So, by the time we said our goodbyes and headed to bed, I stood on the precipice of snapping, and I couldn’t explain why.
All I knew was that exhaustion pulled at my bones, and I didn’t want to look for the missing piece anymore. I didn’t want explanations. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to understand this feeling. I just wanted it gone.
“It was the year after college. When you were traveling.”
It was the first words he’d given me since dinner started, and if anything, they only added fuel to the fire. Why? Because it was a one-hundred-percent valid explanation. I’d traveled Europe for over six months after school, and between the time change and life, we kept missing each other. It was the most time we spent apart, but it hadn’t mattered because each time we got back together, it was like no time had passed at all.
It would make sense that he had someone in his life that I hadn’t known about.
So why didn’t it make me feel better?
“Rae—”
“I’m tired, Austin. We have a full day tomorrow, so let’s just go to bed. Please.”
He wanted to push. I could see it written all over his pained face. But I desperately needed him to let me shove this away with a night of sleep, and he could see that.
After the long day of unknowns, one thing went as I knew it would.
Austin saw what I needed and gave it to me.
With a nod, he pulled the covers back and climbed in the bed.
As if the day hadn’t messed with my emotions enough, when he rolled over with his back to me, instead of the relief I should have felt—I hated it.
Chapter Eleven
Austin
Unfortunately, the hope and prayer I gave last night didn’t work. Rae rolled out of bed and didn’t speak to me. She barely made eye contact at breakfast, and if she didn’t stop, everyone was going to question what the hell was going on.
Fate granted me one small reprieve when Aubrey didn’t make an appearance for breakfast. Not that I didn’t like her or anything, she just threw me for a loop.
Aubrey had been a whimsical relationship—fast-paced and consuming. It ignited and gave me the perfect distraction from hating that Rae was gone. One night, Aubrey threw out the idea of marriage, and I blindly agreed, but when it came time to pick out the ring, I bailed.
I couldn’t marry someone when all I did was compare them to Rae.
But how the hell did I explain that to Rae?
I didn’t, which led to Rae not talking to me.
On the flip side, watching her shut down when confronted with one of my exes had me intrigued—hopeful.
Was Raelynn Vos—the girl who claimed she’d never care for any man enough to give a shit if he fucked another woman—jealous? As much as I hated the never-ending dinner, I hadn’t hated that. Amongst the dread and constant reel of ‘holy fuck’ running through my head last night, a spark flickered under it all, only growing with each forced smile and unguarded reaction she let slip free.
While I couldn’t quite find my words to soothe the situation last night, all my other senses had been on high alert—including the one that took in everything Raelynn since I met her. Each smile, each laugh, each response to Aubrey had carried a tinge of fakeness I hadn’t known Rae capable of possessing.
She’d been anything but fine, and after mulling over every option of why, I kept coming back to the same one—Raelynn Vos was jealous that I asked another woman to marry me.
And when someone was jealous, they cared. Right?
Right.
Needing proof, I promised myself to take the first opportunity to push the envelope. I’d avoided ever pushing against the friendship boundaries before, but I’d never been married to her with obvious evidence of jealousy. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and I’d happily flip the switch from friendship to more if it meant getting an answer. Because I was desperate to know the truth. Could Raelynn care about me as more than a friend? Could she want more?
My chance came when she stepped onto the patio to take a phone call. I followed, and as soon as she hung up, I snapped into action.
She gasped when I gripped her arm and gently tugged her aside. Her eyes flicked over my face, her mouth agape as I maneuvered us to the corner, blocked by the curtains. Guests still lingered inside, and the wall of glass doors barely provided any privacy, but some of the curtains weren’t completely open, giving me the perfect spot.
“What the hell, Austin? What? I won’t fall at your feet like Aubrey, so you have to go all caveman?”
She crossed her arms and probably rolled her eyes, but I was too distracted by the way the deep vee of her little yellow summer dress showcased her full breasts resting over her arms. Fuck, what I wouldn’t give to lick my way from one curve to the next.