The thought of it was exciting for us both. A little house. Privacy. A door to shut everybody else out with. No one would be able to walk in on us.
That’s what I built. Our getaway.
My heart races and I didn’t expect that at all.
It’s just a house. If anyone asks, I built the house for me, but of course Brianna’s been in the back of my mind all this time. How could she not be? How could I not think of her when I was building our dream place on the lake?
“Have you been thinking about getting a place now that you’re back?” I ask and attempt to sound casual. The thoughts in my head are shitty company compared to her voice.
She glances out the window, thoughtful. “I’m staying with my parents for a while. Right now, I’m still planning on working two jobs for the foreseeable.”
“Are you sure you want to do that?” I question as I turn down the gravel road. “You won’t get burned out?”
“I just want to pay off my student loans as fast as I can, you know?”
Brianna’s eyes meet mine again and I’ll be damned if it isn’t just how it was before. I keep thinking it and I know it’s not right, but it can’t be denied. The way she talks to me, all her hopes and dreams coming up to the surface, it’s like it was. It gives me hope.
I force it away. If this is all I can have, if Bri telling me what she really wants from her life is all I can have as her friend, I’ll sure as hell take it.
“I get that,” I answer, keeping it somewhat surface level. “I tried to pay off my car as soon as I could too. I don’t want debt hanging over my head.”
“Me neither,” she agrees. “It makes me nervous. Not because I don’t think I’ll be able to pay, just because …”
“Because it’s hanging over your head. Bothering you all the time.”
“Exactly.” She bites at her lip. “You never know when something might happen. I like to have everything tidied up just in case, and I want the same thing for my loans. Plus it’ll be easier to move on once those are paid off.”
“Move on to what?” An anxiousness spikes through me.
“I don’t know. I was for real when I said that to your mom. My biggest plan is to pay off the loans. They’re not too expensive, and then I’ll get a little savings together. Maybe then I’ll make more permanent decisions.” Bri laughs again. It’s the prettiest sound I’ve ever heard. “Or maybe I won’t. Who knows?”
“Not moving away though, right?” I ask her and dammit, I sound like a downright fool.
“No, Asher. I don’t think I’m moving and if I do, it won’t be far.”
Swallowing hard, I nod and then nod again.
“I just want to be debt-free if I can be.”
“Smart. You always have been.” I agree with her decision. I like that she’s safe living with her parents too. I like that she’s not living alone.
I’d like it more if she lived with me, though. I bite my tongue to keep those words from coming out. I already got down on my knees once today. I’m not going farther.
Friendship, I remind myself again. This is about friendship.
A friend would show her his place. A friend wouldn’t put any pressure on the moment. A friend would just share it with her. No expectations.
The gravel crunches under the wheels as we pull in. Crystal Lake is a decent size. Not too big, not too small. Waves lap at the sandy shore. It’s calm out here, and quiet, with more stars than you can see in town. It’s a small enough town that there’s plenty of night sky even when you’re standing on Main Street, but out here they’re even brighter and clearer.
There’s a row of houses, each one slightly different yet they all have that beachy feel to them. Mine is at the end of the row, set back a little bit from the others. It had a bigger yard. That’s why I got it; I liked the lot. More space for the house and more privacy.
We pull up and climb out of the truck, and I sink into my memories again as the doors close with a gentle thud in the night.
We went out on the lake so many times growing up. The girls would sunbathe. Sometimes we’d go fishing—all of us guys, girls, it didn’t matter. What mattered was that everybody was happy. My friends laughed. That’s what summer meant. The sound of Brianna’s laughter, a splash as somebody did a cannonball, whoever got splashed would holler, and we would all just let go.
With nostalgia clinging to me, I turn to my right in front of what will be my home to see Brianna staring up at it like she can’t believe it’s here. “This is your place?”
“This is it.”