What Grows Dies Here

“Karson, is it?” my father asked, voice warm. “Good name. Unique.”

“Karson is definitely unique,” I agreed with a grin, leaning into him.

My mother’s gaze went off into the crowd somewhere. “Wren, darling, we would love to stay to chat, but you are due at the podium before dinner is served.” Her eyes went back to me. “Your television friend has been waiting for some time to present the award.”

I rolled my eyes. “Mother, she is not a television friend. She is one of the most successful women in the business right now, she’s won four Emmy’s. And she just directed and starred in her own movie that won an Oscar. She’s rather famous.”

Mom waved her hand. “Yes, yes, of course,” she muttered.

Only my mother would dismiss one of the most famous women in the entertainment industry.

“Anyway, we must not keep her and our guests waiting,” she took charge, grabbing my wrist. “Karson can keep your father company.”

My mother did not organize this dinner, but she magically knew exactly what was going on and who needed to be where. As was her way.

My stomach pitched as I looked through the throng of people between us and the stage. I wasn’t nervous about the speech but leaving Karson’s side. It surprised me, that feeling. Not once had I felt like I needed a man beside me for anything but a good story.

My mother had spirited me away before I could cling to Karson. After that it was smiles, hellos and air kisses on the way to the podium. Then there was my introduction. The applause. Then I was on stage where I hugged my ‘television friend’ and accepted the glass trophy that sickened me as I stepped up to the podium.

“Hi,” I said into the microphone quietly.

I was not a nervous public speaker. I’d done all sorts of speeches throughout my life. Once I had to entertain a crowd at a rock concert when the lead singer—the guy I was dating—was trying to come down enough from a bad trip to get on the stage.

It had been established that I was not shy. Even if I felt odd and wrong about accepting this award while wearing diamonds and couture in a room full of women wearing the same when the charity was about helping women who had literally nothing. Even then, I could turn it on. I could play the game. Because without all of this, the charity would not get the money and attention it needed. So I was more than willing to spout some bullshit, indulge in the spectacle for the greater good.

But I was hyperaware of Karson in the audience. Of his eyes on me.

I cleared my throat, cognizant of the amount of eyes on me. “I want to thank you all for being here tonight.” I addressed the crowd but kept my eyes on him.

“I know it may seem like just another gala, a reason to get dressed up and drink cocktails. Just another dinner. If you’ve been to one, you’ve been to them all, right?”

A slight hum of laughter reverberated through the crowd.

“We’re used to charity being an event,” I continued. “But we don’t think anything else about it. Not something that we should explore in ways other than signing checks.” I narrowed my eyes at the crowd. “But don’t skimp on the checks.”

More laughter.

Aside from my last statement, my eyes never left Karson’s. “I know it’s rather cliché, but I do not think I deserve this award. And I promise this isn’t false modesty. If you know me personally, you know that modest is not a word used to describe me.”

Cue laughter.

“I have lived a fortunate life,” I continued. “The world that these women live in may as well be on a different planet. We’re so far removed from it. It’s easy to be removed from it. Much more comfortable. But I’m not content being comfortable. And I’m not comfortable staying within the confines of my fortunate life. The one that my parents gave me.”

My gaze moved from Karson to where my parents were standing beside him. “If my grandparents hadn’t been brave enough to leave Vietnam, my mother would not have created the life that she did here. Don’t get me wrong, she’d be running things wherever she was in the world, but my grandparents knew that she would not ascend to the heights she deserved if they stayed where they were. And my mother created an empire. She met my father. They created me.”

I smiled at my parents.

“It was a genetic lottery that had me being born here,” I said. “Given the life I live because of my grandparents’ bravery and sacrifice, because of my mother’s tenancy, my father’s kind heart. But I could’ve been born into a different life. One where I wasn’t afforded the right to read. To choose my own suitor.”

My eyes touched Karson.

“It was luck. Extraordinary luck that had me born here instead of somewhere where diamonds, gowns, freedom seem like items and concepts found on another planet. So I truly don’t deserve an award for trying to help people with what I was born with. But thank you for the recognition. And the big checks.”

I winked at the audience then left the stage.

“He’s different, isn’t he?” my father asked as we watched Karson dance with my mother. Yes, Karson was dancing with my mother. I had no fucking idea how it had come about. Karson, it turned out, was good with parents. He was excellent with parents. And with my parent’s snobby friends.

He was a different man.