My stomach lets out an angry growl as if it knows I’m not going down again for a while. Next time I grab food, I’ll squirrel away some in my room, just in case this happens again. Then there’s no reason to leave at all.
I dig through my bag and find the small e-reader I hid away there. Basically, my only form of entertainment. Kai gave it to me when I was recovering, and I’ve used it so much the sides are worn from my fingertips.
I always assumed I was buying books on his account, but he’s mentioned nothing about what I’ve chosen to read, and I’ve never asked him for credit to buy them. Maybe it’s just another thing between us we don’t talk about. There are other moments tying us together in secrets and silence, but I keep them to myself. As far as I can tell, he doesn’t mention my nightmares or how I wake up screaming to Valentina, and I hope to keep it that way. One day, when I see her again, I don’t want her to see the broken woman I became before the end.
I climb into the soft bedding and wrap all the blankets around me. Leaning against the headboard, I have a clear view out the window of the snow beyond. I can’t think of a dreamier spot. If only I had some snacks to go along with it.
I let myself get lost in the book, and when my bedroom door bangs open a little while later, I blink up at Kai in surprise. He’s dressed now, thank goodness, but not in the suits I’m used to seeing him in. This time, he’s in jeans, a thick gray wool sweater that stretches across his shoulders, and heavy black combat boots.
If he notices me staring, he doesn’t mention it. “You doing okay?”
I swallow hard, the flash of his body against mine making my throat dry. “Yeah, fine,” I croak out.
He surveys the room, the windows, then me, and gives me a clipped nod. “You didn’t get food, did you?”
It’s pointless to lie because he always sees through me. “No, I came back up here when you went to get dressed. Did you see anyone outside?”
“No, just deer tracks leading up the side of the cabin. It was probably curious and sniffing around.”
I blink, and he’s gone, walking out the door, leaving it open. My e-reader clicked off while we were talking, so I hit the button to start it up again. While it loads, I consider how different he looks outside of his usual clothing. Not that I’ve seen him regularly since he set me up in that apartment, but still.
The book opens, and I hunker down into the covers more and start reading again. But I barely make it a page when Kai returns with a plate of fruit. He sits on the edge of the bed, setting the plate beside him. “You need to eat.”
I keep scanning the book, not looking at him. “And if I say I’m not hungry, are you going to force me to eat?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him snag some pineapple and pop it into his mouth. “No, but I might eat it all, and then if you decide you want something, you’ll have to get it yourself.”
I glance up at his face, judging his sincerity. His features are neutral, as if he doesn’t care one way or the other. I reach out and take an apple slice, then take a bite. “Thank you. I could have gotten my own food anyway.”
“It’s nothing, just what was already available in the refrigerator. I’m sure there will be plenty of time for you to wow me with your culinary prowess.”
A snort-laugh slips out of me before I fold my lips in to cover it up.
He’s smiling, though, as if he can’t believe he just heard me snort and laugh at the same time. “Not much of a chef then, I take it?”
“Are you? I bet you’re super good at ordering takeout, though, right?”
He waves the phone I didn’t notice in his other hand. “I have all the apps. Unfortunately, they aren’t going to help us one bit out here. We’re on our own.”
“Hope you like cereal.”
He shrugs, then grabs another piece of fruit and stands. “I like all kinds of things, Rose. You’d know that if you let me in.”
I stiffen, my muscles going as tight as my heart. “It’s not like you’ve been knocking on my door trying to play twenty questions every day. In the beginning, sure, because you wanted to know what I knew about Novak’s operation. That was fine by me. You’re here to protect me. You don’t have to pretend to like me to do that. I’m a job to you and nothing more.”
His voice dips low, vibrating along my skin. “When did I say that?”
“You don’t have to say it. I’m not an idiot. In what world would someone like you be interested in someone like me? I’m used goods.”
I don’t even have time to look away before his hand is on my chin, wrenching my face up so he can stare into my eyes. His hand is braced on the bed beside my hip, his upper body almost on top of my knees. I should be scared. My heartbeat goes out of control, but my mind is calm and clear, unlike earlier when he’d caught me.
“Don’t you ever fucking talk about yourself like that again. If I hear it, I’ll punish you, and I promise, there are punishments I’ve been saving just for you, Rose.”
I swallow hard, unable to speak with his hand still clenched around my jaw.
He stares into my eyes a second longer, then shoves off the bed, pushing my face away gently.
When the tears slip out of my eyes, I’m thankful he’s already gone.