Then we both laugh.
“Pie,” I say, serious now, because she might really be scared of her new boss and that’s not funny. “He’s not a bad guy.”
“You don’t know that! You haven’t seen him for two thousand years. You didn’t see that place. It’s… weird. Like… what is it? Another… time? Another world? Another planet? What the hell is it? I don’t want to go there every day. I didn’t even want to go there once.”
I kiss her on the chin, then scoot up and kiss her on the lips. This time she does not wiggle away. She kisses me back. It’s a nice, long, slow, open-mouthed kiss. And we both enjoy making out for a couple minutes. Maybe, if I keep going, she might want me to ravish her before work. But just as I think that, she pushes me away and squirms out from under me. And before I know it, she’s out of bed. Frowning at me. Pointing at me.
“It’s gonna be your fault.”
“What is?”
“When I come home tonight, damaged.”
I decide to give in and own it. I think she’s being ridiculous, but she might be right. At least her fears on day one might be justified. I get it. I think. She has a new body, a new life, a new past, new magic, new monsters—and now she has a new job that lives in a new world.
It’s kind of a lot.
She’s scared. And fear is no fun.
“Pie, if you come home damaged, I will force my way into that tomb, find Tarq and everyone else who dared to hurt you, and kick some monster ass.”
She pouts. “No, you won’t.”
I jump out of bed, grab her by the waist, and push her against the wall, pressing myself up against her, pinning her in place. “I get it. You see me and think… ‘He’s just my shaggy, soft, blond, considerate satyr chimera.’ But you don’t know me, Pie. I might be shaggy and blond—and sometimes considerate—but I am not soft.” I bare my teeth at her. She pulls away from me. “Tarq is not going to hurt you. But if he does, I will kill him.”
“You don’t have to kill him.”
“Oh, I will kill him. I don’t like to kill things, but if I have to, I don’t feel remorse about it when I’m done.”
“But it’s not going to come to that, right?” Her blue eyes look up and meet my gaze. She’s asking me. This is a real question. She really is afraid. And now I feel terrible that I didn’t understand this sooner.
“It’s not going to come to that, Pie. You’re mine. He’s borrowing you on a technicality.”
She sighs. Gives in. Drops her head.
“And hey,” I say, tipping her chin back up with one clawed finger, “if he found a way to walk through the tombs, he can find a way for me to walk through the tombs. Then I can go with you. Wouldn’t that be fun? I’d love to see the new world.”
Her pouty frown almost tips upside down. “That would kinda be fun. I mean, there are humans there, Pell. But there are people like us there too.” Her smile grows. “And being there with you? That would be great. Do you think Tarq could get you inside?”
I already asked him about this when he came through with Pie’s Book of Debt a couple weeks ago. But he said it was a special one-off spell that only worked from his side of the door and couldn’t be transferred to me. But I didn’t tell Pie that back then, and I don’t tell her now, either. She needs hope to get through this day. So that’s what I give her. “I’m sure he could.”
And the lie pays off because now, instead of thinking about how afraid she is about starting this new job, in a new world, with a new monster boss, she’s thinking about the two of us going to that world and having fun together like normal people.
It’s no longer a frightening place—it’s now, maybe, a world where we fit in.
And I have to admit, it sounds a little bit nice. After two thousand years of being the only satyr chimera, I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be with my own kind again. Not only that, but be in a place where I didn’t have to hide or worry about the fucking curse.
A new life. A brand-new life.
It would be a dream come true.
During my pause for inner reflection, Pie has been reflecting on her own. She’s thinking very hard about this day. “Listen,” I say. “You’ve turned this job into something much bigger than it is.”
“Oh, have I?”
“Yes. It’s not a big deal. It’s a paycheck, that’s it.”
“I’m the personal assistant to the Modern Minotaur, Pell. It’s kind of a big deal.”