Maxim (Carolina Reapers 10)

I swallowed around the lump in my throat, snatching my phone out of his hand. “Why not, Maxim? Did you read the same thing I did? See the same pictures?” My voice cracked, and I couldn’t stop the tears from building. “How can I stay here and have any self-respect in the morning?”

Maxim’s head snapped back. “Self-respect? Are you kidding me with this?” He pointed toward the phone I’d pocketed. “That is gossip rag bullshit at its finest, Evie. We’ve talked about this. The media will do anything for a story and relationship drama sells.”

“So, you’re denying it?” I asked. “You’re telling me, to my face, that you didn’t date those women for however long you dated them because they gave you luck in your game?”

He raked his fingers through his hair, sucking in a long breath and letting it out slowly. “You know my past. I’ve dated hundreds of women—”

“And there are a hundred more waiting downstairs for you!” I snapped. “Literally all of them are dying to be your next lucky charm.” I hiccup-cried, sounding like a total urchin as angry tears bled from my eyes.

“Not one of them can compare to you!” Maxim shouted back.

I swiped the tears away, working on slowing my breath. “Right,” I said, my entire body shaking with adrenaline. I wanted to scream at myself for thinking I could match up to his past. To be enough for him in both his private and public life. “I know I don’t compare,” I said. “The article made that quite clear.”

“Evie, I hate to break this to you, but the media will literally say anything or tear anyone down for a story. To get views or comments and shares. This won’t be the last article they write about us. I thought you understood that. Thought you knew to stay away from it, to not let it get to you.”

“Not let it get to me?” I gaped at him. “Maxim, they paraded around something I thought was special, thought was unique to us, like it was the most commonly talked about thing in the world!”

“You know how I feel about you,” Maxim said, taking a step toward me, but I took a step back.

If he got his hands on me, I’d crumble until nothing existed but my need to please him. My need to be whatever he needed.

“Do I?” I asked, pushing out the words I’d kept bottled up for years. “Because I’ve loved you since I was eighteen. I’ve loved you since before I even knew what that feeling was. And I’ve told you the truth for months. I love you, Maxim Zolotov, and I thought I could wait forever if that meant I got to have the pieces of you that you were willing to give me.” I sucked in a sharp breath, giving him a moment to respond, but his jaw was locked, the muscle there ticking. And his silence, his lack of response at that confession, had the rest of my heart shattering. I cleared my throat, a numb sort of sadness washing over me. “But I can’t just be convenient for you, Maxim. I can’t sit here, giving you my entire heart and soul, while you wait for the next lucky charm to come around.”

Maxim flinched, anger glazing over those cobalt eyes. He took a step away from me, shaking his head as he slid his hands into his pockets. “If that’s what you really think of me, then maybe you don’t know me at all,” he snapped. “Maybe you just loved the idea of me, just like every other fan downstairs. You loved the fantasy, what I could give you physically.” He shrugged. “No one else got you off properly before, might as well be your roommate, huh? Your best friend’s older brother? Now, that’s convenient, Evangeline.”

My lips parted, the pain of his words hitting me like a sledgehammer to the chest. I tipped my chin up, not losing his gaze through the tears as I stepped within an inch of him. He didn’t move. Didn’t reach for me. Just stared down at me with those relentless blue eyes glazed with anger and unshed tears.

“I saw you, Maxim,” I said, and he shuddered. “No one else saw you the way I did. I saw your heart, the way your father worked you into hating what you once loved. Saw the way you could be gentle with those you loved, and ruthless with those you hated. I saw the Maxim no one else did. The one who went out of his way to help his team, help his sister’s best friend.” I swallowed hard. “The one who found it in his cold heart to make a relationship with the brother he grew up hating, envying. I saw you when you had fire in your eyes for the game you once loved, saw you regain and lose and find that passion over and over again. Watched you as you somehow made it through all that shit with a coy smile on your face and confidence in your gait.” I licked my lips, tasting tears and sadness. “That’s the Maxim I fell for. Not some flashy paparazzi, Armani-wearing version.”