Of course, he doesn’t move, and I didn’t expect him to either. His eyes narrow, and he only settles against me harder as if he’d been holding back some of his weight before. “You don’t give me orders, Rose. I’ll get off you when I damn well please, especially after you wake me the hell up with whatever the hell kind of episode you were having in here. They haven’t been that bad since the first few nights after your recovery. What’s going on?”
I just glare at him. Since he won’t get off me, I don’t intend to tell him a single thing until he does at least that much.
His voice takes a lower note. Almost a whisper, but it washes through me. “I can stay right here between your pretty thighs all night. Don’t tempt me.”
That tone starts something deep in my belly, arousal. I don’t have much experience with it, especially where another person is concerned. The acrid bile in my throat and the heat at my core melding together sends me into a tailspin.
I buck my hips up, trying to get him off me again, but all that accomplishes is settling him more firmly between my legs, allowing me to feel every solid inch of his body and his dick against my core.
“Careful,” he breathes, like a threat and a warning all at once.
9
KAI
I pitch my voice low in an attempt at calming when she thrashes underneath me like a wild animal. “Stop fucking struggling, or I’ll give you a reason to fear me.”
For a second, she freezes, unmoving, her eyes, pupils blown and boring into mine. I tighten my hold on her wrists, only enough to keep myself in check. Every inch of her body lies along mine, and I find myself wanting to savor another person for the first times in a long time. Even before everything happened with the council bitch, I didn’t really want anyone to touch me.
I guess touching her is not the same as her touching me. But the fucking scent of her. Soft, clean soap with a hint of sweat, no doubt from the nightmare I heard earlier. “Are you done fighting?”
She drops her gaze to my mouth, scanning my face, and I’m not sure what she’s seeing or what she’s looking for. Either way, I can’t take much longer lying in the cradle of her thighs like this, at least not without causing her to panic all over again.
Her voice is soft and scratchy when she finally answers me. “I couldn’t get out of the room.”
I don’t bother to hide my annoyance. “Yeah, because you were being pissy at me and locked the door. You must have woken after your nightmare and completely forgotten. You can’t keep going on like this, Rose. It’s not healthy, not for you, and certainly not for me.”
Her brows bunch together, and she shakes her head. “What’s that supposed to mean? Like I have any control over this. You think I want to wake up in cold sweats with my scars aching? You think I want to have nightmares that make me scream so loud my throat hurts when I wake up?”
I lean in so I can meet her eyes head-on. “No, so don’t deliberately misunderstand what I’m saying. You can take control over so many things in your life, things you’re refusing to acknowledge.”
“Like what?” she spits. “I can’t go anywhere on my own. I can’t stand when people touch me. Even now, my skin is crawling from you up against me.”
Ouch. I should be offended because of the slight note of disgust in her tone, but I’ve learned enough about her that she’s only saying it to drive me away. Yes, she might have been touched, but she doesn’t hate me, even if she wishes she did.
“You can curse me and call me anything you like. It won’t stop me from protecting you or from helping you.”
Her response is sullen, a pout on her full pink lips. “I don’t need your help.”
I tipped my chin toward the broken doorframe. “Yeah, you can’t even get out of your bedroom, but you don’t need my help.”
It was the wrong thing to say, like poking an already shaking beehive. This time, she doesn’t yell. She barely whispers, her eyes full of fire and fury. “Fuck you, and fuck Adrian. Fuck all of you. I don’t need any of you.”
I press her hands down into the floor harder. “What about Valentina?” God, I can’t believe I’m about to say this to her face, but it’s a truth she’s long since needed to hear. “What about the woman who considers you a sister? Family? The only reason she came back that night, the only reason Sal got his fucking hands on her, was because she’d never leave you. Adrian asked her to stay with him, asked why, if she accepted his help, would she go back home. Tell me, Rose? Why would she go back to that house?”
I feel like the fucking monster so many say I am. Shame curls in my gut like a sleeping dragon waiting patiently for a weak moment to strike.
Her eyes are wide again, her breathing a little too fast. “Wha—What are you saying? That it’s my fault she almost died? That I nearly got her killed.”
I grind my teeth together. It wasn’t her fucking fault. It was Sal’s for being a psychopath with a small dick, but I can’t tell her that. I need her to start seeing how her actions and reactions affect those around her. Adrian would kill her without a second thought if she did something to hurt Valentina in one of her rages. And then Valentina would never forgive him. Her loss would break him, and I’d never allow that.
So right now, I’ll play the monster so he won’t have to.
I clear my features and shake my head, curling my lip so she sees disgust even though it’s only shame and anger constricting my chest. “She could have left with him and never once had to deal with Sal or her father again. She only came back for you.”
She blinks once, twice, and a fat tear slides down her cheek, then another. “No, I mean…” Her eyes turn pleading, begging me to take it back or make it all better, but I can’t, not this time. Not when she needs to understand she can’t keep going on like this. Especially when I can finally reunite her with her cousin.
“Why would you say something so horrible?”