My hair stuck to my neck and chest, and my face became dewy from the moisture in the air. I hadn’t felt relaxed in a long time, and for some reason, that made this awful sort of pain settle in my chest.
When I opened my eyes and looked around the bathroom, I thought about the grand room just on the other side of the closed bathroom door, how it felt too big… was too much.
I gasped suddenly, this wave of panic filling me as my pulse beat in my ears and my stomach roiled. I sat up and covered my mouth with the back of my hand as sudden nausea rose up.
I frantically looked around again, then glanced at my body, the water sloshing around me from my sudden movement. My ribs stood out, my belly was concave, and my skin far too pale to look healthy. Oh gods. I ran my fingers over my scars, felt tears fill my eyes before they spilled forth and slid down my cheeks.
And then I was sobbing, and pulled my legs up to my chest as I wrapped my arms around them and dropped my face to my knees. I cried for so long and so hard it hurt.
That was how Odhran found me, the scent of my mate and his wolf filling my head. He was talking to me, but I couldn’t hear him clearly, just watched his mouth move and this pained look cross his face.
The water was now chilled, goose bumps covering my arms and legs. Yet I didn’t feel much of anything but this heavy weight of discomfort. My head was a rush of sorrow, waves filling my ears, so I didn’t even know if he spoke English or Gaelic.
I hated the self-pity I felt.
I didn’t stop him as he gently washed my hair, then rinsed it out. I said nothing as he lifted me easily out of the tub, and didn’t protest as he dried me off with a thick, white towel before wrapping it around me.
I curled against his chest as he carried me into the bedroom and sat me on the edge of the bed. I was this doll he dressed in one of his oversized T-shirts. I felt inner shame that he’d seen my naked form with all the proof of how ugly they’d made me.
“My sweet girl with the softest heart,” he whispered as he moved behind me on the bed and started to brush my hair gently. And then he was braiding the strands, his fingers slow and careful as he intermittently kissed the back of my head before going back to his task at hand.
And when he was finished, he tucked us into the bed and pulled me in close.
I didn’t know when he’d taken off his clothes, but I felt the solid, warm heat of his bare chest at my spine, the soft tickle of his undergarments along the back of my thighs. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me impossibly close to him, surrounded me with his body so I knew there was no chance for me to pull away, to withdraw into myself.
I felt myself still crying, but it was silent tears, the kind that you could never stop no matter how hard you tried.
“We’ll figure this out,” he said softly, his warm breath smelling faintly of whiskey and brushing along the shell of my ear. “We can get through everything, anything, lass.” He tightened his arms around me for a second.
I squeezed my eyes shut and lifted my hands to curl them around one of his thickly muscled forearms. I felt the scars on his flesh, warrior marks from him fighting, from his strength and power.
Then I thought of mine.
How can you find me beautiful?
I felt his muscles contract right before he whispered, “Ye’re beautiful. Ye’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.” He exhaled softly. “I’m no’ worthy to even look at ye, let alone have ye as my mate, but I’m too selfish tae ever let ye go.”
I didn’t realize I’d said the words out loud until he spoke, and it just made me cry harder, because I believed him. I may not have understood how or why he could see past all the things that tormented me on the outside, but his words were sincere, pulled from his heart with all the anguish that surrounded us.
“We’ll get through this,” he said again and harder this time, his voice sounding more determined, as if there were no other options.
He kissed the back of my head, and I closed my eyes.
“I hope so. I really, really hope so.”
Chapter
Seventeen
Larkin
I’d never seen so many massive males, ones who were double… triple my size. But I was surrounded by them now.
They seemed to keep coming, pouring out of massive, dark SUVs, their bodies clad in black, their expressions frightening.
There were so many Lycan males swarming over Odhran’s estate and outside on the property that it was overwhelming, so much so that I’d made myself scarce, and now found myself in the library running my fingers over the spines of the tattered and aged books.
I could hear the deep rumble of voices pouring through the walls, the words indescribable as they spoke Gaelic.