There was a pale blue loveseat at one end of the room, and we sat down on it a little awkwardly. I really felt he understood why I’d needed a few days to sort things out, but the time apart seemed to have made him a little uncertain around me.
He sat up straight and crossed his feet at the ankles as he asked, “Is it official? Did you really lose your job?”
“I met with my captain yesterday afternoon. He was very understanding and said I could take another medical leave, like I had when Travis died. He also said we could evaluate where I was in a few months, and if a therapist and the staff counselor signed off on it, I could come back to work.”
“That’s great! So, you didn’t lose it after all.”
“Actually, I chose to resign.”
“Why? I thought that job meant everything to you.”
“That’s the thing,” I said, “being a firefighter meant more to me than it was supposed to. When I thought I was going to be let go, it devastated me. That made me realize way too much of my identity and my feelings of self-worth were tied up in that job. It’s like, I know what it means to be a firefighter, but I don’t really know what it means to be Dylan Hawkins apart from that job.” I met Lark’s gaze and asked, “Does that make sense?”
“Definitely.”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think these past few days. There was literally nothing else to do in my hotel room. Anyway, I realized it feels right to leave the job at this point, on my terms. It’ll give me a chance to discover who I am, while you and I build a life together.”
“Wait,” he whispered. “What are you saying?”
“You’re all I want, Lark. When I think about my ideal future, it has nothing to do with a career. It’s about you and me, together.” He looked stunned, and I said softly, “I can only hope you feel the same way.”
He launched himself onto my lap and grabbed me in an embrace as he exclaimed, “Of course I do! I love you so much, Dylan.”
Hearing him say that was absolutely everything. I took his face between my hands and told him, “I love you, too.” Then I kissed him, and it felt like the first time all over again.
I’d built up that moment in my mind, but when the words finally came out, telling Lark I loved him felt like the most natural thing in the world. I’d known I felt that way for a while now. All I’d needed was the courage to say it, and to open myself to all that came with it.
This was a turning point. In fact, I could picture it in my mind’s eye. The book with the story of my past was closing, finished but never forgotten. At the same time, a brand new book was opening, full of crisp, bright pages to fill with our story.
I wrapped my arms around him, and as he snuggled against me I admitted, “I don’t know what I’m going to do next, Lark. I don’t even know where I’m going to live.”
Then I told him about all the feelings seeing my in-laws had stirred up, and how I’d started the paperwork to transfer the loft to them. When I finished, he said, “Why don’t you move into the room beside mine? Yolanda hasn’t found anyone to rent it yet.”
“Are you sure?”
He smiled at me, and there was no doubt whatsoever in his eyes. “Of course. We don’t have to call it living together if it seems too soon. I mean, you’ll have your own room. But I’d love it if you were right there beside me, all the time.”
“That sounds fantastic. Do you think Yolanda and JoJo would be okay with it?”
He pulled his phone from the back waistband of his paper skirt. “Want me to ask them?”
“Absolutely.”
He sent a text and got a reply less than a minute later. When he turned the screen to face me, I saw that Yolanda had written: We’d love to have Dylan move in! Tell him the room is his as of today. Also let him know it has a bed, desk, and dresser, but we can clear it out for him if he wants to bring his own furniture.
“Please thank them, and tell them I’ll take the room exactly like it is,” I said. “If you don’t mind though, I’d much rather spend every night with you, in your bed.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” Lark sent our landladies another text before setting aside his phone and draping his arms around my shoulders. His dark eyes sparkled as he exclaimed, “This is going to be so fun! It’ll be like a sleep-over every night.”
“You’re right, and I can’t wait.”
“Will you stay here with me while I finish housesitting? I’ll message Casey and Theo and ask, but I’m sure they’ll say it’s okay.”
“I’d love to.”
He grinned playfully. “That’s a relief. Now there’s someone to eat all those leafy things in the fridge.”
I chuckled at that as I traced his jawline. After a moment, his brow creased with concern, and he said, “I hope I didn’t just pressure you into moving in with me before you were ready. I know you’ve been through a lot these past few days, between moving out of the loft and leaving the only job you’ve ever known. Maybe it’s too much to also start a committed relationship right now.”