“What about them?”
“We need to go shopping today.”
“No, we don’t. We just went last week.”
“We bought all the wrong things.”
“What are you talking about? We got everything we need.”
“No, you see… some of our new guests don’t eat what we eat. And they’re tired of pretending. They need their own food.”
“What? What kind of food?”
“Hay. And grain. They need hay and grain.”
“Hay? What the hell kind of monster eats hay?”
Tomas shrugs. “Vegetarians?”
I sigh. “Well, how much does hay cost? And… how much do they need?”
“Yes. This is the tricky part. They need a lot of hay, Pell. We have thirty-two vegetarians, so—”
“Wait. You’re telling me that thirty-two of the fifty monsters do not eat meat?”
“That’s correct. They’ve been grazing the sanctuary but the grass is getting too short now, and, well… they need the hay. So we need to go in to town and buy lots and lots of hay and grain.”
I drop my head, shaking it.
“Trust me, I understand. You don’t want Pie to take on any more debt. But we must feed them, Pell. You agree, right? We can’t just let them starve.”
At first, I didn’t mind all the extra monsters around Saint Mark’s. It’s kinda nice to be around non-humans. But they’re starting to get on my nerves. And I can’t help but think, if we just gave them the bag of magic rings, they might be able to leave here. And if they can leave here, they wouldn’t be our problem anymore. And Pie would not have to go into debt to feed them.
“Pell?”
“Fine,” I growl. “We’ll go get some fucking hay. But they owe us for this.”
“Understood.”
Understood, my ass. It’s not like all these stupid new monsters have anything to offer.
They’re just sucking us dry.
CHAPTER TWO - PIE
Magic rings.
One of them is a bad thing. But a whole bag? Yeah. That’s horrible. Like… this is not going to turn out well. I just know it. They’re little tricksters, those rings. This is the second time they’ve turned up in a place they weren’t supposed to be. Last week I found them in the kitchen and they were supposed to be in the Pleasure Cave. Pell has a little hidey hole there and since he made the Pleasure Cave off limits to the new monsters, we figured the bag of rings could be forgotten about. At least for a while.
But then there they were in the kitchen. The entire bag of magic rings was sitting on a shelf behind the flour. The cooking monster—I’m calling him Cookie. Like Cookie Monster. I snort a little. Anyway, Cookie Monster almost found them while he was making cupcakes.
Then I hid the bag in the wardrobe. And just now they were right there on my bedside table.
I’m starting to think that the bag of magic rings is… well… magic. Like the hallways, or something. Or the tombs. The rings might not even be for the monsters, but if they are, they cannot have them. Not in this world. Maybe there’s a tomb out there in the cemetery where these monsters belong? I should look into that. But one thing I know for sure—they do not belong here, in this world, where humans live. So it is my responsibility to keep these rings hidden.
Anyway. I go over to the tub and turn the water on. But it’s not hot yet. I’m adapting to the whole you-need-to-heat-your-water-with-wood thing. I am.
But do I like it?