“Mac, it’s fine.”
“It’s not bloody fine.” He halted to glower at me. “I just mauled my best friend’s wee sister. My boss’s wee sister! Christ, you’re barely three years older than my daughter.”
I winced. “Don’t say it like that. You’re making it sound worse than it is. You’re thirteen years older than me, Mackennon. It’s not a big deal.”
“It is a big deal.” His voice lowered now, his expression softening, pleading almost. “Arro … Lachlan is the only family I have. I could never hurt him or you. This”—he gestured between us—“darlin’, it can’t happen. It’ll never happen. I … my mind is in an awful place tonight, and I shouldn’t have … we shouldn’t have. I don’t think of you that way.”
Rejection sliced through me.
I didn’t want him to see.
I don’t think of you that way.
Okay. Well, now I knew for certain, right?
Had I just taken advantage of my friend’s vulnerability? The thought scored through me.
I didn’t want to lose him over this.
“Mac, I’m sorry. It was a kiss. We both had too much to drink. No one needs to know and it’ll never … it’ll never happen again. I’ll never do that again. I’m sorry. We’re fine. We’re good, okay?”
His eyes narrowed, studying me. It took everything I had to keep my expression neutral. Finally, he seemed to deflate with relief. “Nothing to be sorry for, darlin’. We’re fine. We’re good.”
“Well”—I mustered up a stoic attitude as I fixed my hair—“I better get back out there for the bells. You should come, Mac. Mingle. Take your mind off Robyn for a while.”
He nodded grimly. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
Leaving him, I felt abruptly cold out in the corridor. Dazed, I strolled back to the great hall, this time nodding at lingering guests. Mac’s taste was still on my tongue; my lips still pulsed from his kiss. My body still throbbed from unsatisfied desire.
Shake it off, Arro.
I could hear Lachlan’s voice booming as he gave his New Year’s speech, and just as I entered the great hall, he shouted from his position on the stairs, “May ye for’er be happy an’ yer enemies know it! Slàinte Mhath!”
Everyone raised their glasses and shouted back, “Slàinte Mhath!”
I waited along the edge as servers appeared with blankets for the guests. People started wrapping the faux-fur blankets around themselves and suddenly Lachlan was before me. “There you are.” He wrapped a blanket around my shoulders. “Time for fireworks before the bells.”
I nodded and let him lead me with the guests outside.
“Where were you?”
“I just needed a breather,” I lied. “This is all a bit overwhelming.”
My big brother cuddled me to his side. “I know, sweetheart. But it’ll be worth it, I promise.”
I nodded and stood with him in the driveway with the guests as a bagpiper played “Auld Lang Syne” in the distance.
Suddenly, a sharp whistling sound filled the sky seconds before an enormous bang. Golds and silvers and blues and pinks exploded in the dark, and the guests erupted in cheers and applause.
For a while, I was lost in the splendor of the display.
But I felt him before I saw him.
Turning my head, I looked at Mac as he took up position on my other side.
He held my gaze, remorseful, uncertain.
I didn’t want him to feel guilty about me.