I sigh, and follow him into the hallway. This time we only walk through two doors before we arrive at the lab. Talina is already there, busily working at her bench. She turns when we enter, her eyes wide behind her safety goggles.
“Have a nice day, Miss Vita,” Luciano says. Then he backs out of the lab, pulling the double glass doors closed behind him.
That whole thing was just weird. But… whatever. Nothing I can do about it. So I turn to Talina and smile. “Good morning—”
But that’s as far as I get before she drops to her knees, presses her forehead against the stone floor, and just… stays like that.
I walk over to her and look down. “What the hell are you doing?”
She peeks up at me, then quickly hides her face again, and whispers, “I can’t talk to you.”
“Says who?”
“The rules, my lady.”
“My lady?” I snort. “No. I’m not anyone’s lady. And get up, Talina. That’s dumb.”
She doesn’t move. “I can’t. It’s protocol.” She peeks up at me again. “You’re royalty, miss.”
“OK.” I tap the toe of my hoof on the tiles. “That’s enough. If I’m royalty, then you have to obey me.” I’m not actually sure this is true, but this is how royalty usually works, so I say it anyway. “And I want you to get up right now.”
Talina immediately pops to her feet, head cast down.
“And look me in the eyes.”
She gasps, but follows the order, her eyes glazing over, like she’s trying not to focus on me.
“I command you to treat me like I’m not royalty. In fact, I would specifically like you to treat me the same way you did yesterday, before this whole princess thing happened. And that includes looking at me, and talking to me, and generally not acting like I’m special.”
Talina lets out a breath. “Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. I’m not this princess, Talina. I’m a girl named Pie. I’m really not anything special.” She’s about to protest, but I point at her. “And you know what? I like not being special. I want nothing more than to be… unspecial. Just a girl. A regular girl. So if you treat me special, I will hate it, Talina. Hate it. Does that make sense?”
She looks both confused and panicked.
So I elaborate. “See, back where I come from, I was never normal. I was kind of a freak. So I don’t want to stand out, Talina. I want to fit in.”
“Oh,” she says, finally focusing on me. Finally seeing me. “I guess when you put it that way…”
“Yes. See? It makes sense. So. We’re good?”
Talina reluctantly nods. “OK.”
“Great. Now I need your help. I need to knock a considerable amount of debt off my list because I have needs in my other world, and they are expensive. Tarq wants me to do spells and shit. Open portals. Use… that.” I point at the bloodhorn tree in the corner of the lab. “Do you know anything about this kind of stuff?”
Talina nods. “Oh, yes. I went to school for years to learn. I’m a certified expert in spelling.”
“Spelling?” My face crinkles up. “Like… ABC’s?”
“No.” Talina laughs. “Spelling. Like… casting spells.”
“Ohhhhh. Gotcha. OK. So, can you teach me?”
“Yes. I will teach you how to spell.”
“Wait, we’re still talking about magic, right? Not Dick and Jane books?”
“Dick and who?”