Midlife Love Story

But he wanted to. “I’m happy to keep things casual for now Chase, but I won’t be your secret or anyone else’s. It’s not fair to ask.” I stepped inside the tidy house where nothing at all was out of place, and grinned. Chase could be so self-contained, and his home was a perfect reflection of that. “What’s for dinner? It smells incredible.” I turned to face him, my smile warmed up as the tension fled my body, but one look at him and it all came crashing down like a cold bucket of reality.

“I’m sorry Carlotta.”

I nodded at his apology as I tried to process it, to figure out what he’d done to require an apology. “For what, exactly?”

He sighed and motioned for me to have a seat inside his living room. I chose one of two chairs that faced the sofa and crossed my legs at the ankles. “I think keeping our relationship a secret is for the best, for both of us. As mayor, the entire town will be overly invested in my relationship. They’ll watch us like a hawk, report everything, every little kiss or disagreement will be bounced around for weeks. They will drop hints about getting married and having kids.” He looked so distraught that I would have felt sorry for him if he hadn’t been trying to keep me a secret.

I laughed at his gravely serious expression. “This is Carson Creek, Chase, the town is invested like that in every single relationship, as you well know.” He’d lived here his entire life, and had been the subject of gossip a time or two. “It was only a few years ago they were all wondering if a single mayor could give the town and its problems the attention it deserved.”

He knew it was true, considering his fifty year old opponent had reminded the voters of his young age and single status every chance he got.

“Which is another reason to keep this quiet.”

I folded my arms and looked down my nose at Chase. This night was turning into the exact opposite of what I was hoping for when I picked out my lingerie barely an hour ago. “I wonder if it’s our age difference that bothers you more than the town finding out about us.”

His green eyes widened. “What? No. That’s crazy.” He shook his head. “I don’t even think of our ages. Ever.” Chase stood up and started to pace the length of the room, back and forth, back and forth while the gears cranked in his head. “Carlotta, we’re not exactly low-key citizens in town,” he began, but I’d had enough.

I held up a hand to stop the flow of nonsensical words from his mouth before I got really upset. “Stop it, Chase.”

“Stop what?” The fact that he looked genuinely concerned and confused meant nothing to me.

“Just stop trying to explain, because you’re just making things worse.”

“But how can that be?”

I laughed and shook my head. “Because your words are making me mad. Look, you want something secret? Fine. I have no problem keeping a sex-only affair a secret because my sex life is no one’s business but my own.”

He relaxed, which told me this would likely be our last night together. “I knew you would understand.”

I flashed a smile, but it was bitter and without any trace of amusement. “So, if this is just a sex-only deal there’s no need for dinner. I suggest we get straight to the sex.” How I managed to maintain my composure, I had no idea, but I stood and waited Chase out.

“You can’t be serious.”

“I can, and I am. Look Chase, I like you, but I refuse to put myself in the position of growing close to you and letting you in, when you don’t even want people to know about us.” I already liked him, the man he was when he could relax and be himself. I liked him more than was wise given this new development. It was time to stop thinking like a silly schoolgirl and start acting like the smart, independent woman I was.

“So that’s it? It’s one or the other?”

I nodded. “Yes Chase, that’s how these things tend to work. Or would you rather we keep up some version of a casual relationship that has never in the history of the world worked for anyone?” I didn’t need to hear his answer to know that’s exactly what he was thinking.

“I just don’t understand why we have to broadcast our relationship to the entire world.”

I smirked. “Is that the lie you’re feeding yourself? Okay fine let’s say we don’t broadcast it, but we have dinner out together once in a while. You ask me to dance at the bar and I say yes. Would that make you feel better?”

“No,” he admitted reluctantly.

I got in his face. “Exactly. You want to meet up at my place or yours, romance me in secret, sleep with me and do it all in secret.” My chest heaved with anger and arousal, competing emotions that shouldn’t have fueled me the way they did.

Chase’s green eyes darkened, and I knew he felt it too. “That’s not what I’m saying at all.”

“I don’t care,” I shot back with a bite. We were at a standoff that would end with neither of us getting what we really wanted. His gaze met mine and my own refused to waver.

I don’t know who moved first, but in the next moment our mouths were fused together in a kiss so hot I felt the flames of fire licking up the back of my neck. We kissed with as much passion as we fought, and eventually we had to pull back in search of oxygen.

Our gazes locked once again, and we attacked each other. Again. My arms wrapped around him, and I pressed up against the hard steel of his muscles, clinging to him like this was our last night together.

It is, I reminded myself. Unnecessarily, I might add.

I shoved that thought away, deep down where I wouldn’t have to think of it until later. Much, much later.