She’s cut off. My sister reaches over and covers her mouth. “Hush up, lush.” Sharon laughs, the sound muffled by my sister’s hand until she pushes it away. Both of them crack up and Renee and Magnolia join them.
“The past is in the past,” Autumn says, looking carefully at me as I stand up, my phone in hand, burning to be answered. I haven’t forgotten he called me baby. Or the way his message made me feel all hopeful and raw.
“Either way,” I point out, “I’ve got to get a refill.”
Sharon groans. “You’re such a tease. I want to know what happened.”
“I’ll be back in a minute.” They’re already talking and laughing about something else Sharon said the moment my back is turned. The night is still light and fun, like it should be. Even though there’s this ache in my chest.
They all beg me to hurry back as I open the screen door on the patio, heading into the kitchen. If I tell everybody what happened with Asher, it’s going to mean reliving it all over again. I’ll never forget how he broke up with me over the freaking phone. I saw it coming, even though I didn’t want to. Admitting it to myself was the most painful experience.
Things had been off between us for weeks. No, more like months. Asher was supposed to come see me, but then he canceled. Over and over. He took forever to answer my texts and my calls. Then, when he did message me, he seemed distant. I tried to tell myself that he was just busy, but I knew better.
Our friendship was too strong. I know how he sounds over text. I know how he sounds when he leaves a message. Everything was wrong. I was hurt, and I was angry. I hated how jealous I felt of everyone he was putting first.
I should have been able to talk to him about it, but he kept saying he was fine. There was nothing wrong. That I needed to stop and calm down. All I needed was for him to come see me like he said he would.
So when he said something came up, for the fourth time in a row … Well, I was prepared.
I knew he was going to break up with me the second I saw his name on my phone. I knew he didn’t love me anymore. Something had changed.
The memory hits me hard as I lean on the granite counter and take a deep breath.
Last night wasn’t about anything starting again. It wasn’t about the past, or the breakup. It wasn’t even love. It was lust. Lust and nothing else. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I wanted him, just like I always have.
He wanted me … that’s not promising anything to give him that, right? It was a night to get over it. My fingers drift up to my throat where he kissed me. I can tell myself that at least.
Pouring another sangria, I turn to go back outside, where the laughter can be faintly heard. Instead I pace through the house in an attempt to clear my head before going back out there.
I just need a few minutes to sift through these memories. I’m quiet, so no one takes notice of me. All the kids are upstairs sleeping. My nephew Cameron is only a few months old, though, so he could wake up any minute. I’m as silent as can be with that in mind. Mags usually brings her daughter, but she got a sitter tonight for Bridget. The only rumble of any sorts comes from down the hall. The guys are in the living room with beers. It’s Brody’s night off from the bar. He and Griffin own it. I’m half surprised Renee isn’t working tonight, given that Griffin is. The thought makes my lips perk up but then I realize something.
All of the guys are generally together, just like they are tonight. Asher’s not here, though. I feel a pang. I wish he were here. That’s the dumbest thing about this situation. It doesn’t feel right without him.
* * *
I fan my face, letting it cool down a little more before taking another drink. I need my game face on to tell Sharon exactly what happened. Whatever I do, I’m not going to cry talking about a breakup that happened two years ago. It only takes a minute and a few more sips of liquid courage before I pull the screen door open, but when I step back outside onto the porch, it’s quiet.
“Somebody’s here for you, Brianna,” Autumn says.
“Who?” I spent all that time getting myself together, and now I feel tipsy again. “We’re all here already.”
Autumn tilts her head toward the other side of the porch, and there he is. Asher.
My stomach drops. It’s like he heard me thinking about him and appeared in the middle of our gathering. Is this because I didn’t text him back? For a moment, I can’t breathe.
In worn jeans and a black tee, he makes blue collar look sexy as hell. Glancing at his stubble reminds me of how it rubbed against my neck last night as he fucked me against the wall.
“Hey, Asher.” My voice is an octave higher than it should be. As I’m clearing my throat, he smirks.
“Bri.”
They’re all going to talk about this, no matter what happens. One conversation at the bar is nothing. Asher showing up here and asking for me? That’s something. That’s what kind of town this is. That’s what kind of friends I have. They care, and they talk, and there will be an interrogation the moment Asher leaves.
I steady myself and meet his steely gaze. “What brings you here?” Everyone is staring. Everyone is waiting. If the girls could have popcorn in their laps right now, I’m sure they would. I’d hear them crunching away in the background.
He glances over my shoulder to where all the girls are gathered, then back at me. “Can we talk?” Asher slips his hands in his pockets. “Maybe inside?”
I pull myself up tall, even though my face is hot.