It opened, and in came Maxine.
Right, I had to get myself together. Maxine could not sense me freaking out. It might make her freak out.
I had to be calm.
I smiled brightly at her. “Hello, my beautiful sister.”
She tipped her head to the side and glided to us, her lovely rose-colored gown made of layers of diaphanous chiffon floating around her.
“Hello, my beautiful sister,” she repeated.
“Idina is going to take you to the park to paint today,” I shared.
She turned her eyes to Idina and used them to smile.
Then she asked, “Can I talk to Sattie?”
Idina started, but I focused more acutely on Maxine, because we’d had many alone times, but we’d never had a discussion.
“Milady, their lordships will be here—” Idina began gently to refuse her.
“I wish to talk to Sattie,” Maxine declared.
Oh boy.
I wasn’t sure I’d heard Maxie declare anything.
Idina and I exchanged a look.
“It’s all right,” I said to her. “We won’t be long.”
Idina nodded.
“Don’t forget your gloves and hat,” she bid as she left the room.
She closed the door behind her.
I watched Maxine lean her tush against my dressing table, pick up an intricately shaped bottle, open the stopper and smell what was inside.
“Maxie,” I called quietly.
She lifted her eyes to me.
My eyes to me.
“You’re who I’m supposed to be.”
My heart squeezed and I froze.
“Momma is not my momma,” she continued.
Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods.
“But she’s my momma.”
“Maxie—”
“You’re Maxie too.”
I reached out and touched her knee. “Honey.”
She put the bottle down, picked up my hand, and placed hers beside it, examining it, and I knew, seeing they were exactly the same.
“Thank you for bringing Momma back. And giving me a sister.” Her eyes came to mine. “And Annie and Lorie and Mr. Popplewell. Also Auntie Mary. She didn’t come see me very often, and then she stopped seeing me at all. Papa didn’t like her visiting me. He didn’t like anything about me.”
Gods.
My beautiful, broken sister.
Not only broken by what happened on that horse, but how he’d treated her after.
Seriously, the asshole Edgar Dawes of this world beat out the deadbeat Edgar Dawes of my world by a mile.
“Maybe not, but you do know we all love you,” I told her fiercely. “You know we all love everything about you.”
She laced her fingers in mine and pressed our hands gently back and forth.
“I know.”
“You’re sure?” I pushed.
She kept doing the hand thing, which was sweet, and sad, because it was a childlike thing to do.
“I know, Sattie,” she stressed.
“And I know it’s confusing, but Momma and me were brought here for you.”
Her brows drew down. “It’s not confusing. Love is not confusing. People think I don’t know things. But I know the way Papa was, that was confusing. You and Momma, you aren’t confusing. Not at all.”
My smile at that was again bright, but this time genuine.
“I’m glad you know that.”
She held my gaze, and suddenly, her lower lip trembled. “You’ll make it so Lorie will make it so he won’t come back, won’t you?”
Mental note: Maxine absorbed a lot of shit that went on around her. And that was okay, that was good.
But we had to see to her along the way as she did it.
“We’ll make that happen,” I whispered.
“Lorie took us out of the bad room.”
“Yes.” I was still whispering.
“Momma was strong, but we stayed down there a long time, and she was getting scared. I could tell she was getting scared, even if she tried hard not to let me see. He made her stop being scared.”
“Yes, he did.”
“He said you sent him.”
My voice was throaty when I said, “I did, baby.”
“And then everything turned good.”
“I hope so.”
She jumped and I jumped, but her jump was to throw her arms around me.
“Love you, sissy,” she said into my ear.
Then she let me go and darted from the room.
That was enlightening, frightening…
And beautiful.
I sucked in a ton of air (in other words, I took a gigantic sniff so I wouldn’t burst into tears) and blew it out.
“Okay, all right, okay…” I chanted.
Idina’s head popped around the door.
“Their lordships are here,” she announced.
I nodded.
Her head disappeared.
“Okay, all right, okay…” I chanted again.
I went to the bed, took up my gloves and hat, and deep breathed my way to the hall, through the hall and down a half a flight of stairs.
I’d pulled it together by the time they could see me.
And I knew something was wrong even before I made it anywhere near him.
I greeted Ansley first, saw Mom studying me curiously, but mostly, I was all about Loren.
He had his chin tipped down and his gaze was moving all over my face like he’d never seen me before.
Also, it was important to note, he didn’t touch me.
“Everything okay?” I asked, my words sounding feeble, strangled.
His beautiful, lushly lashed brown eyes came to mine.
And I found it alarming in the extreme that he didn’t answer my question.