Lily did as Una asked, and then waited for Una, Breakfast, and her Tristan to finish answering all of the disbelieving questions before bringing the conversation back to what she needed to know. “You said the tribe started to divide,” she said, prompting the other Tristan.
“Caleb and I didn’t think it was right to kill everyone in the cities without at least trying to fight the Woven now that we have a witch who’s with us,” he answered. “Plenty of braves sided with you and your idea to go west and fight the Woven, Lily.”
She vaguely recalled Rowan standing up for her against Alaric at one point during the foggy time she spent in the cage. “Did Rowan?” she asked. Her voice was small and pathetically hopeful.
Juliet’s forehead pinched with sadness. “No,” she answered. “He and Alaric said that the only braves who wanted to go west were the ones who’d never seen the Hive.”
Lily sat back, deflated. This wasn’t about her broken heart, she reminded herself. She had to focus and think like a leader. Like Alaric would. “How many braves are with me, Caleb?”
Caleb and his Tristan shared a look. “About thirty from Alaric’s group. They’ll follow us when they can,” Caleb replied. “More may come from the other twelve factions once they hear you’re back. A lot of them are your claimed, and they all hate the Woven. They may want to join us in fighting them.” Caleb’s words were optimistic but his tone wasn’t.
“What happened while we were leaving camp?” Lily asked. “There was something going on. People were dying.”
“Caleb, your Tristan, and I took on Rowan to get your willstones back,” the other Tristan said quietly. “We had to fight our way out.”
Lily studied their faces. Even under their warpaint, she could see that the other Tristan and Caleb had gotten the worst of it, and her Tristan didn’t have a mark on him. She wondered what had happened, but she didn’t want to bring it up in case she said something to embarrass her Tristan.
“A lot of Outlanders were angry that Alaric was letting you starve in that cage,” Juliet added. “They feel like they owe you their lives so they helped us get away. Even most of the braves that sided with Alaric thought he should let you live.”
Lily gave a mirthless laugh, smiling so she didn’t start crying. “But not Alaric or Rowan.”
“No. Not them,” Juliet replied.
Tristan looked up at Lily, like he wanted to say something, but after a moment he looked away.
The conversation was over and everyone went back to finishing supper. Lily crossed her arms over her chest, holding everything inside as best as she could. It was worse than she thought. Rowan would have let her die. A bitter voice in her head said he was just being smart. It was probably easier for him to let her die than to smash his willstone again.
“You should eat,” her Tristan said softly.
Lily looked up at him and realized that everyone else was asleep around the fire. She’d lost track of how long she’d been sitting there.
“Really. Finish your food,” Tristan urged. He sat down next to her.
She picked up her bowl and swallowed what was in front of her without bothering to taste it.
“I’ll keep watch,” Lily told him when she had finished.
“You need to sleep,” he replied.
She tilted her lips into a bitter smile. “I won’t be sleeping for a long time so I may as well make myself useful. I’ll wake you if something comes.”
Tristan lay down next to her. He stared up at her, worried. “I’m sorry about Rowan,” he said. He reached out and laid a hand on her wrist, trying to comfort her. “I’m so sorry he hurt you.”
“Go to sleep,” Lily replied, her eyes scanning the trees.
Eventually, Tristan fell asleep and Lily was finally alone. She needed answers, and there was only one person who could give them to her.
You used me, Lillian. You had Carrick follow us from my world. Was it because you knew Rowan would take me right to Alaric?
I wanted a man Alaric never lets out of his sight. Hakan, the builder. He knows how to disarm the bombs, and he knows where most of them are. Carrick gave me Hakan, and now I know what Hakan knows.
I can’t believe it. I didn’t have to say anything to Rowan. I lost him for nothing.
I didn’t tell you to tell him, Lily. In fact, I was very careful to never disturb you with my memories when Rowan was near. I didn’t want him to accidentally pick up on my presence. I didn’t want you to lose him.
Then why have me come back here at all, Lillian, if not to argue your side? You said that was the whole point of showing me your memories!
Yes, I need you on my side, and that’s why I showed you my memories. But I never wanted you to tell anyone. In fact, I told you not to.