And then her voice cut through the silence. “You can take this off for a while.” She covered my hand holding the ice to her face. “The doctor said to ice it every twenty minutes or so.”
I nodded. “Need fresh ice, anyway.” I dropped the wet towel on the floor. I’d deal with it when I got up.
“You better not take any of this on yourself, Mackennon.”
“I’m not,” I promised her. It was difficult because it was second nature to see it as a failure, but I wouldn’t let those kinds of thoughts come between us. “I’m proud of you,” I told her gruffly. “You have so much strength in you, Arro. So much fire and fight. I’ve never been more thankful for it.”
She drew in a shuddering breath. “I’m glad that’s who I became at that moment … but I don’t know if I’d feel that way if I’d killed him.”
I lifted my head as she tilted hers up to meet my gaze. “If you’d killed him, it would have been self-defense. And I wouldn’t be sorry for it.”
“Have you killed anyone, Mackennon?”
I nodded. “When I was a police officer.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered tearfully. “I hate that for you.”
“It was self-defense. Kill or be killed. Doesn’t make it any easier, but it’s the one thing in my life I won’t take the blame for. He put me in that position when he fired his gun at me. Just like Guy put you in that position when he attacked you. Be at peace with it, Arro, because if it had turned out differently, if he’d …” I couldn’t bear thinking about it. “If he’d hurt you … I would have killed him.”
Her gaze sharpened. “You don’t mean that.”
“Do you remember the rage you felt when faced with Roisin Bankman?”
Understanding dawned. “Yes.”
“Then you understand how I feel right now and how I would’ve felt if he’d stolen my future with you.”
She nodded slowly. “But I’m here, Mackennon. I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.” Humor suddenly lit her expression. “Unless, of course, there are more skeletons in the Adair closets, just waiting to terrorize us.”
I groaned. “Don’t, you’ll jinx us.”
Arro laughed lightly, the sound a bright relief.
Then, “What happens now? There’ll be a trial, won’t there?”
“Aye. Another one.”
“We’re going to be experts at this soon.”
“Hey.” I tilted her chin back up. “We won’t live our lives with this hanging over us. There will be a trial, and we’ll deal with it as it happens. But for now, we’re moving on. Together.”
“I want to build a house in Caelmore with you,” Arro blurted out.
My lips twitched. My Arro, impatient and passionate. “Oh, really?”
She sat up a little, countenance brightening, and I was glad for the distraction. “What do you think? We could choose a plot a little farther down the coast from the boys. Design it exactly to our specifications. We could put in a gym so you don’t have to get up so early to use the one at the castle. Sea views. A proper library for all our books where I can finally host our book club.”
I grinned at her growing excitement. “Our book club?”
She nodded, already far away, building the house in her mind. “I’ve always wanted a proper chef’s kitchen too.” Arro’s gaze turned back to me. “Maybe a shower big enough for sex.”
“Oh, I like that idea.” I caressed her hip as she seemed to slump, battling the exhaustion the attack had left her with. “We’ll talk about it later, darlin’.”
“But you want to?”
“I can’t think of anything better,” I promised, brushing a soft kiss against her lips.
She let all her love shine out of her. “Maybe two kids’ bedrooms?”