She wants me to reinstate Theron in his rightful place within the family. Within The Society. Except that he has no rightful place. There is not a drop of Montgomery blood in him. But a marriage with a De La Rosa would take care of that. It would put him so fucking high on the ladder it would be impossible to topple him. I wonder if she realizes once he gets what he wants, he’ll drop her. Because like his mother, my brother is just as vicious, as conniving as she is.
Rage burns inside me. I switch off the shower and step out to dry off. I pull on a pair of jeans, a sweater, and my riding boots. I comb my hair back with my fingers as I stalk out of my bedroom, but I’m unable to simply pass hers without a pause. Without listening for any sound. What I hear is the shower. She’s washing me off her. As if that will do anything. Prove anything. Change anything.
I have taken her virginity. A part of her will always belong to me. Always.
I swallow hard and force myself to walk on.
In taking her, I have betrayed my best friend. The man who trusted me with his sister. Will he demand I marry her? I’ve ruined her for any other man of rank. She will fail any virginity test. I have ruined her for marriage within The Society. Period.
My steps pound as I hurry down the stairs, only glimpsing Miriam picking up our discarded glasses in the living room as I pass through the kitchen and out the back door. The full moon’s light is ghostly but bright, a spotlight on my guilt.
I don’t bother saddling Kentucky Lightning. I’ve told Paolo Theron is not to ride him. I’ve ordered another horse for my brother. The thought should give me pleasure. A mare half the size of my beast. It’s his welcome home present. Because one thing I do know is that old adage to keep your friends close but your enemies closer. And Theron is my enemy.
After bridling Kentucky Lightning, I mount and ride to the small cottage. The punishment room is a black hole in my periphery when I pass it. Always there. Always holding on to memories I wish had never been made.
The ripped skin of my mother’s back comes to mind. Grandfather was brutal in his punishment. If she’d been his by blood, would he have done it? I don’t want to consider the answer to that. Is that why she hates me? Because I sided with him? I was a child. Or is it that she only has the capacity to love one of us, and Theron wins? Because he, like she, was hated by that man. And I was loved.
I wonder if either of them realizes what that love cost me. What it made me. A man with a temper to match his. But perhaps that is simply my nature. Like it was his.
Cigarette smoke wafts through the air as I dismount while Kentucky Lightning slows his pace. My beast and I know one another well. When I ride, we move as one.
“I don’t allow smoking on the property,” I tell Theron as he sucks on the last of his cigarette and drops it to the patio floor.
He looks casually at me, then stubs it out with the toe of his boot.
“Is that because of the old man? He smoked his cigars like a fucking chimney if I recall.”
“Don’t give me another reason to kick your ass out.”
“Well, I’ll try to keep your rule in mind, your honor.” He nudges the cigarette butt off the patio and onto the forest floor. He grins at me, then hops down the steps to meet me. “Twice in one night. To what do I owe the pleasure? Don’t tell me. Do you carry the news that the lady will have me?”
I step toward him. “You stay away from her.”
He smiles. I’m a fucking fool. He read me like a book the instant he saw me with Mercedes. And he’ll use this weakness against me.
“Why don’t you claim her then? You can. She’s your match. A De La Rosa. Imagine our houses united. The power.” I don’t respond, and he studies me. “Or is it that you think you might do to her what grandfather did to our grandmother?”
“She wasn’t your grandmother.”
“Low fucking blow, brother.”
It was.
“What he did to our mother, then?”
“My reasons not to marry don’t concern you. What does concern you is my warning. Keep away from her. She’s young.”
“Twenty-five is not a child.”
“Inexperienced.”
“Is she?” Arrogance turns the corners of his mouth upward. My brother is handsome. Disarmingly so. He can feign innocence so easily. “Still? Are you sure?”
Heat burns inside me, and I fist my hands, force it down. He doesn’t know what I did. He can’t.
“I mean, just the way she is so at ease with men. The way she looks. I’m sure she’s had her fair share of willing partners. I just assumed she’d, you know, have taken a taste.”
I shove him against one of the porch columns and hold him there with the flat of one hand against his chest.