No one who really knew me actually chose me. Apart from my girlfriends, of course. And even with them, I hid a little part of myself. Not because it was particularly dark or fucked-up, but because it didn’t fit in with the person they thought I was. The person I wanted to be. Or maybe I was a little fucked-up. Who knew really?
Karson. He knew.
He saw me. As absolutely insane as that was.
And he was fucking choosing me.
Yeah, that scared the shit out of me.
Because he could hurt me. I’d known that since the moment I’d brushed my lips against his on his porch that very first night. Not physically. I knew he was dangerous enough to know how to kill a person with his bare hands and not leave a spec of evidence.
But my fear didn’t come from him hurting me in that way. I was terrified that he’d make me fall in love with him, make it so I couldn’t breathe unless I was with him. Then he’d break my heart. Leaving me nothing but a shell of my former self, unable to forget him.
I’d never had my heart broken before. And I did not plan to have it broken in the future.
Especially not by this man.
The risk was just too high.
But I’d jumped out of airplanes, I’d learned how to fly those same airplanes, traveling to places the US government recommended its citizens steer clear of, vacationing in the middle of military coups.
“I’m going to take you on a date,” I informed him.
Karson’s narrowed eyes told me that my answer was not at all what he was expecting. He had probably been expecting a fight. He had me pegged as a strong, independent woman who was not going to be owned by a man. And in that regard, he had me pegged right. But although he seemed to see a lot of things about me, he couldn’t see just how much he affected me.
“You’re going to take me on a date?” he repeated. His voice was slightly husky. It was full of sex. Of promise.
I pressed my thighs together, tightening my grip on the stem of my martini glass. “Yes. Are you afraid of flying?”
Karson shook his head slowly, just once.
“Are you afraid of strong, capable women flying you and destabilizing the power dynamic I bet you are so very used to?” I asked.
Finally, his expression changed, a small uptick of his mouth. “I’m more than happy for you to destabilize the power dynamic between us, darlin’, as long as you know my cock is going to be inside you at some point during this date.”
My throat went dry, making it difficult to swallow.
How long had it been since that night? Years, surely. I felt parched. Suddenly desperate for him.
I licked my lips, reaching into my purse for a handful of bills to throw on the table. Then I stood on unsteady knees, walking toward Karson, stopping only when our bodies brushed together. The hairs on my arms stood up at his proximity. I kept my eyes on his.
“We’re going to start the date with that, darlin’,” I whispered.
Then I turned on my heel and walked directly to the bathroom.
CHAPTER FIVE
Romeo & Juliet – Peter McPoland
I flew us to Napa Valley for the date.
Our family had a house there. One that my parents used only for their annual holiday party. Both of them were much too busy to use the Spanish inspired villa in the middle of wine country.
Oh, rich people problems.
I had never taken a man there. It was my place. Overlooking vineyards, the smell of herbs on the wind from the meticulously maintained garden. The bedroom with the French doors that opened up to endless country.
It was quiet. I liked that. Needed it.