Goddess (Starcrossed 3)

“Yeah . . . so I forgot to mention that I sort of absorbed some of your talents when the three of us became blood brothers,” she said tentatively. “At least that’s what Lucas thinks.”

“I’d say he’s right,” Orion replied, giving Helen a funny look.

“The one thing he didn’t figure out was why,” Helen said, biting her lower lip. “Any theories?”

“About why you’re crazy strong?” he asked distractedly. “No idea. But I have a feeling the Fates are involved.”

“What?” she asked cautiously. “Are you mad at me?”

“No. It’s just that I have a talent that I wouldn’t wish on anyone,” he said softly. Another wave pounded around them. “Can you cause earthquakes, Helen?”

“I don’t know. Where do you feel them?” Helen asked, knowing he would know what she meant. She felt lightning low in her belly. She felt gravity deep inside her individual cells at the smallest level and guessed that earthquakes had to be felt somewhere in the body like these other senses. Orion moved closer to her, his face serious.

“Here,” he said, brushing his hands up the inside of her bare thighs. “Like riding a horse the size of a continent,” he added, his voice low. Helen put her hands on his shoulders, her knees suddenly weak.

The ground trembled.

Orion caught her before her legs gave out and pulled her tightly against him. “That’s a yes,” he whispered.

Helen ran her fingers across the scar on his chest, and then fanned her palm out to touch as much of him as she could at once. He lowered his head and kissed her, pulling her down with him beneath the next oncoming wave.

Helen didn’t have a chance to freak out about being underwater—she was too intent on returning the kiss. She didn’t even notice that she was breathing the water like it was air as she slid her hands across his shoulders and the back of his neck. The only thing that she could think was how amazing Orion felt. Amazing. But not right.

Orion pulled away suddenly. Helen opened her eyes and clearly saw the sad look on his face even though the water was dark. She knew she was making a mess of things. Her one chance to be happy with another guy—a guy who was pretty much perfect—and she was absolutely wrecking it. She reached for him again, desperately hoping to push past her ridiculous fixation on Lucas. If she was with Orion, really with him tonight, she hoped that maybe she would be able to leave Lucas behind.

Orion dodged her embrace, his jaw set. He took her hand firmly and kicked for the surface, towing her along behind him.

They had sunk deeper and drifted farther out than Helen thought. She realized that she might be able to control the ocean now, but she still didn’t know how to swim. It didn’t matter. In a few powerful strokes Orion had them both back to shore. He didn’t say a word on the way. As soon as they stood on sand, he dropped her hand and headed directly back up the beach to where they had left their clothes.

“Orion. I’m sorry, okay?” Helen called out, trailing behind him. He didn’t even slow down. She scurried to keep up, but he only went faster. “Will you just wait?”

“Why?” he said, spinning around. “What about you and me is going to be different five minutes from now, or five years from now for that matter? I could wait my whole life for you, and you’d still be in love with Lucas.”

“But I love you, too,” Helen stammered.

“I know you do,” he said heavily. “But not like you love him.” Orion sat down on the sand. Helen stood over him, fretfully wringing her hands.

“Maybe it’s not the same, but that doesn’t mean that eventually . . .” Helen trailed off.

There was no “eventually,” and Helen knew it. Even after she’d touched the water from the River Lethe and couldn’t remember her own name, she’d still remembered Lucas. She’d never get over him. Lucas was it for her.

Orion pulled her down next to him and sighed. “My parents are like you and Lucas, you know. They love each other more than they love anyone or anything else in the world—more than they love me. My whole life I’ve wondered what it feels like to be loved like that. To be loved more.” He looked Helen in the eye, his gaze intent and hurting. “I know you love me, Helen. But don’t I deserve to be someone’s first choice for a change?”

Tears burned in Helen’s eyes. The look on Orion’s face was exactly like the one she’d seen on Aeneas’ face when his mother chose the other Helen over him. All his life, in every life he’d lived, Orion had been the runner-up to someone else.

“I can’t think of anyone in the world who deserves to be loved—loved more—more than you,” Helen said, her voice breaking. “I thought being with you would make me forget him. But that’s just a nice way of saying I was using you.” She bent her head. “I’m so sorry.”

Orion put his arm over her shoulder and pulled her close to him. “Hey, I’m the one who kissed you. I put myself in this situation. And I ought to know better.”

“But I want to love you more,” she said slowly, afraid to continue. She steeled herself and pulled back to meet his eyes. “You could make me love you more, couldn’t you?”

“Yes,” he whispered. “Until the next time you see Lucas. But you already know this. You didn’t just fall in love with him once. You fall in love with him every time you look at him.”

“Then I’ll stay away from him. Forever.”

He glanced away and bit his lower lip, debating it. “But I’d always know,” he whispered. “I’d always know that I forced you to love me, and that it isn’t real. I think I’d rather never be loved than know that.”