What Grows Dies Here
Page 40
He was essentially telling me that if I didn’t walk away now, I’d be trapped with him forever. Red flags, surely. Possessiveness. Obsessiveness. Danger.
All of those things were a fucking siren’s call to me.
Yet despite being me—someone who had defined herself as a free spirit, a feminist—I wanted to be owned by this man. Caged in by him.
He was watching me as this all ticked over in my head, as if he could read my thoughts. Though Karson had considerable power, I knew he didn’t have actual superpowers. He couldn’t read my mind. But he read my face, my eyes, exceptionally well. Even though we’d known each other for a short time, he knew my subtleties. Because he took the time to watch, to look. Not just looking at me because I was pretty.
Again, words from the past floated into my mind.
“He will be your destruction.”
“Are you going to kiss me or what?” I asked in response to his monologue. My voice guttural.
His body jerked.
Jerked.
This was it. This was me embracing destruction. This was me giving up the fight. This was me embracing him.
And the truth of that shook him bodily.
I didn’t have a moment to process that, to get all warm and melty, because he kissed me. Then he fucked me on the porch.
Eventually, we made it inside. The sun was rising. We were in Karson’s bed with the doors to his balcony open, the ocean right in front of us. A soft breeze was kissing our exposed skin.
We hadn’t spoken in a long time, our energy spent on each other. But sleep was far away.
“Jay didn’t come tonight,” I said, staring at the ocean.
Karson’s body visibly tightened.
“I invited him,” I continued.
“Of course, you did,” he muttered.
I went up on my elbow so I could glare at him. “It is Stella’s birthday. An important one. Extremely important for reasons I won’t share with you because they are not mine to share.” I sighed, trailing a finger along the sculpted ridge of his pec. “Anyway, although I don’t know the intricacies of their little arrangement, I know my best friend was hurt that he didn’t come, though she did well to hide it.”
Stella had a good time at the party. A great time, even. But I saw the way her eyes flickered to the entrance like clockwork, waiting, hoping for her man to show up. Hoping that he would come into the light for her.
“I don’t like my friend being hurt,” I said, my voice sharp. I was suddenly irrationally mad at Jay Helmick and decided he needed a visit from someone who was not afraid or attracted to him to help him get his head out of his ass.
Karson gave me his own version of a frown. It was a lot more badass and glowering than mine.
“I see the shit working behind your eyes,” he growled. “See that you’re forming some kind of plan. I don’t want you getting involved. Don’t want you near Jay.”
I scowled at him to hide my shock that he’d correctly read my mind. “Well, sir, let me just submit to your every whim,” I cooed sweetly. “Oh, wait. I’m not the one in some kind of Dom/Sub relationship with rules and contracts. That’s my friend Stella. And although I would be open to exploring all kinds of whips and chains with you, I’m not going to let you call the shots in my life.”
Karson’s eyes had predictably flared in hunger at the whips and chains comment, but his jaw remained stiff. “I’m serious, Wren… Do not fuck with Jay.”
I stared at him. “Or what? He’s going to have me whacked?”
He did not see the humor in my statement. “He’s my boss, Wren. He’s one of the only people I trust. And I really don’t want to have to go up against him. Which I would. For you.”
I contemplated his words. He would go up against Jay. For me. I wasn’t sure what exactly that meant, whether it meant a strongly worded, alpha male argument or a full-on death match, and I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to be the reason that Karson did that, even though I was pissed at the whole situation. Even if Jay wasn’t some crime lord and Karson wasn’t his second in command, it was a dick move for me to meddle in my friend’s love life.
I sighed dramatically. “Fine. But to distract me … I’ve got handcuffs in my purse I would like to use on you.”
His eyes flared, and his jaw was no longer tight with any kind of fury.