I did know that. When I was seventeen, I told him I never wanted to get married and to become the first female president to sleep around. He’d laughed and told me to do what made me happy as long as I was safe and respected myself.
We weren’t laughing my antics off now.
“I need these investors, Rae. My campaign depends on it.”
Consequences. Every decision had consequences, and I’d face these like I had the others. Usually, I faced them on my terms, but taking in my father’s disheveled hair and discarded tie, I knew I’d have to put myself aside and face them his way.
“What do you need me to do?”
He froze, as if in shock that I’d so readily lay down my sword and let him take the lead. Austin’s words from this morning came back. Was I selfish? Was it so shocking I’d help without caveats? Watching Dad process my answer, I grew more and more determined to prove I was anything but selfish.
Coming to a decision, he took a deep breath as if preparing for impact. “Play it off.”
“What?” My head snapped back like he’d slapped me. Surely, I heard him wrong.
“Play it off,” he repeated. Nope. Definitely not hallucinating. “We have the Hamptons trip to Scott’s house, and I need his support. Other candidates will be there, so I need to put my best foot forward. Jeremy Scott is a family man and wants us all to come.” He paused as if bracing himself, and I held my breath. “I want you to bring Austin—to play it off like you got married because you’ve always cared for each other. Your friendship is common knowledge, so no one will question it.”
It was a solid plan—one I might have come up with on my own if it were for anyone else. There was just one problem.
“I don’t think Austin will go for it.”
“He’s your best friend,” my mom said like it was the only explanation needed. “Of course, he’ll do it.”
“He’s not…we’re not talking.”
“Jesus,” my dad muttered.
“It’s not like we planned this,” I snapped.
He took a deep breath and headed back to the liquor cart to refill his glass. Before turning, he grabbed another and filled that one too. With determination sparking the blue in his eyes back to life, he passed me the glass. “Convince him,” he ordered. “We don’t really have any other choice. Tell him I’ll owe him.”
“He doesn’t need anything from you.”
“Everyone needs something eventually.”
I couldn’t help but think of Bodie and how he never missed an opportunity to ask for more than he deserved. I doubted Austin would ever accept favors. So, why would he help me? Taking a healthy swallow from the glass, I relished in the stinging heat sliding to my chest. Although, it didn’t come close to the sharp jab of pain that had been my constant companion since watching Austin walk away.
Even the thought of reaching out to him hurt. Which Austin would I get? The one I’d known since college or the one I met today? Hell, I didn’t even know if he’d pick up, and that caused a whole other slew of gaping wounds to open up.
My father watched me, and I reminded myself it wasn’t about me. I could do this for him. “I’ll see what I can do.”
He finally gave me the nod I’d been waiting for since I walked in. It wasn’t much, but it was enough.
My bed called to me, and I wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep for days. I’d made it to the foyer before the click of my mom’s heels followed. I sighed, looking longingly at the door before turning.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
Leave it to Mom to always call bullshit on the wall I tried to erect. “Yeah, why?”
“Your breakup? Was there anything else going on?”
She may know that the wall was there, but she didn’t always know what hid behind it. She studied my face, and I considered laying it all out there.
Selfish.
The word snuck up again and punched me in my chest, forcing me to choke back the words. What I allowed Bodie to continue to do was my burden, and it would be selfish to lay it at my mom’s feet. Between that and the shame, I couldn’t imagine ever telling anyone.
Rolling my eyes, I gave her my best I-don’t-care, bad-bitch strength. “C’mon, Mom. I’m not the serious type, and Bodie was a filler at best. It was amazing I kept him around as long as I did.”
At least, that was the truth.
She continued to stare, not appeased with my answer. So, I let my wall down just enough for her to see that maybe I wasn’t as okay as I wanted to be.
“I’m just tired. It’s been a hell of a long weekend.”