He ate the chocolate cake slowly, enjoying every bite like it was the best thing he’d ever eaten. That was another thing I thought was amazing about Lark—the way he savored not just food, but experiences, and life in general.
It was so different than the way I’d just sort of been coasting along, barely noticing what I was doing or truly enjoying myself. Maybe that was why I admired him so much. Lark reminded me what it meant to truly be alive.
Once every bite of dessert was gone and we’d finished our drinks, I put my feet up on the coffee table, and he curled up on my lap. He made sure the blanket covered both of us before settling in.
We were quiet for a while, as we listened to the rain and watched the raindrops on my windows turn the city lights into an abstract bokeh work of art. I felt so good, so peaceful and comfortable. That sense of peace was a rarity for me, and I savored it the same way Lark had savored his cake.
Finally, he said, “I love the rain. It makes wherever I am feel twice as warm and cozy. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever felt cozier than I do right now.”
“Same.” I idly began to stroke his hair, and after a pause, I told him, “I need to confess something.”
He tilted his head back to meet my gaze and grinned as he said, “Let’s hear it.” The only look in his eyes was amusement. There was no suspicion or worry about what I might say, although with that lead-in, it could have been just about anything.
“I felt jealous when you introduced me to Seth.” I hadn’t planned to tell him that because it sounded ridiculous, but it was still wearing on me so I decided we should talk about it.
“Why?”
“Because he’s a very attractive man, and I didn’t know what he was to you, apart from being Casey’s brother. I also didn’t know he had a fiancé until later on.”
“Is that why you seemed like you were on edge at the sex shop?”
I nodded. “Sorry I almost ruined our shopping trip.”
“It’s okay. I still had fun, and if you want to, we can just go back and see the rest of the store some other time.”
“I feel bad about it. I’m not usually like that.”
“It’s hard to believe you’d be jealous of anyone,” he said, as he returned his head to my shoulder. “You’re literally the most handsome man I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Thank you for the compliment. Inside though, I’m still that same scrawny dork with braces and acne.”
“You’re really hard on your former self,” Lark told me. “Even if he didn’t look like you wanted him to, teenage Dylan was still a great guy.”
“How do you know that?”
Lark looked up at me again and grinned. “Because he’s you, silly. That means he was kind, generous, and a genuinely good human being.” His grin turned teasing as he added, “I probably would have had a massive crush on you if I’d known you when you were about sixteen. But I would have been, like, eight or something because you’re way older than me, so that’s kind of gross.”
I burst out laughing. “That started out really sweet, and then it turned painfully awkward.”
He looked like he was proud of himself. “It did! That’s a special skill of mine, ruining touching moments with almost no effort.”
“You really don’t do that. Well, except for just then, but you did that on purpose.”
“I did. I couldn’t help myself.”
After another pause, I asked, “Does our age gap bother you?”
He picked up my hand and kissed it, and then he held it to his chest. “Absolutely nothing about us bothers me, Dylan. I think we’re perfect.”
As the rain came down outside and this gorgeous man snuggled on my lap, I had to agree.
19
Lark
I was super nervous and sweating in weird places as Dylan drove us over the Bay Bridge. We were on our way to his parents’ house for brunch, but it wasn’t a “taking my boyfriend to meet Mom and Dad” kind of thing. At all.
We’d been dating for almost a month at this point. Even though we spoke every day and saw each other on Dylan’s days off, it was still just that—dating, and I didn’t expect it to change any time soon. He’d made it perfectly clear he needed to take things slowly, and I respected that.