“See? Look at you already having fun. You’re adorable when you’re plotting my death.”
“I’ll take a large coffee with one sugar, and she’ll have the same, but with two sugars and a splash of cream.”
“I can order my own coffee, Dean. Just because Island Brew is a stop on the tour, doesn’t mean you have to keep up with this plus-one nonsense.”
“I wouldn’t have asked you how you took your coffee if I didn’t want to order it for you. And saying it out loud helps me commit it to memory. You know, for future reference.”
“Oh, like, for when I wake up in your bed one morning?”
“Thank you for confirming you think about being in my bed.”
“What? No! I laughed. You heard me laugh. It was a joke. I was just saying what I assumed you were going to say.”
“Uh-huh. Sure. Maybe we shouldn’t sit by each other for the rest of the tour. Your dirty thoughts are making me uncomfortable.”
“You’re an ass.”
“Just can’t keep your thoughts off my ass, can you?”
“Just this one for me, and then that pile of hers.”
“Will you stop it? You can’t keep paying for my stuff at every stop on this tour. I can pay for my own books at The Book Attic.”
“Stop arguing and put them up on the counter. I’m not usually this giving. Take advantage of it.”
“You’re insane. These are all hardcovers!”
“What does that have to do with anything? You want those books, so I’m going to get you those books. Are you okay? You look like you’re…. Oh my God. You’re picturing me naked right now, aren’t you? Because of books?”
“No!”
“You said that really fast. It’s a little suspicious.”
“I need some air.”
“While you’re out there, just keep in mind I don’t wear underwear. It will help you save time undressing me faster.”
“…and then he greases up his palms and starts tugging and pulling, rubbing his hands over the entire length to make it nice and long before it gets too hard.”
“I’m going to need you to explain this process one more time. But slower, and with more feeling. Feel free to use my body as an instructional guide.”
“You’re disgusting. We’re in Chew on This! A family establishment!”
“Hey, you’re the one talking about greasing things up and making them hard.”
“Candy! I was talking about the candy pulling process!”
“Suuure.”
“Fine. You know what happens if I tug and rub that hot, long length too slowly? It cools down, and then I can just… snap! Break that thing right in half.”
“Well, that was just plain mean. You’re definitely not getting any old-fashioned ribbon candy for the road now.”
“That was fun! Same time tomorrow for our next plus-one activity, sugar?”
“Not if I can help it.”
“Oh, come on. You can admit you had a little fun with me this evening.”