until I was the only person left in her life.”

Uncertainty flashes in his eyes. There’s only one nail left to drive into this coffin, and I hope it’s enough.

“Now, what if Lily hates both of us?” I ask. “Who’ll take care of her if she’s sent us both away? Who’s going to love her? She’ll be alone, Rowan.”

He drops his face into his hands. I don’t know if he’s crying or not, but I can’t let that stop me. The guy had his chance with his Lillian and he blew it. He can’t have mine. She was always supposed to be mine, since we were little kids. I feel bad for him, but getting Lily back is all that matters. I know I can make her happier than Rowan can. I know it.

He picks up his head. I don’t see tears, but the hollowed-out look he gives me is even worse somehow. “Juliet says Lily wants to go west. You’re going to need me. The coven’s going to need me,” he says. His voice is thin and lacking conviction.

“She won’t want you there,” I say.

“Still. I’ll follow, just in case. She doesn’t have to know.”

And then he can swoop in and save everyone at the last minute. Be the hero. Win her love. What can I say to stop him? Maybe only the truth will work.

“Look, she’s gotta hate someone for what we did. That’s how she works. Let her hate you.” I’m begging the guy now. “Give me a chance to make her happy. Stay away.”

Finally he nods. He looks lost, like he just woke up in a room he doesn’t recognize. I feel like shit about it, but at least she’s mine . . .

The memory ended and Lily stood staring at Tristan. He looked ashamed but relieved for finally getting it off his chest.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Lily asked, still too shocked to feel the hurt that some small part of her knew was coming eventually.

“For the same reason Rowan doesn’t want me telling you now,” Tristan said, seeming fed up with the whole thing. “Because your Tristan was dead and we didn’t want to tarnish his memory. Because Rowan was convinced you’d still hate him anyway for not catching up with us in time to save him. Because you don’t forgive and you never forget.”

Lily couldn’t look at him. She was too ashamed of herself. She blindly reached for Tristan’s hand.

“Can you forgive me?” she asked. He made an uncertain sound and she mustered the courage to glance up at him. “I’m sorry, Tristan. I’ll try to change.”