Savage Saints (Monsters of Saint Mark's)

“Mon-sterrrrrrrrrs,” the sing-songy voice repeats. “Come out and plaaaaaaay-aaaayyy.”

“Come out and play?” I’m not following. I turn to Eyebrows, the only monster who is still standing near me. “I don’t understand. Is this an invitation or an attack?”

Eyebrows is looking right at me, straight in the eyes, when the first flaming torch comes flying over the walls and hits a tomb.

Of course, the tombs are made of stone, so it should just go out. But then another projectile comes flying over, landing in the same place. This one shatters because it is a glass bottle. But not only that, the fire ignites and a small explosion occurs. Lighting up the night with orange and yellow flickers.

I turn back to Eyebrows, who is scowling now. “Well, that was exciting, wasn’t it?”

He yells something at the others, but I don’t quite catch all his words, because another dozen flaming arrows and explosive bottles come flying down upon us.

And this time, they set one of the apothecary monsters on fire!

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR - PIE

“Um…” I blink. “Pell? Fuck! I didn’t mean to…” But I stop talking because obviously, I’m talking to myself. “Shit.” I stomp my hoof. “I really hope I sent him to the right place. I wasn’t ready. I was just telling him the spell. I was gonna get input, for fuck’s sake!”

Note to self: Spelling has a hair trigger.

Good to know.

But shit! “Pleeeeeeeease,” I beg to whomever listens to this kind of begging. “Please, please, please do not lose my Pell in the… ether, or whatever! Please make this work. Properly. For once.”

The funny thing is—well, it’s actually not funny at all—but the weird thing is, the door is gone. Just… poof!

One magic portal, now missing.

“Is this normal?” I look up. Which is so dumb. Even if there’s a god—who is not a trickster asshole like Saturn, or whoever—they don’t live in the sky.

Also, why am I still wearing these slutty schoolgirl clothes? I stomp my hoof again. Can’t I catch a break? Ever? “This is old now, OK? I have lots of other clothes!”

Again, I’m yelling to the sky.

I sigh down at my skimpy skirt and too-tight bustier. I think I’ve gained weight, actually. Either that, or a cup size. Because my nymph tits are so squished, I almost can’t breathe.

This is great, just great.

I look back at the empty space where the portal was and try to make sense of it. Maybe, when a portal is in use, it can’t be used by anyone else?

This is actually kinda handy. And makes sense, if you think about it.

But only if the portal is still there where Pell is now.

Oh, my God. What if it’s not? What if he’s stuck there? And what if ‘there’ isn’t where I was trying to send him?

“Please,” I beg again. “Please, please, please don’t lose my Pell.”

I pace a little. Then I get an idea. Maybe one of the many, many, many monsters I have at my disposal outside can tell me how portal doors work?

Part of me wants to stay here and wait, wait, wait. But I don’t know how long this will take and I’m in desperate need of some reassurance.

So I make my way back to the opening of Pell’s tomb and even from way across that foyer area, I can see that something is not right outside.

Because it’s lit up like a sunset and it’s the middle of the night.

“Oh, shit!” I yell, then run towards the door and leap through.

There are flames all over the tombs, and the ground, and the statues!